Second Chances
by The Dark Knight's Princess
Summary: Collaboration between Historygeek and DKP. Casey Novak is new in town and she doesn't quite know the ways of the city. Alex Cabot is tired of being alone though she would never admit it to anyone. After their blind date is followed by a tragic accident, the two learn together about the luxury of having a second chance in life. AU A/C pair side pairs including K/A and S/O.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: As per request, Historygeek and I are back with another collaborative work for you all to enjoy. This one is gonna be a tad bit different than anything I think either of us have ever written but we are confident you are going to enjoy it all the same. **

**Disclaimer: Any unoriginal character in this story does not belong to us though we desperately wish they did :P**

"But Al, I really think it would be good for you!"

"No."

"Please? I already told her that you would!"

"Well call her and tell her you were mistaken, because I'm not."

"Yes you are because I already said you would. Pretty please!"

"No Abbie!"

Abbie Carmichael rolls her eyes in a dramatic fashion as she continues to follow the irritated blonde through the halls of their office. No matter how many times she has been told no, she refuses to back down now. "Alex, think about this. When was the last time you went out?"

"I went grocery shopping the other day." Alex Cabot throws over her shoulder as she continues to try to shake the brunette off of her tail.

"That doesn't count and you know it!"

"I said no!"

"What's going on?" Kim Greylek asks cautiously poking her head out of her office to see the argument at hand.

Abbie pauses and huffs greatly before folding her arms tightly. "Remember that oh so very nice thing I did for Alex? Well now she says she doesn't want to do it when clearly it is an amazing idea, if I do say so myself."

Kim seems to mull this over for a moment before she shakes her head and disappears back into her office only to reappear a few seconds later. "Well since I have you standing here, Alex, I need your signature on…" she trails off when she realizes that the two women have continued their argument down the hallway. "Ugh…the things I do for this job."

Alex scowls deeply as she shakes her head for probably the thousandth time that afternoon. "Abbie I already told you that I'm not going to do it! Now I was polite the first few times but you're really starting to piss me off. I said no and no means no."

"I want you to give me a few good reasons as to why you keep saying no." Abbie challenges as she follows Alex towards her office. She folds her arms and leans against the doorway, waiting for Alex to unlock the door before she quickly slips in, denying Alex the pleasure of slamming the door in her face. "At least tell me why you keep saying now."

"Because Abigail," Alex begins with exasperation as she firmly flattens her hands on her desk. "I refuse to spend a perfectly useful evening of mine with one of your buddies who is going to talk about home on the range for an hour and a half and then serenade me with the sweet sounds of every country music hillbilly to come out of the state of Texas!"

"That was one time Alex. ONE time!"

"Well it was one time too many. Save it for some other sucker, Abbie, because I refuse to be yours for a second time. I have much better things to do."

"Well I wouldn't necessarily say sitting at home would be something better to do." Serena Southerlyn chimes casually, having heard yelling from down the hall, and being her ever nosy self, she decided to check it out.

Alex glowers at the shot before she realizes that she has three people standing in her office that most definitely don't need to be there. "Why the hell are all of you in here!" she exclaims, having had enough pestering for the afternoon. "I've had about enough of all of you. Get out. All of you."

"I'm just here for a signature!" Kim exclaims, holding up a file.

"Fine." Alex relents with a heavy sigh before she snatches the folder and scribbles her signature on the bottom line right above her second chair's. Tossing the folder on her desk, she looks up at the remaining two women and she begins rubbing her temples. "Abbie, if I agree to go out with your friend will you leave me alone?"

A wide grin breaks out on Abbie's face as she vigorously nods her head. "I promise. Cross my heart." She swears, before turning serious. "Seriously, Alex, I really think that you'll like her. Casey's very down to earth. Plus she's real excited about meeting you."

"Casey? Isn't that the-oof!" Serena begins only to find herself cut off when Abbie elbows her in the ribs. "I mean, yeah, Abbie told me about her. She sounds nice."

"Nice or not, it's still me going out with a complete stranger." Alex mutters, shaking her head in disdain as she looks at her friends. "I realize that you three think I need to get out more and I appreciate your…efforts and attempts in aiding me, but I am perfectly happy with the way things are now. I don't need to be seeing someone to be happy."

"No truer words have been spoken." Kim mutters quietly, casually looking down at her file when she catches Abbie's pointed glare. "I mean darn…I think I hear my work calling me."

Alex puffs before flopping down into her chair, staring up at the two remaining ADAs in her office. "Is that all the two of you wanted? To be sure that I'll go out on this silly date?"

"Yeah basically." Abbie responds casually. "But I promise you'll have a good time."

"And if you don't, you can always call me to come and rescue you." Serena offers, giving her best friend a grin.

Alex responds with a genuine smile before she sighs. "Fine, fine. I'll do it. But if there is any sign that she is a stalker, a creep, or into some kind of weird foot fetish, I'm out of there." She explains before mumbling. "I've had my fair share of those."

Abbie shakes her head as she taps her finger to her chin. "Don't worry, she's not. At least…I don't think that she is." She corrects herself before humming. "The last time we spoke she didn't mention anything about foot fetishes…"

Serena rolls her eyes before looping her arm through her bosses to begin tugging her out of the room. "You must have a lot of work to do Al, I'll swing by later to check and make sure you're still breathing." She concludes, closing the door behind them before she whirls on Abbie. "She is going to kill you."

"She's not gonna figure it out until next week." Abbie supplies with a shrug as she smoothes out the wrinkles Serena put in her blazer. "By then she'll be happily in love and she won't even remember how much she'll hate me."

"Abbie you set her up on a blind date with the woman who is supposed to be her ADA next week!" Serena whisper yells, throwing her hands up in the air. "Do you know the definition of 'bad idea' when you see one, or do just completely ignore those?"

"It's not a bad idea! It's for Alex's happiness. You of all people know how lonely she is." Abbie counters. "She said the last time she 'went out' was when she went to go grocery store. The grocery store Serena! That's a cry for help. I go to bed with a cardboard cutout every night and I still manage to have more of a life than Alex!"

Serena frowns deeply before she sighs and shakes her head. "If she asks, I had absolutely nothing to do with this."

"What?! It was YOUR idea! 'Oh, Abbie, I'm so worried about Alex. Surely you have a friend that'll be right for her. Surely you can find someone!' Is that not what you said?"

"I didn't tell you to go pick out her future ADA!"

"To be fair I didn't know Casey had gotten the job until AFTER I told her about the date!"

"Still! You knew she applied and that's enough."

"The point is if I go down for this; I'm taking you down with me."

Serena narrows her eyes before folding her arms tightly. "Fine, I will take the fall with you." she bites back before clenching her jaw. "But I'm telling Kim that you called her a cardboard cutout."

"Please, I'm already sleeping on the couch for when I told her the new dress she bought was ugly. What more can she do?"

"You told her that?! Abbie, you're not supposed to tell a woman something she likes is ugly no matter how hideous it is!"

"Well what was I supposed to do? Let her go out looking like a bloated walrus?"

"Please tell me you didn't tell her that…" Serena sighs, her eyes widening when she receives silence as a response. "Oh my god, you did, didn't you? It's a wonder you're only sleeping on the couch. If Olivia told me I looked like a walrus I would've put her on the patio."

"It's a good thing my woman is more classy than that." Abbie replies, proudly placing her hands on her hips. "But seriously, I do need to buy an apology gift."

Serena's mouth falls open before she holds up a finger and shakes her head. "No. Absolutely not. You got yourself into this and now you can get yourself out. A bloated walrus, Abbie, honestly!"

"I was only being honest!"

"Here's a piece of advice. Next time; lie."

**Later **

Casey Novak continues to wring her hands together as she continues to pace the length of her bedroom in her new apartment. Moving to New York wasn't exactly something that was on her bucket list, but with the new job, she can't exactly say that she's complaining. But as too why she's nervous? Because her incompetent long time friend has decided to set her up on a date with a complete stranger.

She nearly jumps out of her skin when she hears a knock at her front door and she practically trips over her own feet trying to answer it. She throws open the locks and pulls open the door, letting out a breath of relief when she sees her friend on the other side. "Thank god you're here. It's an emergency."

"Well nothing seems to be on fire so I know you weren't cooking." Abbie responds as she invites herself in to look around. "It's a nice place. I like it. It screams bachelorette."

Casey raises her eyebrows as she closes the door and follows her friend into the living room. "And I suppose yours screams…?"

"Tied down." Abbie responds with a smirk tugging at the corner of her lips. "The bedroom says it all. Kim has so many shoes it looks like Jimmy Choo, Michael Kors, and Christian Louboutin all run their businesses out of our closet…"

At this, Casey can't help but laugh as she leads the way towards her bedroom. "Now that's funny. I have to meet her someday then."

"You will. Just not soon. A bad story about an ugly dress and a walrus." Abbie explains shaking her head. "Anyway, are you excited about tonight? You better be, I told her you were."

"Excited may not be the word. Nervous wreck is more like it." Casey explains with a nervous chuckle as she drags a hand through her hair. "I called you over here because I have no idea what to wear. I haven't completely unpacked my wardrobe yet, but I think I have enough out to put together a decent outfit for tonight. I just need, god forbid I say it, help."

Abbie smirks as she moves past her friend to peer into her closet and the set of clothes she has set out on the bed. "Well it's good to see that your wardrobe has improved since the last time we saw each other. I don't see any lime green so that's a start."

Casey rolls her eyes before she folds her arms, perching herself on the edge of the bed. "Yes well, a little southern birdie once told me that lime green clashes with my hair color."

"What a wise birdie." Abbie hums as she reaches into the closet and pulls out a deep blue button down blouse. "I think you should play it safe with this. Wear this and a pair of slacks and you should be good to go. I highly doubt she'll be looking at what you wear straight off. She's more concerned about you having some kind of foot fetish."

"Foot…fetish?"

"Bad date…really long story. But you don't have any of that so you don't have anything to worry about."

Casey is silent for a moment before she sighs heavily and rests her chin in her hands. "I don't know Abbie. What if she doesn't like me? I mean, what are we supposed to talk about?"

"That's the whole purpose of the date, Case!" Abbie exclaims, clapping her hands together. "The whole point is to get to know each other, to have a connection. I'm sure that the two of you will find something to talk about. Just…don't dwell too much on the work topic."

"Why? Isn't that usually the conversation starter? 'What do you do for a living'?"

"Yeah, but trust me. Not this time. Just talk about her interests and things like that."

"Can't you give me tips? You know, about what to talk about with her?"

Abbie chuckles as she shakes her head and wags her finger. "Now Casey, that would be cheating. Then it wouldn't be a 'blind date'."

Casey sighs heavily as she rests her head in her hands once again. "It wouldn't hurt." She murmurs, wondering what she's just gotten herself into.

* * *

Alex sighs quietly against her anxiety as she checks the time on her cell phone for probably the hundredth time. She knows that even though her…date, is only fifteen minutes late, she shouldn't make a huge deal out of it. Normally she would be outraged at being stood up for a whole fifteen minutes, but she reminds herself that she promised she would at least try to relax for the night.

"Look at me, worried about being stood up by someone I haven't even met." She murmurs quietly to herself as she takes a small sip from the glass of wine in front of her. "It wouldn't be the first time…"

Though she would never admit it out loud to herself or to any of her friends, she has been feeling a little lonely as of late which has contributed to her irritable mood and the way that she's been burying herself into her work. Normally it wouldn't bother her, but whenever she sees how happy Serena is with Olivia or how Kim lovingly gazes at Abbie when she thinks no one is watching, Alex can't help but feel a little jealous.

"This is ridiculous. What am I doing." She asks herself, as she begins rooting in her purse for enough to cover the tab of the wine. Just as she is about to give up on cash and write a check so she can leave, she is stopped by a rather nervous looking redhead who approaches her table.

"Um, Alex?" The woman asks rather cautiously.

"Yes…?" Alex responds with just as much caution.

"Hi. I'm Casey." The redhead greets with a smile as she slips into the opposite booth before offering her hand over the table. "I'm really sorry I'm late. I'm kind of new here and the city is a lot bigger than I anticipated, so I wound up getting a little lost. You haven't…been here long, have you?"

Blinking out of her state of shock at how normal and dare she say it, hot, the other woman looks, Alex manages to regain her cool and respond with elegance. "Um, no. I haven't. I've just been sitting here, browsing the menu for what I might want. I've never been here."

"Me either." Casey responds, back tracking when she realizes how stupid that must've sounded. "Of course I've never been here; I just told you I was new. Sorry…I don't usually…do things like this."

"Me either." Alex answers. "I mean, maybe a few times, but they were all set up by my friends and I couldn't exactly say no after they set up the date. So, um, you're a friend of Abbie's?"

Casey blinks owlishly before she manages a small smile and nods her head. "Oh yes, we went to college together and managed to stay in contact when she moved here and I moved to Chicago. She told me the two of you work together."

Alex sighs quietly before a small chuckle escapes her lips. "That we do. That's how I came to know her; we met at the office. That's where she started dating one of my best friends. So…what brings you to New York?"

"New job." Casey responds, hoping to keep the awkwardness out of her voice.

"Oh…that's interesting."

"Yeah."

Biting her lip, Alex puts down her menu and sighs quietly. "Casey listen, you seem really nice, but it's obvious that we're both really uncomfortable with being here and-" she pauses as she finds herself cut off by her phone. "Excuse me a moment."

A small frown creases across the blonde's forehead as she listens to Olivia explains something to her on the other line. "Alright, that seems to be enough. I'll go get a warrant from a judge. Just sit tight until I can get it to you." as she ends the call, she sighs again as she looks at the redhead across from her. "Listen, I'm really sorry, but something work related came up and I really have to go."

"No, I understand." Casey says with a nod. "Um, I have my car, would you like me to drop you off where you need to be?"

"That's really nice of you, but not necessary. I'll take a cab." Alex responds with a small smile as she lives a few bills for her wine.

"Are you sure? It'll be no trouble at all."

"It's fine. Again, I'm really sorry about this. Take care."

"You too!" Casey calls out, sighing heavily as she watches the woman dash through the front door. She leans back in her chair and absentmindedly drums her fingers on the table. "Really thought we made a connection…"

Alex mutters a stream of slurs about incompetent timing as she tries in vain to hail a taxi. "Honestly, sometimes I regret moving out of Boston and into the wretched city." She mutters, moving to the corner to where she can hopefully have better luck on the other side of the street.

The light turns red, and the little glowing man appears on the crosswalk signaling for her to cross. Just as the steps off of the curb, she doesn't spot the car preparing to run the red light until it is far too late. Headlights quickly approach her and there is a loud thud before her body hits the pavement and everything goes black.

**Uh oh…leave your thoughts? **


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: As stated before, this is going to be a little different than anything either of us have written before, but we're confident you will enjoy it. Oh yeah, and apologies in advance for…well you'll see ;)**

**Also, to the guest who loves HistoryPrincess…well, we hadn't even realized we had become a pairing. So does that mean…people ship us now? Lol. **

As the driver looked in his rear view mirror he was satisfied the blonde would not be getting up anytime soon, she certainly wouldn't be prosecuting his boss or anyone else in the near future, if ever. Seeing a crowd start to gather he hit the accelerator quickly disappearing into the evening traffic, the large SUV showing little damage and quickly blending in with the crowd. Reaching the outskirts of the city, he found an abandoned lot where he quickly ditched the vehicle and half an hour later he slid into the back of a black town car, the burning car lighting up the evening.

"I trust it's done." Asked his boss.

"Just as we arranged." Replied the driver with a smile at a job well done.

* * *

Abbie Carmichael was up to her elbows in soapy water, grumbling under her breath as she reached for yet another pile of dirty crockery. Coming home from work she had been surprised to find their apartment bathed in candle light and the table set for a romantic dinner for two. Seeing her lover coming towards her in a beautiful black dress Abbie had thought she was out of the doghouse, until her girlfriend informed her she was going out with Serena and that there was a pile of washing up waiting for her in the kitchen. Walking in to the kitchen Abbie had wanted to stamp her foot as she saw every pot, pan and plate they owned needing to be washed up and a note taped to the front of the dishwasher informing her it was broken.

"Bet Serena gave her this idea." Muttered Abbie as she reached for another pile of dirty crockery, hearing her phone ring she wiped her hands on a towel and reached for it, "Carmichael."

"I hate you."

"Um, Case?"

"It was a disaster, I was fifteen minutes late because I got lost, we made about five minutes of awkward small talk before she got a phone call and left. So, I reiterate, I hate you."

"Ah come on Case it couldn't have been that bad?" Replied Abbie, mentally calculating how far her savings would get her when Alex and Casey found out they would be working together.

"Oh really, then why did she bale on me after only five minutes?" Asked Casey as she nursed the beer she had ordered.

"Maybe she got called into work." Suggested Abbie.

"What is it she does?" Asked Casey realizing other than the blondes name she knew very little about her.

"Um...well...erm she's a lawyer an ADA actually."

"Wait, what's her surname?"

"Um, Cabot. Did I not mention that?" Replied Abbie her voice almost a whisper.

"Cabot, as in ADA Alex Cabot, the woman I will be working with as of Monday? The woman who will be my supervisor? Abigail..I am going to kill you."

"There's someone at the door I have to go." Replied Abbie hanging up and tossing her phone on the side as if afraid it was going it bite her and muttered, "Might be a good time to go home for a visit, a month or twelve should do it."

Looking at her phone Casey debating calling Abbie back and making more threats, but her attention was diverted by the loud wailing of an ambulance speeding past the window. Taking another sip of her beer she let her mind replay her conversation with the blonde, she couldn't believe how idiotic she must have sounded, no wonder Alex made her excuses and left she probably thought Casey was a moron. There was no doubt the woman was beautiful and although their conversation had been brief and faltering, Casey was still disappointed when the blonde had left.

She hadn't really wanted to meet anyone, but Abbie insisted she needed to get out and meet people and Alex was just perfect for her. Her heart was still under repair after her ex-girlfriend Jennifer broke it, Casey had thought they would get married, have children and live happily ever after. Then one day she left work early and walked in on Jennifer in bed with her boss, it was a big part of why she had taken the job in New York, a fresh start. She hadn't expected to find the blonde attractive let alone feel butterflies at their brief moment of contact, taking a long swallow of her beer she tried to work out her feelings.

She was already nervous about starting a new job and moving to a new City and now she had spent an awkward five minute date with the woman who on Monday she was going to be working with. A women who probably thinks she's a stuttering, idiot who can't tell the time, what a great first impression. Swallowing the last of her drink she stood to leave deciding she could brood at home whilst she finished unpacking. Walking out side she could see the flashing lights of emergency vehicles and sent up a silent prayer that nobody had been seriously hurt before climbing into her car and heading back to her apartment.

* * *

Olivia Benson had just put her signature on her last report and was looking forward to a weekend with her girlfriend, standing she shrugged into her jacket groaning as the phone on her desk began to ring. She fought a quick silent battle with herself over whether or not to answer the it knowing there was a good chance it would lead to her staying at work, her sense of duty winning out dropping back into her chair she snatched up the received, "Special Victims Unit, Detective Benson speaking."

"Detective, it's Officer Carter, it's about your ADA, Alex Cabot, I'm afraid she's been involved in an accident."

"Where?"

"Corner of Third and Broadway."

"What happened?"

"Looks like a hit and run, we're waiting on CSU and witness statements."

"How bad is she hurt?" Asked Liv, trying to keep her voice steady despite her fear her friend had been badly hurt.

"She's unconscious, the bus is taking her to Mercy West...Detective it doesn't look good, EMT's are loading her into the bus now."

"I'll meet you there." Replied Olivia already dialing Elliott's number as she picked up her car keys and headed to the elevator. Explaining everything to Elliott, they decided he would head to the scene with Finn whilst she headed to the hospital, as she drove she was trying to work out what the hell had happened? She thought Alex was meant to be meeting Abbie's friend on a blind date, so how was she now in hospital fighting for her life.

Pulling up she headed inside flashing her badge at the receptionist and demanded someone come and give her an update, as she paced the corridor she called Serena and told her what had happened. Knowing Alex was like a sister to her lover she made her promise to take a cab, she didn't want her driving if she was upset, quickly calling Abbie and getting the same promise. She had just finished talking on the phone with Cragen who was collecting Alex's parents when Serena and Kim arrived, giving her girlfriend a tight hug she told them everything she knew as they waited in silence.

Abbie arrived next, closely followed by Alex's parents, Sophia and Alexander Cabot looked shell shocked as they sat shoulder to shoulder waiting for news on their only child. Forty minutes after Olivia's arrival they saw a man in scrubs walking towards them, "Family of Alexandra Cabot?"

"That's us." Replied Mr. Cabot, including everyone in the waiting room.

"I'm sorry to have to tell you that despite our best efforts, Alexandra never regained consciousness and succumbed to her injuries."

"No! Please no." Cried Sophia as she buried her head in in Serena's shoulder.

"I'm really am very sorry." Reiterated the doctor, sending them a sad smile as he slipped from the room.

The room was quiet as they each tried to process the news that one of their loved ones was gone for good, the only sounds the ticking if the clock and Serena and Sophia's quiet tears. The silence was broken by the vibration of Olivia's cell phone. Stepping out into the corridor she found a quiet alcove before answering, "Benson."

"Liv, it wasn't an accident the skid marks show it was deliberate; whoever hit her accelerated into her, eye witnesses say the driver swerved to make certain they struck her. How is she?"

"El...she didn't, Alex she...oh God El she's gone." Whispered Liv.

"Liv, I'm sorry."

"I know, I need to get back to Serena." Replied Liv before hanging up, taking a few deep breaths she headed back to her friends.

* * *

Saturday morning Abbie was woken from her restless slumber by a knock at the door, making sure Kim was still asleep she headed to answer it, a part of her hoping it was Alex coming to drag Kim shopping, but knowing it wouldn't be. Opening the door she forced a smile to her face, "Hey Case?"

"Hi, I saw the news, is it true?" Asked Casey, although she didn't need to asked the pain was clear on Abbie's face.

"Yeah." Replied Abbie as she opened the door wider to allow Casey inside.

"I'm so sorry, I know I only met her briefly but she seemed really nice and she was a hell of a prosecutor by all accounts. I wish I had the chance to get to know her better, you know a second chance at making a first impression."

"She was a hell of a friend as well, I really think the two of you would have gotten along." Replied Abbie.

"I'm sure she was, look I won't stay because I'm sure Kim needs you, just know I'm here if you need a friend." Replied Casey giving Abbie a warm hug.

"Thanks Case, see you Monday, maybe we can grab lunch or something, celebrate your new job."

As she headed back to her apartment Casey couldn't work out why she felt so retched, sure it was sad that someone had died, but she only met Alex once and that was only for a few minutes. Yet, even as she considered that information she couldn't shake the feeling that she had lost someone important, someone who would have been an integral part of her life, someone she would have liked to get to know, would have been proud to call a friend.

* * *

Spending the rest of the weekend unpacking she arrived in the office early Monday morning, she took a seat in the conference room next to Abbie, Kim and Serena as they waited for Elizabeth Donnelley to arrive and address the loss of one of their own.

"Casey, this is Serena Southerlyn she works homicide with me and this is Kim Greylek my girlfriend she's been bouncing between SVU and homicide." Introduced Abbie.

Reaching across to shake hands with the two attorneys, "It's nice to meet you both, I'm really sorry for your loss."

"Thanks, it's nice to meet you, Abbie told us all about you." Replied Serena.

"Don't believe any of it." Replied Casey with a small smile.

Silence fell as Liz walked in, it was clear to everyone present the usually stoic EADA was struggling to maintain her professional façade. Even Branch seemed rumpled as he addressed his staff, "Okay ladies and gentlemen, I won't insult your intelligence, news of Alexandra Cabot's death has been all over the news. It's with a heavy heart I confirm this and what's more confirm that it wasn't an accident, some...twisted puppy killed one of our own. We will find them and we will make them pay, in the mean time anyone who needs time off will be accommodated. Let's make Alex proud by maintaining the interiority and success of this office."

As everyone stood to go back to their offices Liz asked Casey, Abbie, Serena, Kim and Abbie to stay behind, "Casey, I know it's your first day...I'm sorry this is how you start with us. Kim I want you to work SVU with Casey for a while, at least until she finds her feet. I know you were all close to Alex and her parents have invited you all to the house tonight to help with the...help with the arrangements, you too Casey."

As their meeting was concluded Casey gave Abbie's shoulder a friendly squeeze before turning in the direction of her new office, her mind still on the blonde and the overwhelming sadness she felt at her loss. Walking into her office, she had to clamp a hand over her mouth to stifle a scream as she saw someone sitting behind her desk, "A-Alex?"

"What are you doing in my office?" Demanded the blonde a confused look on her face.

Digging the heels of her hands into her eyes, Casey slowly opened them again, "We...just had a meeting...you're supposed to be dead."

"What?"

"You were hit by a car and now you're dead, so...what are you doing here?"

"Oh…wait…I'm dead?!"

Blinking again Casey opened her eyes to an empty office before collapsing down on the couch where she tried to calm her breathing, "What the hell was that?"

**Yes, yes, we know, we've done it again. But we love you guys! Don't forget that! From the bottom of our deep dark cliffy writing tear jerking hearts. xxHistoryPrincess ;)**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Glad you all are enjoying! Thanks so much! **

"What is this about?" Olivia asks the suited man with genuine confusion as she follows him down the vacant hallway of the hospital. "Your boss couldn't have at least been a little bit more specific on the phone?"

"I'm sorry Detective, but that is all she could inform you of in case there were listeners." The man replies as they step onto an elevator lift. He swipes his badge against a panel on the door, before he presses a number which immediately causes the lift to begin it's slow decent. Why had she never noticed this elevator before?

"Now we're in a small metal box going god knows where. The least you could do is tell me where we're going and why." The irritated detective responds as she is on the brink of losing all of the patience that she has left. "Look, I think considering I just lost one of my closet friends and work colleagues that you are being extremely inconsiderate. There are about a thousand other places doing about a thousand other things that I would rather be or be doing right now and riding in an unknown elevator to some unknown location for some unknown reason is not any of those places or things."

Sighing quietly, the man shakes his head, trying not to cower under the officer's intense glare. "I apologize for any inconvenience Detective Benson, but-"

"Any inconvenience? Do you even know the meaning of the word?" Olivia bites back, just as the lift slows to a stop and the door slides open. "Well go ahead. Lead the way. You might as well since you've got me down here."

The man nearly trips over his own feet as he scrambles out of the elevator with the angry woman in tow. He had been warned about the detective and her potential to have a short fuse at the moment, but he can't exactly blame her for the events that have recently transpired. The two come to what appears to be a vacant waiting room where several more men and women in suits are lulling about. It is then that they are approached by a tall redhead who immediately extends her hand towards the glaring detective.

"Detective Benson, Sarah Krieger, US Marshall. I believe that we spoke on the phone?" the woman inquires after introducing herself.

"We did." Olivia responds, hesitantly responding to the handshake as she sizes up the other woman. "You said you're with the US Marshalls…would you care to explain what this is about?"

"Let's walk and talk." Sarah responds, nodding to the man before she spins on her heel, motioning for Olivia to follow. "I was quite surprised that you were able to get here so quickly after my phone call."

Olivia suppresses the urge to roll her eyes as she shrugs in a seemingly nonchalant manner. "Yeah well, I was on my way home from the station when I got your call. I need to pick up my girlfriend to take her over to Alex's parents' to talk about funeral arrangements. Speaking of which, can whatever this is not take long? Serena is upset enough as it is after losing her best friend and I don't need me being late added to her plate."

The Marshall nods her head, scanning her badge against a glass door that leads them into another hallway. "I can assure you that it will not take long." She responds as their footsteps bounces off of the floors and the walls around them. She slows to a stop in front of a door guarded by two burly men, nodding to each of them as she moves past and reaches for the handle. "I am sure that what I am about to show you will make up for your lost time."

Olivia simply quirks an eyebrow in response before she obliges to the woman's come hither motion as she enters the room. Upon entering the room, it takes her eyes a moment to adjust to the dim lighting of the room, but immediately her eyes are drawn to the still figure hooked up to many machines in the hospital bed.

"Is that…?"

"It is." Sarah responds with a firm head nod.

"The surgeon said she was dead." Olivia nearly whispers as she moves around the bed to get a better look at the blonde. Her face is bruised, her eyes are shut, and she has a few stitches, but there is no mistaking that this is Alex. "Start talking Krieger."

"Knowing that Miss Cabot's accident was really an act of attempted murder puts her in a high risk of danger." The Marshall responds professionally. "We see that it is best, until her assumed killer is detained, that she be kept under surveillance. If she wakes up any time soon, then she will assume a new identity and moved to a new location until further notice. Until then, she will remain here under twenty four hour watch. All of which you will be informed about if necessary."

Olivia gently strokes Alex's still hand before looking back up at the redhead eyeing her closely. "Have you told her parents?"

A look of sadness passes over Sarah's face before it's gone and she shakes her head in the negative. "Unfortunately, you are the only person that knows and will ever know this valuable piece of information until Miss Cabot's killer is found and caught."

"What?! Are you kidding me right now? You have to tell her parents! Look, you don't understand, she's an only child and her parents think they lost the one thing that means to most to them. You have to tell them she's alive."

"The less people that know about this, the lesser chance there is that whoever this is will strike again. It is now my job to make sure Miss Cabot and anyone in her immediate circle stays safe though it will be against her knowledge. Alerting her family of her condition will put them in immediate danger. You are here as an SVU Detective, not her friend. Do you understand that, Detective Benson?"

Olivia purses her lips tightly as she allows her eyes to drift back to her friend. As much as she would like to be happy that Alex is alive, it still kills her that she can't let anyone else know about it. "You swear to keep me updated on her condition?" she asks, her voice small as she mentally swears against the position she's just been put into.

"You have my word." Sarah responds with a firm nod before her face and voice soften completely. "Olivia, I understand that this is going to be a very tough time for all of you, but in this instance, you have to think about the others. No one else can find out about this."

"I understand." The detective murmurs quietly. "I should really get going. I just don't know how I'm going to sit through listening to her parents plan her funeral when I know that she's being hid out in a maximum security ward that no one even knew existed."

"These types of things are never easy for anyone. I wish you the best of luck."

"Thanks…I'll need it."

* * *

"Are you sure you don't want to come with us?" Abbie asks for probably the hundredth time. "You are more than welcome to come."

"Abbie, I knew her for five minutes, I highly doubt that means we built any kind of relationship." Casey responds, as she nervously begins looking over her shoulder for anything that seems out of the ordinary, despite the fact that she has told herself numerous times that it was simply her lack of sleep and everyone's grief that was getting to her.

Picking up on her friend's nerves, Abbie raises an eyebrow before tilting her head skeptically. "Are you alright? You seem pretty spooked about something."

_'Spooked. What a poor choice of words.'_ Casey thinks to herself as she shakes her head and puts on a nervous smile. "No! Yes. I mean, yes, everything's fine. Why wouldn't it be?"

Abbie is about to respond to the question when she feels a hand on her back and she looks over to meet the distant eyes of her girlfriend. "Hey. Are you ready to go?"

"Yeah. We better get going if we want to be there on time." Kim responds calmly before poking her head into Casey's office, frowning slightly when she sees the redhead still seated at her desk with a stream of papers spread across the top. "Casey, what're you still doing here? You could've gone home an hour ago."

"Well, yeah, but I just wanted to stay and get a little extra work done, you know, get rid of the first day jitters and all." The redhead responds with another nervous chuckle. "You two go ahead, I'll be fine here."

"Casey go home." Kim gently tries again. "I don't want you to overwork yourself on your first day."

"No, trust me, I'm totally fine." Casey responds, looking towards her acting supervisor. "Do you have any work that you need me to do?"

"Yes, Casey. Go home." Kim tries for a third time as a sad smile graces her lips. "And as your acting supervisor, that's an order."

Seeing there's no winning this argument, Casey admits defeat as she nods her head. "Yes Ma'am." She responds with a chuckle. Waving and wishing the couple a goodnight as she stands from her chair and begins to gather her things.

"You haven't even been here a week and you've already managed to make a mess of my desk." A cool voice says out of nowhere, causing Casey to shriek and drop her briefcase.

The redhead crouches down to pick up her briefcase, slowly peering over the edge of her desk, her eyes widening further when she spots the familiar blonde woman perched eloquently on the edge of the couch in her finally pressed suit and not a hair out of place.

"Well what are you hiding for? I don't bite." Alex supplies with a small smirk tugging at the corner of her lips.

"Of course not. Because you're dead." Casey responds before she groans and presses a hand to her face. "I must be losing my mind. My first day and I'm already fit to not do this job. My blind date was a waste and now I'm seeing a dead woman. Welcome to New York, Novak…"

"Why do you keep telling me I'm dead?" Alex asks as she stands up and begins to pace, her heels clacking soundly against the hardwood flooring. "You can see me, I can see you, you're here in my office. I'm not dead."

"No, you're dead. It was all over the news." Casey begins, groaning again as she sinks down onto the sofa and lets her head thump against the back. "You were hit by a car and you died at the hospital. You're dead."

"Well that's just ridiculous." Alex responds, crossing her arms as a look of annoyance forms on her face. "Is this your idea of a joke because that disaster Abigail called a date went south of nowhere?"

Casey sighs quietly, mumbling under her breath about not getting enough sleep as she rummages through her briefcase. A few moments later, she pulls out a newspaper and holds it up for the blonde attorney to read the front page.

Alex's eyes narrow behind her glasses before her mouth forms a perfect 'O' shape and she snatches the paper away from the silent woman. "Manhattan District Attorney's office mourns the loss of Assistant District Attorney Alexandra Cabot…Casey! You have to tell them that I'm not dead and that this is a mistake!"

"I'm losing my mind." Casey mumbles, to herself before standing and sighing heavily. "I'm seeing dead people. I'm talking to a dead woman. This is all in my head…Yes, that's it. I'm imagining this. This is all in my head and I just need to go home."

"Casey if you walk out that door I'm just going to follow you home." Alex demands, stomping her foot when the redhead simply shakes her head, continuing to mumble to herself as she shuts out the lights and closes the door behind her. Alex huffs quietly before tossing down the ridiculous lie about her being dead. Honestly, who would think of such a thing?

* * *

"Mrs. Cabot, you didn't have to cook for us." Abbie says, giving the older woman a small smile as she sets a tray of food down on the coffee table.

"Nonsense. You're guests and it's only proper that I treat you as such." Sophia responds, a sad shaky smile tugging at her lips. "And please Abigail. None of this Mrs. Cabot business. Call me Sophia."

"We're really sorry for your loss, Sophia." Kim says, speaking up for the first time that evening. "Alex was a dear friend to all of us, but we can't even begin to imagine what you must be going through right now."

Despite the tears stinging her eyes, Sophia manages to smile once again. "Alex would be proud that all of you are being so strong for her." She explains, stopping at Serena specifically as she places a trembling hand on the blonde's shoulder. "Serena, honey, can I speak with you in the kitchen?"

"Of course." Serena responds, taking a deep breath as she stands from the sofa and follows the older woman into the kitchen. "Yes Ma'am?"

"I don't know how I'm going to do it." Sophia begins, her voice cracking with emotion as tears begin running down her cheeks. "You're never supposed to outlive your child. Alexander and I…we tried so many times to have a child. It took us seven tries before we were about to give up and adopt, but the seventh time I found out I was pregnant with Alex. I felt that it would only be fit that we name her after her father. Oh god, I can't believe she's gone."

"I don't think it's quite sunk in for the rest of us." Serena whispers, with a sad nod. "But you know Alex wouldn't want us mourning her for too long."

Sophia nods as well before reaching into her apron pocket to produce a handkerchief. "No she wouldn't. She always hated to see someone else cry." She chuckles sadly before taking a deep breath. "The reason I asked to speak with you privately is because I would like for you to speak first and give Alexandra's eulogy at her funeral."

Serena's mouth falls open in shock and she stammers with her words for a moment before coming up with what she wants to say. "Sophia, I—I don't know what to say."

"You were like a sister to her, Serena. It's what she would want." Sophia encourages, giving the younger woman's hand a firm squeeze.

"I would be honored." Serena responds with a nod, sharing a few more words with Alex's mother before they head back into the living room. Serena frowns deeply when she spots her lover sitting on the edge of the couch with her hands clasped tightly together as she stares intently at the floor; a position that she's been in ever since they arrived almost forty five minutes ago. "Baby, are you alright? You haven't said two words since we got here."

Olivia rapidly, falling out of her own thoughts as she turns to the concerned pair of blue eyes on her. "Huh? Oh yeah, I'm fine…" she mumbles, returning her heavy gaze to the floor before shaking her head. "I'm fine…"

**Hm….leave your thoughts? **


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Have your tissues on standby. I know that I did. Hope you enjoy. **

Arriving home from work Casey kicked off her heels and padded towards the kitchen throwing her briefcase on the pile of boxes that were serving as a dining table. Taking a bottle of wine out of the fridge, she poured a large glass and took a grateful mouthful before setting it down and fixing a plate of the take out she had picked up on her way home. Popping a forkful of noodles into her mouth, she headed into her lounge hitting play on her answer phone, rolling her eyes at the message from her mother berating her for not calling and giving a sad sigh at the groveling message from Jennifer.

Flicking the TV on she are as she listen to the local news, her heart clenching painfully as Alex's name and picture came up. Finishing her dinner she refilled her glass and curled up on the couch switching on Sports Center where she has just taken a sip of wine when she heard a familiar voice.

"So this is your apartment, I like what you've done with the place. The boxes give it a down town, vagabond feeling."

Chocking on her drink she jumped to her feet and turned to the blonde sitting in the armchair, who was looking bore. Wiping the wine off her chin Casey asked, "What the hell! You're dead; why are you following me? You don't even like me. This can't be real, I'm hallucinating. Maybe it's a tumor. Yes that it it's a tumor."

"Do you always ramble like that?" Asked Alex with a raised eyebrow.

"Do you always haunt people you met for less than half an hour?"

"I'm not haunting you, would you stop saying that? This is ridiculous, is this all because I left our attempt at a 'date'?" Asked Alex using her fingers to make air quotes.

Picking up the TV remote Casey flicked the local news station back on, just as they re-ran the story of Alex's death. "See, I'm not making it up, it's on the damn news."

"But…but how can you see me if I'm dead?" Asked Alex in her best cross-examination voice.

"Because I'm crazy." Muttered Casey, slumping back down on the sofa.

"But I can't be dead; there are still things I have to do." Replied Alex her face a mask of fear and confusion.

"I really wish you hadn't died." Replied Casey as they sat in silence for a few minutes, "How did you find me?"

"I-I don't know. I was thinking about you and the next thing I knew I was here."

"You were thinking about me?" Asked Casey unsure why that thought gave her butterflies.

"Don't flatter yourself. I was thinking about this crazy story you concocted about me being dead." Replied Alex, thinking how unfair it was that she was blushing if she was indeed dead.

"I didn't concoct the damn story! You. Are. Dead!" Yelled Casey, just as there was a knock on her door.

Casting a look at the now empty armchair she took a deep breath and went to answer the door. Checking the peephole she saw a frowning Abbie on the other side and she opened it with a small smile, "Hi"

"You okay? Is this a bad time?" Asked Abbie craning her neck to try and see inside Casey's apartment.

"I'm fine, come in." Replied Casey stepping aside and allowing Abbie into her apartment, "Coffee? Wine?

"No, I can't stay. It sounded like you were shouting." Replied Abbie as she studied her friend.

"Oh...I was on the phone." Lied Casey, "I thought you were at Alex's parents making arrangements?"

"I was, I just wanted to come and check in on you, you seemed...a little off earlier."

"Oh, no I'm fine. It's not been the easiest first day in a new job."

"You think _you're_ having a bad day?" Grumbled the blonde who had reappeared and was lounging in Casey's armchair.

"Really, can't you just leave me alone?" Grumbled Casey shooting Alex a glare.

"Um Case?" Asked Abbie shooting a worried glance at her friend.

"Sorry, guess I'm over tired." Replied Casey forcing a small smile to her face.

"Sure. I'll let you get some sleep then." Replied Abbie a small frown on her face.

"You do realize she probably thinks you're crazy, right?" Asked Alex a smirk clear in her voice.

"whose fault is that." Relied Casey through gritted teeth.

"Um Case, did you say something?" Asked Abbie as they reached the door.

"No, probably the neighbors TV or something." Replied Casey.

"Oh, okay. I'll see you tomorrow then. Oh and Alex's parents wanted me to tell you they would like to meet you."

"Why?"

"Probably want to make sure you don't ruin all my hard work." Snarked Alex.

"Guess they want to meet the person who last saw their daughter alive." Replied Abbie in a soft voice.

"I wish she hadn't left or she had let me drive her." Replied Casey.

"Case, it was deliberate someone came after her for a reason, there was nothing you could have done." Replied Abbie in a rare display of emotion before she pulled Casey in for a warm hug. "I should get back to Kim. Take care Case."

"You too Abbs and take care of Kim." Replied Casey watching until her friend was in the elevator.

"I really am dead, aren't I?" Asked Alex.

"I'm so sorry." Whispered Casey, unsurprised to find she was alone.

Heading into her bedroom Casey took a long shower and climbed into bed As she settled against the pillows she tried to focus on the book she was reading only to give up when she realized her mind was still on the deceased blonde. Casey didn't believe in ghosts, so why the hell was she the only one who could see Alex? It's not like they were even close? Surely she should be haunting Serena or Kim? She thought this over until she finally fell asleep in the early hours of the morning.

* * *

The rest of the week passed without incident and Casey was starting to think she had hallucinated the whole thing, having not seen Alex since Abbie's visit at the beginning of the week. Arriving home Friday evening Casey decided on a long shower before an early night. The following day was Alex's funeral and her parents were deciding to hold it on a Saturday so Alex's colleagues could attend.

Stepping out of the shower she dried off before wrapping a towel around herself and padded into her bedroom, almost screaming as she saw the blonde reclined on her bed."Jesus!"

"Nope, just me." Smiled Alex.

"I'm naked." Stuttered Casey.

"I'm a ghost." Countered Alex.

"You-you didn't watch me in the shower, did you?" Asked Casey.

"As if I have nothing better to do than stalk you." Smirked Alex, "Nice tattoo by the way."

"What! You looked?" Demanded Casey.

Raising an eyebrow Alex just smirked, before she sobered, "It's my funeral tomorrow."

"Yes."

"Are you going?"

"Yes, are you?" Suddenly the absurdity of the question hit Casey and she started to laugh, "I'm sorry."

"It's okay; it's a strange conversation to be having."

"Why me?" Asked Casey sitting on the bed.

"I don't know, no one else can see me or hear me."

"I'm sorry this happened to you."

"So am I." Whispered Alex before she disappeared leaving Casey sitting alone with just the lingering scent of her perfume.

* * *

Arriving at the small church the following day Casey waved at Abbie and Kim before slipping into a pew at the back of the packed church. As she looked around she could see several judges, attorneys and police officers of all ranks. Clearly Alex was well liked and respected.

"Good turn out." Came a voice from her left making her jump.

"Seriously? Can you not just sit _quietly_?" Hissed Casey.

"It's my funeral I can talk if I want to." Replied Alex, "But, if it makes it easier for you, I'll be quiet."

"Thank you." Whispered Casey, turning her attention to the minister who had started to talk about Alex.

Serena tried desperately to focus on the minister's words and held back her tears not wanting to look a mess when she stood up to give the eulogy. She was so lost in her own thoughts it was all too soon that her name was being called. Standing she gave Olivia's hand a tight squeeze before walking towards the podium and as she passed the coffin holding her best friend she almost lost the battle to hold back her tears.

As she stepped up to the podium, she swallowed several times before her voice would work, "I could tell you how much Alex touched the lives of those she met, or how dedicated to her job she was or how much I love her and will miss her every day, but you know all of that. Instead, I want to tell you the story of the time in law school we raided Alexander's liquor cabinet and got a little tipsy."

"Oh God she's telling _this_ story." Drawled a voice in Casey's ear as Serena paused to gain control of her emotions.

"I thought we agreed you wouldn't say a word." Hissed Casey out the side of her mouth, sending an apologetic smile to the woman in front of her.

"I might die of embarrassment if she tells this story, do something."

"I hate to be crass..."

"Screw you."

"The first time I met Alex it was the week before my fifth Birthday. Alex was five years, three weeks and one day older than me; things like that are important when you're five. Alex's parents were throwing some big party and as we were around the same age, we were thrown together. I thought Alex was the smartest person I'd ever met as she knew so much more that I did. She had this way of seeming so knowledgeable and we have been friends ever since."

"Anyway, we came home from law school one Easter and as Alex's parents were away decided it would be a good idea to break out the good stuff, which turned out to be a lot stronger than we were used to. A few hours, a bottle of thousand dollar scotch and a large cheese and chocolate pizza later, Alex suddenly starts 'recreating' the moves from the Karate Kid and does this jump kick putting her foot through the door panel."

Waiting for the ripple of laughter to die down she continued, "Her foot gets stuck and in what I can only describe as a brilliant idea, Alex decides to put her other foot through to make the hole bigger. Needless to say it didn't work and we had to call the fire department to come and free her. She ended up with a broken right ankle and her first ever hangover. It's memories like that I will forever treasure."

"Alex was like my big sister, my best friend, my idol and I don't know how I'm going to manage without her." Blinking back her tears Serena rested her hand on Alex's coffin before embracing Sophie and taking her seat next to Olivia, the feeling of her girlfriend's arms around her dissolving the last of her resolve.

After Branch and the Chief of Police said a few words Alexander Cabot stepped up, his hand lingering in his daughter's coffin as he bowed his head in silence as if saying his own private goodbye. Out of the corner of her eye Casey could see the look of sadness on Alex's face and she so desperately wished there was some way she could offer her some comfort.

"When my daughter was five, I took her to see Santa at the mall and as she sat on his lap he asked her what she wanted for Christmas. Alex looked him in the eye and told him to take her presents to the children in the local children's home. In that moment I knew my daughter was someone special. That Christmas Eve we took boxes of toys, books and clothes to the home and a tradition was born and it was something she did every Christmas Eve. She was a hell of a woman and we couldn't be prouder to call her our daughter and her loss is something I don't think we will ever come to terms with…I'm sorry, I can't." Taking several breaths he stepped down as he walked to his seat he kept his eyes from falling on the coffin.

Kim was the last to speak, her stoic mask firmly in place as she stepped behind the podium, "When my mother died a few years ago, Alex told me of an Eskimo Proverb she has heard once and thought was a beautiful sentiment,  
_'Perhaps they are not the stars,__  
__But rather openings in heaven where__  
__The love of our lost ones pours through__  
__And shines down upon us to let us know they are happy.'__  
_The stars will shine brighter now that Alex's love has joined their ranks. She will be missed not only as a prosecutor, but as a daughter, a friend and as someone who dedicated their life to seeking justice for those wronged. I'm proud to call Alex my friend and I will try to live my life in the example she set."

Looking to her left Casey wasn't surprised to find Alex had disappeared. As she bowed her head in silent contemplation, she prayed for Alex's parents, for those Alex had touched as a person, a prosecutor and a friend. Lastly, she prayed for the blonde, asking that wherever she was she found the peace she deserved.

The wake was a quiet affair, groups of people sharing stories, the occasional moment of laughter rippling through the room. As she nurses a glass of wine and made small talk with the detectives from SVU, she felt a small tap on the shoulder.

"Mr. Cabot, I'm sorry for your loss, I know that doesn't mean a lot coming from me but...I'm sorry if I'm rambling."

"Thank you, Miss Novak. Please, walk with me?"

"Of course Sir." Putting her glass down she followed the man into the lightly falling drizzle shivering as her suit jacket offered little protection to the New York weather.

"I'm sure you're confused as to why I wanted to speak to you?" Giving a mall nod Casey let him continue, "I want you to promise me something and while it might seem unfair of me to ask, nothing about today is fair so..."

"Sir, please if there is anything I can do to help ease your pain even a little I will be more than happy to help."

"The bastard who killed my daughter, when they catch him promise me you'll make him pay?"

"I promise." Replied Casey aware of Alex's presence.

"Tell him…tell him I was proud to be his daughter, that I was a good person because of his example. Tell him I love him." Alex whispered, her voice nearly breaking as she spoke.

"Sir, I only met Alex once but she told me she was proud to be your daughter. She told me that she was the person she was because of you and your wife and the example you set for her."

"Thank you." Whispered Alexander his voice rough, "I should get back to my wife." Holding his hand out to Casey he added, "Thank you for coming today, Alex would have liked you."

Once she was alone Casey waited until Alex was next to her, "Guess he was wrong about you liking me."

"No, no he wasn't." Whispered Alex.

Before she could reply Casey realized she was alone. Collecting her purse she headed for home her sadness overwhelming her as she climbed into bed that night.

* * *

Casey spent all of Monday in court, walking into her office that afternoon Casey was looking forward to going home and having a hot bath. Walking in she flicked on the light and almost screamed out loud at the paper spread across the floor and the blonde sitting into the middle of the chaos.

"A-Alex?" Asked Casey quickly closing the door in case anyone walked by and saw the mess.

"I need to know who did this to me. I need to know who caused all this sadness."

"We're looking, I promise we will find them and make them pay."

"I watched my friends cry, my mother cry, hell even my father cried. Casey, my _father_ _cried_! I've never seen him cry; not when his parents died, not when his brother died, not even when he broke his collar bone. Please you have to help me find out who did this to me."

"Tell me where to start." Replied Casey.

"Thank you." Replied Alex.

**Leave your thoughts? **


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Sorry for the delay. Hope you all enjoy this chapter :)**

By midnight Casey's eyes were starting to burn from the constant reading and the stress of the day. Rubbing them, she pulled another file towards her and started to read, only to give up after the first ten pages when the words start to float from the page. Looking across the room she could see the blonde had given up reading and was staring out of the window with obvious sadness radiating from her.

"You okay?"

"I'm dead…All the plans I had, all the things I wanted to do are over. My friends and family are upset and the only person who can still see me is you. Tell me which part of that sounds _'okay'_ to you?" Replied Alex not turning from her spot staring out of the window.

"Sorry...I just, I'm sorry." Replied Casey, standing and stretching, "I think I'm going to head home, start fresh in the morning." Looking down at her watch she grimaced, "Or later today as the case is."

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to sound so bitter."

"You have every right to be bitter, but I promise you I will do everything I can to find out who did this to you and I will make them pay." Walking across the room she raised her hand to rest it on the other woman's shoulder in a gesture of support only to stop herself at the last minute as she remembered she was in fact dead. "I should go and set some sleep. You want to come with me?"

"No, I'm going to stay here. I feel at home here; how sad is that?" Replied Alex.

"Okay...I don't really know what to say." Admitted Casey.

"It's fine." Replied the blonde still staring out of the window.

"Okay then." Muttered Casey walking to the door, only to be halted by Alex's voice.

"Casey, I'm sorry. I'm sorry you have been dragged into this mess, I'm sorry it's made starting a new job a nightmare and I'm sorry I sounded like a bitch just then. But…but I'm not sorry you can see me. I appreciate everything you've done for me so far. Now go home and get some sleep, you have your first appearance in front of Petrovsky tomorrow; trust me you want to be rested for that, she likes testing new ADAs."

"Thanks for the advice. Goodnight Alex."

"Goodnight Casey."

Once she was alone Alex paced the familiar floor of her office, searching her mind for anything that could help find the person responsible for her death but everything was so fuzzy, everything apart from Casey that was. The night she had met Casey she wished she had been kinder and given the beautiful redhead a chance; maybe Abbie was onto something fixing them up. Casey was certainly beautiful and as Alex had later found out, kind, smart, compassionate, with a wicked sense of humor. Sitting in Casey's chair, she pulled the picture frame Casey kept on her desk towards her. As she did do she pondered her ability to move things even as a 'ghost', shaking her head to clear it she refocused on the picture.

Casey looked to be about sixteen, she was wearing some sort of sports uniform, her hair slicked back with sweat a wide smile on her face. She was standing with her arms around the waist of an older couple, Alex jumped when she heard Casey's voice.

"My parents the day my high-school softball team won the state championship." The redhead explained quietly.

"You made me jump, quite an achievement considering I'm the ghoul." Replied Alex with a small smile.

"You're not a ghoul." Replied Casey in a soft voice before dropping down on the sofa.

"Thank you. What are you doing here?"

"I work here." Smiled Casey, "I got all the way to the car before realized I didn't want to leave you here alone, so I came back."

"You really are a good person, but you need to rest."

"I can nap on the couch. I have fresh clothes and a toothbrush in my gym bag." explained Casey.

"That's sweet but..."

Cutting her off Casey asked, "Tell me about those things you wanted to do?"

"What's to stop me disappearing and forcing you to go home?"

"It's one night." Replied Casey, "Humor me."

"Fine, one night. I always wanted to visit Paris, go skydiving, I wanted to read all the Harry Potter books..."

"You mean you haven't?"

"No, I could never find the time. Just like I could never find the time to visit my parents for more than a quick dinner once a month or go shopping with Kim and Serena, or date someone who might actually have been something special. Guess I'll never get married, have children or get a tattoo."

"A tattoo?" Asked Casey with a chuckle, "I can't imagine Alexandra Cabot would get inked."

"Why? You and Abbie have one, how do you think I really knew about the tattoo?" Smirked Alex.

Blushing Casey changed the subject, "So sky diving?"

"Oh no Novak, I want to know the story behind the ink? You heard one of my most embarrassing moments...at my funeral no less! So, you owe me."

"Urgh, okay, fine. First off it was all Abbie's fault."

"No surprise there." Laughed Alex.

"Right? So anyway, we were in college and Abbie liked this girl, Lisa who worked in the library. She was the archetypal geek who had no interest in Abbie who, of course, was a bit of a jock. So after one or five drinks Abbie decided to challenge her. If she could hit one, just one of Abbie's pitches out of six then me and Abbie would have to do a forfeit of her choosing if she missed she had to go on one date with Abbie. To this day I still don't know how I got dragged into it, but I found myself in the dark at the batting cages, watching a drunken Abbie throw what I can only describe as weak assed pitches. On the very last throw Lisa cracked the ball sending it flying. You should have seen the look on Abbie's face."

Pausing to get control of her laughter Casey continued, "The next thing I know I'm in a tattoo parlor getting an owl tattooed on my ass."

Laughing Alex asked, "Did Abbie ever get a date with her?"

"No. But I did." Laughed Casey, before giving a small yawn.

"You should sleep."

Nodding Casey kicked off her shoes and picked up her gym bag, "I'm just going to go brush my teeth."

"Casey, thank you." Called Alex.

"For what?"

"As ironic as this might sound, tonight you've made me feel more alive than I have in a long time."

"Anytime." Smiled Casey closing the door. Returning from the bathroom ten minutes later Casey was disappointed to find she was alone. Curling up on the couch she pulled her jacket over her Casey whispered a soft, "Goodnight Alex." to the air, before closing her eyes, the stress of the day quickly catching up with her as she drifted off to sleep.

Coming back into the office, Alex spent a few minutes watching Casey sleep. Without conscious thought she walked to the couch and leaned down, pressing her lips against Casey's in a whisper of a kiss, before she curled up in the seat by Casey's desk content to watch the redhead as she slept.

* * *

Waking up the following morning Casey stretched as her dream from the night before came into her mind. She had dreamed Alex had kissed her; a soft fleeting kiss. It had felt so real she found herself hoping it was real.

Standing up she took advantage of what she hoped was an empty office and slipped into her clean suit before heading out. Head to the coffee shop opposite she bought coffee and two cherry pastries, knowing they were Kim's favorite before heading back to the office knowing Kim liked to arrive early.

Taking a deep breath she knocked lightly on the brunette's door, hearing a curt 'come in.' She opened the door giving Kim a small smile as she held up the coffee, "Hi, I come bearing gifts."

"Gifts or bribes?" Asked Kim with a raised eyebrow.

"A little of both." Admitted Casey.

Taking a sip of the coffee Kim asked, "What's up?"

"I was wondering about Alex's case, if there was any new information. The squad treats me like I personally killed Alex, especially Olivia..."

"I'm not your babysitter." Snapped Kim.

"I don't want a babysitter but I can't do my job if you all keep excluding me." Replied Casey, her tone just as harsh.

"Then why are you in here whining rather than preparing for court? I can't keep holding your hand."

"Seriously! I've been here a week and in that time, you've come to court with me twice! I'm doing my best; I'm sorry that's not good enough for you." Snapped Casey.

"A week is long enough to find your feet…"

"Yeah, it is if your two best friends have the offices opposite of yours and the woman that you're screwing is right down the hall!"

"Screw you!" Yelled Kim rising from her desk leaning on her hands where she fixed Casey with a sharp glare, "How dare you…"

"No, how dare you. I'm trying my best to prove myself and I'm hitting a brick wall at every damn turn! You think it's easy having the dead woman's office, especially when that woman is _the_ Alexandra Cabot?" Yelled Casey, her breathing ragged.

Sighing Kim shook her head and flopped down in her chair, "I'm sorry Casey; none of us are being fair to you. We've all been so wrapped up in our grief we haven't...Alex was this amazing attorney, she commanded the court room, connected with the victims and, and I can't do this...I can't be Alex." Whispered Kim putting her head in her hands.

"Tell her not to try and be me. She's an amazing attorney in her own right." Came a small voice from next to Casey.

"Kim...don't try to be Alex just be you. Abbie is always bragging about how great you are and I've seen you in action; you're pretty commanding yourself." Replied Casey, "Maybe you should take some time off. I promise not to destroy the unit while you're gone." Suggested Casey in a gentle voice.

"Maybe…Look I'm sorry, can we try this conversation again?" Asked Kim.

"Sure, as long as you promise not to tell Abbie...I'd hate to get my ass kicked by an angry Texan this early in the week." Replied Casey offering Kim a warm smile.

"Deal." Smiled Kim.

"So Alex's case?"

"There was a case a few months ago; Edward Cant. He was suspected of human trafficking, prostitution, making child porn, drugs and the murder of several witnesses and a police officer. Anyway, Alex took it to trial and she was doing okay until key evidence was 'mislabeled.' And the judge threw it out. Alex took it personally and was ordered to hand it over to the Feds, but knowing Alex the way I do, I can guarantee that didn't happen. He is the prime suspect, but unsurprisingly given his reach and friends in high places he is untouchable and all the original files have been lost."

"No they haven't." Alex cut in. "Casey taped to the underside of my bottom left hand desk draw is a flash drive; it has the whole case on it and other stuff I collected."

"It was her bottom draw case." Whispered Casey, "Give me five minutes, I found something that might be useful."

Rushing back into her office Casey carefully lifted the draw out finding the flash drive before she headed back to Kim's office, almost colliding with Olivia Benson as she did so, "Sorry Detective."

"Where's the fire Counselor?"

"No fire, I found something that might help with Alex's case if you're interested?" Replied Casey, already moving back towards Kim's office.

"What information?" Asked Liv having to almost jog to keep up with the redheads long strides.

"A flash drive, tapped under a draw."

"How did you find it? How do you know it's important? It could be her holiday photos." Asked Liv, almost knocking the attorney to the floor when she came to a complete halt.

"Sorry." Muttered Casey, her mind racing as she tried to find a believable way of explaining how she knew about the flash drive. She didn't think, 'I can see your dead friend' would fly with the stoic detective. "I found it when I was organizing the office. It might be holiday pictures but it's got to be worth a look?"

"Right." Replied Liv.

Arriving at Kim's office they plugged in the flash drive and crowded around Kim's laptop, "It's password protected." Sighed Kim.

"TARU might be able to crack it." Offered Liv reaching for the stick.

"Casey, the password is Wendy1903." Whispered Alex, her close proximity making the hairs on the back of Casey's neck stand up as her dream about the kiss popped into her mind once more. "Focus." Barked Alex seeing the slightly glazed expression on Casey's face.

Giving herself a mental shake Casey ordered, "Try Wendy1903."

"Wendy1903?" Asked Kim with a raised eyebrow.

"Um...I found a Wendy in her address book with the number 1903 written under it. Worth a try right?" Seeing the two brunettes exchange a look Casey tried again, "Alex seemed smart, she'd have had a contingency plan in place."

"Try it." Replied Liv, studying the redhead intently as Kim typed in the password. She could tell Casey was hiding something, she just wasn't sure what.

"We're in." Called Kim, "Wow, she was adding to this right up to the day before the accident."

"Click that one." Ordered Liv pointing to a folder labels, 'Lost Boys.'

"Anyone else sense a Peter Pan theme?" Muttered Kim as file opened to reveal a long list of names of those associated with Cant's operations.

Scanning the list Olivia's eyes went wide when she saw a familiar name on the list and ordered, "Email that to me, now."

"Liv?"

"I have to go." Replied the detective taking off at a sprint, leaving three confused attorneys in her wake.

**Leave your thoughts? **


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Chapter for you! Hope you enjoy. **

"Detective, this is a surprise." One of the deputies guarding the restricted waiting room speaks up with confusion. "How did you get clearance?"

"A threat." The brunette grumbles in response, nodding over her shoulder to the petrified deputy who is still pressed into the corner of the elevator with wide, fearful eyes. She approaches the other marshal, grabbing him by the collar of his shirt. "Where's your boss?"

"I—In Miss Cabot's room. She-ack-she keeps personal watch." The deputy croaks out as the detective's hold on his tie tightens. "She should be there now."

Olivia rolls her eyes before releasing her hold on the man's tie. "Right, personal watch." She mutters, shoving him to the side before all but sprinting down the familiar hallway. Pushing through doors, she comes to a stop in front of the guarded door where she isn't surprised that the two men outside wish to hinder her entrance.

"Miss, access is restricted at this time." The taller of the two men exclaims. "You can't go in there."

"The hell I can't." Olivia retorts, shoving the man to the side before she forces her way into the room. Upon entering she spots the woman she's looking for seated in a chair next to Alex's bed as she flips through a magazine. "Stand up, Krieger."

"I'm surprised that you're here without my request." Sarah responds with a small smile as she closes her magazine and stands up, shoving her hands into the pockets of her jacket. "What can I do for you, Detective?"

"You can start talking." Olivia demands before she reaches into her coat pocket and pulls out a mug shot photo. "You recognize him?"

Sarah's jaw clenches tightly as her eyes glue themselves to the photo. "I have never seen that man before in my life." She responds tightly, though her eyes don't tear themselves away from the picture.

Olivia snorts and shakes her head before she grabs the woman by her shirt and presses her against the nearest wall before shoving the photo in her face. "Well how about you take a better look and think long and hard before you answer the question again. Recognize him?"

"I haven't seen him in years." Sarah grinds out, wincing when she is pushed further against the wall. "I could have you hauled away from assaulting a federal agent, Detective."

"Assault is going to be the least of your worries if you don't start talking." Olivia responds harshly before presses impossibly further, drawing a yelp from the other woman.

"Alright! Alright!" Releasing a much needed breath when the brunette steps away, Sarah straightens out her clothes before she takes the picture. She stares at the clean shaven man in the mug shot labeled 'Krieger, Matt'. Sighing heavily, she drags a hand through her hair before handing the photo back to Olivia. "He's my brother. I wasn't lying when I said I haven't seen him in years, because I haven't, but I have heard some things."

Olivia raises her eyebrows before tilting her head in interest. "How long has he been mixed up with Cant?"

"I don't know. But the drug rings, the abductions, the prostitution; it was all Cant that got him into that stuff. I tried to get him out but he told me to mind my own business." Sarah explains, chuckling mirthlessly as she shakes her head. "Told me because I was a Fed, I couldn't be trusted. This must've been when he was arrested for suspicion of pimping out young girls, but he got off for lack of evidence. I haven't seen him since."

"You personally asked for this job, didn't you?"

"I felt guilty. I didn't ask for it for that reason alone, but I would never forgive myself if I knew an innocent woman got hurt for doing her job knowing my brother was involved."

Olivia folds her arms, gazing at Alex's broken body before turning back to the Marshal. "Do you have any leads?"

The redhead shakes her head as she begins to slowly pace the room. "I've had people looking, but so far, we've got nothing. If Cant can order this, I'm worried as to what he can do to your other ADAs."

"Don't worry. I'll take care of them." Olivia responds shaking her head. "I want you to do something for me. Send me everything you have on Cant and anyone and everyone he's connected with."

"I can't do that, Olivia. It's classified federal information." Sarah responds firmly but softly.

Olivia frowns deeply before she slowly marches forward, backing the other woman into a corner before pointing to the blonde in the hospital bed. "That woman there was almost killed and she is still hanging on by an inch of her life. She is dedicated, passionate, and serious about her job and she has done absolutely nothing wrong, but do the right thing. You are having me lie to her friends and family about her death. I have spent the past week holding my crying girlfriend in the middle of the night because she is so devastated that she has lost her best friend, her best friend she considers a sister. The never least you could do is give me the resources to help catch this guy."

Sarah is silent for a moment before she sighs heavily and holds up her hands. "Alright, alright. I'll pull some strings and see what I can do. But keep an eye out. You don't know what these people are capable of."

"After they tried to kill my friend; they don't know what _I'm _capable of."

* * *

"You're interrupting." Alex says in a teasingly warning tone as she follows her rather persistent successor out of the car.

"It's Friday evening, what could I possibly be interrupting." Casey responds shaking her head as she marches up to the apartment building. "And how would you know that I'm interrupting something?"

"Ghostly powers." Alex responds with a smirk as they slip into the elevator. As the lift begins it's slow climb, even she can practically feel the tension between them in the elevator.

Casey shifts uncomfortably, clearing her throat as she leans against the wall. "So, uh, about what happened in my office last night."

"You mean my office?" Alex retorts with a well knowing smirk tugging at her lips.

"My office, your office, whoever's office." Casey answers, shaking her head as she wafts her hand. "Anyway, about what happened, I…um…did you kiss me?"

Alex's eyes widen and her face slowly turns fire engine red as she looks away and folds her arms. "What if I did? How would you know about it?" she asks, worry creeping into her voice.

A nervous smile flits across Casey's face as she too finds herself blushing heavily. "I—I uh, well, I felt it. I thought I was dreaming it when I felt it, but it felt so real…" she responds, clearing her throat when she finds her voice cracking. "Why?"

"I don't know." Alex responds quickly. "It just felt right at the moment…"

"But I thought you didn't like me."

"I never said I didn't like you."

"But…" Casey's response is cut off by the dinging of the lift, and she just realized she had an entire conversation with a dead woman in an elevator. She sends up a silent prayer of thanks that she was the only one in there.

"You're interrupting." Alex says again shaking her head.

Casey rolls her eyes as they make their way down the hall. "Again, it's Friday evening. What's there to interrupt?"

"Plenty." Alex supplies, leaning against the wall while Casey knocks on the door. She raises her eyebrows when she spies the redhead looking at her with genuine confusion. "What?"

"Can't you walk through walls or something?"

"Ha ha…"

Casey shrugs and purses her lips tightly as she begins banging on the door once more. "What's taking her so long…" she mutters, holding up a finger when she sees Alex open her mouth. "If you tell me I'm interrupting I'm going lock you in a closet?"

Alex tilts her head in genuine confusion before tilting her head. "And how do you suppose you do that? I'm dead."

"Right…" Casey mutters, huffing when there is still no answer. After a few more minutes, she hears locks turning on the other side and she puts on a smile when the door swings open. "Hi."

"What the hell are you doing here?" A bathrobe clad Abbie asks with a frown. "What happened to calling first?"

"It's important. Can I come in?"

"Case, I don't know…"

"It'll only take a second."

Sighing heavily, Abbie steps to the side, holding out her hand for her friend to enter. "This better be good."

Upon entering the living room, Casey takes note of the candles lit around the apartment and the bottle and two glasses of wine on the coffee table. Her cheeks warm gradually as she realizes her best friend is most definitely naked underneath said robe. "Um, I'm interrupting…aren't I?"

"Yeah, a bit." Abbie responds with a small tinge of annoyance as she puts her hands on her hips.

"Told you." Alex quips, leaning against the mantle above the fireplace.

Casey rolls her eyes and prepares to retort to the blonde before she remembers that she's the only one that can see Alex. "Right...Well, I'm sorry. It was important. Is Kim here?"

"Yeah, she's here, but temporarily unavailable." Abbie responds before tilting her head. "You know, page thirty two, section five, paragraph three, and sentence one hundred forty seven of the girlfriend law code says that I should kick your ass."

Casey closes her eyes as she tilts her head back towards the ceiling. "She told you."

"Damn right she told me." Abbie responds firmly, before a smile slowly spreads across her lips. "But I'm not upset. And it was totally worth seeing you fear for your life for a few seconds."

"You're an asshole." Casey rolls her eyes, swatting the cackling brunette with her attaché.

"What else is new." Alex hums, putting her hands behind her back as she begins to pace. "Maybe I'll go check in on Kim. See how she's doing."

"Don't do that." Casey exclaims, shooting the blonde a firm look.

Abbie blinks in confusion and follows Casey's line of vision to a vacant spot on the wall. "Um…Case?"

Remembering where she is, Casey shakes her head and puts on a nervous smile. "I, ah, nothing." She mumbles before digging into her attaché for a folder. "Listen, I just came by to drop this off for Kim. Olivia gave it to me. It's a copy of stuff that has to do with the case that Alex was working before she died."

"Oh?" Abbie wonders, taking the folder as she begins flipping through it. A soft whistle escapes her lips as her eyebrows rise in interest. "The seal on here says it's federal and classified. This must be some pretty high end stuff. How'd Liv get access to this?"

"Didn't say much about it and she told me not to ask questions; all she said was it was legal so use it." Casey responds with a shrug, still questioning the detective's dismissive attitude towards her. "I have a copy of it myself, but I'm going to spend hours going over it so I figured it would be safe and great to have a second pair of eyes on it."

"Great. Then I'll be sure to give it to her." Abbie replies, holding up the folder. "Listen Case, let me be the first-well the second I guess to apologize for the way Kim's been acting. You'll have to forgive her, she's a little stressed out. She's not used to doing the things that Alex or I would handle when she would transfer between SVU and Homicide. She's been thrust into an executive job without much of the training for it. Kind of like being thrown into the lake for the first time without a life jacket. Then there's the fact that she just lost her best friend. Just…can you keep an eye on her for me?"

Casey blinks rapidly before raising her eyebrows. "_You_ want _me_ to watch _her_? Are you out of your mind?"

Abbie chuckles at her best friend's response before she shrugs. "She's harmless. But with me she's just claiming to be alright and she won't talk to me about anything. I suggested she go speak to someone, you know, professionally, and I thought she was gonna kick me out. Serena's cut herself off from the world at the moment, so I'm really out of options here. Please Case."

"Alright, but if it leads to my death it's on you." Casey responds pointing a finger, jumping when there is a loud snapping sound coming from the foyer. Following the noise, she groans when she spots her ghostly friend standing next to a broken pair of heels.

"Oops." Alex shrugs nervously as she slowly backs away.

"What the hell did that?" Abbie asks, arriving next to her friend before her eyes bug out and she gasps loudly. "Oh damn!" she exclaims, her voice an awkward three volumes higher than normal as she stoops down to pick up said shoes where both heels are dangling off. "Did you step on these?!"

"Step on them?! How could I have stepped on them when I was over there with you!?" Casey exclaims, sending a silent Alex a sharp glare.

Abbie, who has gone as white as a sheet, puts her hand over her mouth as she shakes her head. "These are eight hundred dollars! Or they were! Oh my god, I'm going to be living on the street. Oh my god…"

"Well, uh, we'll just be going now." Casey chuckles nervously.

"We?" Abbie echoes with a confused frown.

Realizing what she said, Casey shakes her head as she begins moving towards the door. "I mean, me, I, myself. I'll be going. I'll see you at work!" she exclaims, exhaling as she all but sprints to the elevator. Once she gets inside, she leans against the door, letting her head fall against the wall with a loud 'thump'. "Who knew you could step on things…"

"I wasn't looking at where I was going." Alex explains with a shrug. "Besides if you think about it, who keeps their eight hundred dollar shoes lying out in the open like that."

"People who don't think ghosts will come through and step on them." Casey retorts, shaking her head. "Move over Blondie, because when Kim finds out those shoes are broken, Abbie and I are gonna be joining you in the afterlife."

* * *

After spending a restless weekend of chasing dead ends and roadblocks from the information Olivia had provided for her, Casey feels like the walking dead as she stumbles into work Monday morning. Unfortunately after the visit at Abbie's apartment on Friday, she hadn't seen or heard from Alex.

Quite often, she still finds herself thinking about the kiss that they kind of shared and she can't help but wonder what the hell it means. They only met once and even now, Casey isn't sure that she can classify them as friends; can she? So what reason would the blonde have for wanting to kiss her?

"It smells like a something died in here." Alex mutters, scrunching up her face in disgust as Casey unlocks the door and enters her office.

"You can smell?" Casey wonders, tossing her belongings on her couch as she yawns.

"Weird isn't it? I have almost all the functions of a living being except I'm dead and the only person that can see me is you. Some life..." Alex responds frowning before she corrects herself. "Or death…"

"You didn't seem this chatty when we went on our date. Was I that much of a put off that night?"

"Honestly? I was a little pissed at you for being late…I've been stood up so many times, I felt like that time wasn't going to be any different. Once I had a date tell me she drove around for a while before deciding on coming. That's the same date that left me sitting at the table while she went to the 'bathroom'. I was just afraid of something like that happening again."

Casey nods her head, a look of sympathy on her face. "Well I know it doesn't make a difference now, but I wasn't going to leave. I wanted to see where the evening went and I was pretty bummed when you ran out. I wish you had let me drive you."

"Oh stop…it's not your fault. It's my own for not leaving that case alone. Now you'll probably never find my killer." Alex sighs, sitting down in one of the chairs across from her old desk before her face scrunches up in disgust. "But seriously, you've really got to do something about that smell."

"I would if I knew what it was." Casey exclaims with the same look of disgust as she reaches for one of her desk drawers. As she opens the drawer, her stomach lurches and she gags as the smell hits her full force and she looks down to see what looks to be a dead trout wrapped in newspapers sitting atop her things.

"Well, looks like someone left me a present." The redhead mumbles, using a Kleenex to lift the fish from her desk. She flinches and drops the fish when there is a loud, ear piercing scream coming from down the hall.

Quickly, she makes her way out of her office and follows the screaming down the hall. Slowing to a stop in front of Kim's office, she does a mental 'are you sure' as the brunette never seemed like much of a screamer. Her suspicions however are confirmed when the screaming continues, followed by a crash.

"Kim?" Casey calls out curiously, slowly opening the door only for her eyes to widen as there are numbers upon numbers of large rats running about the place. She makes eye contact with Kim who is on her knees at the top of her desk. "Kim what happened?"

"I came in this morning and they ran out of my desk! Then they came out of the closet and the cabinets and they were everywhere!" Kim screeches, screaming again when a large rat runs across the top of her desk sanctuary.

"I heard screaming." Abbie appears with a small group of lawyers, interns and secretaries, panting from her sprint down the hall. She lifts her foot just as one of the pesky rodents threatens to run at her. "Oh my god. Hang on, sweetheart, I'll get you out."

Swallowing thickly, Casey takes a step back as more rats threaten to escape out into the office. She has definitely seen a rat before, but she has never seen so many at one time and definitely not so many at one time that are this huge.

Abbie's skin crawls as she feels rats running over her feet as she lifts her girlfriend from the desk. In their almost one whole year of dating, she has never seen the other woman so terrified of anything. "It's alright, I've got you."

"There's so many." Kim whimpers, tightly clinging to her lover's neck.

"Case, did you see who did this?" Abbie asks as they are on their way back to her office.

Casey shakes her head in the negative, still a little thrown off by what she just witnessed. "No. I heard her screaming and when I opened the door, that's what I saw. But if it helps any, I did find a dead fish in my desk when I got here."

Abbie purses her lips in anger as she enters her office and lays the trembling woman down on the sofa. "Someone did this. Call Benson and then the two of you start looking through camera footage."

Casey nods her head before she returns to her office to make the phone call. After hanging up with the detective, she sighs heavily, grimacing when she remembers the fish. "Don't suppose I could have it for dinner huh?" she halfway jokes, looking up to find Alex with her lips pursed and shaking her head. "Guess not…"

**Hm…leave your thoughts? **


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: Hope you all enjoy.**

Arriving at the DA's office Olivia checked in with CSU and Fin who immediately called her over, "Hey Liv, check this out." Holding up his tablet Fin pressed play.

As the grainy CCTV footage played, she squinted at the empty screen, before Casey came into view seemingly having a heated argument with someone off screen. "What the hell?" Muttered Olivia.

"Maybe she sees dead people." Smirked Marcos in a creepy voice. He was a new CSU tech and upon seeing the look on the detectives' faces, he shrugged and walked away.

"That's not what I wanted to show you as amusing as it was; look at this." Fast-forwarding several hours they saw two men in security uniforms heading towards the ADA's offices, carrying two boxes each. They watched as the grainy figures entered first Casey's office for a few seconds then Kim's office where they lingered for around five minutes before re-locking the door and heading back down the hallway, making sure to keep their faces diverted from the cameras.

"Think the uniforms are real?" Asked Liv.

"Can't tell on this, I'll grab Munch and we'll go ask around a few uniform places." Replied Fin. "The lawyers are in the conference room, I don't think I've ever seen Greylek so...quiet."

"She hates rats, which makes me wonder if they knew that, which is why she got the rats and Novak got the fish." Pondered Liv.

"I'll let you ask her, not that I'll ever admit this to her but, Carmichael scares the hell out of me." Replied Fin squeezing Olivia's shoulder as he walked away.

Liv looked in both offices before heading to get a statements from Kim and Casey. As she walked in she could see Kim being comforted by Abbie, while Casey stared out of the window, a small smile at the corner of her mouth

Unaware she was being watched, Casey rolled her eyes as Alex made yet another fish pun, "You know Olivia's looking at you like your a perp she got to 'sort trout', right?"

Turning quickly Casey met the detective's gaze and swallowed deeply, muttering a quiet "I hate you." Under her breath before she forced a smile to her face.

"Novak, let's take a walk so I can get your statement." Said Liv, turning on her heel and leaving the room before Casey could reply.

Sending Abbie a 'what the hell' look she flowed Liv down the corridor into a small conference room before she was ordered to close the door behind her.

"Sure, there's not much I can tell you..." Started Casey.

"Who were you talking to?" Asked Liv thrusting the tablet at Casey.

"Wow Case, you look crazy! I never realized you waved your hands around that much." Smirked Alex.

"Shut up," she hissed. Recognizing it as the conversation she had shared with Alex as they headed for Abbie's on Friday, Casey gulped as she tried to find a valid explanation.

"Excuse me?" Asked Liv stepping towards Casey.

"I...I was on the phone...yes on the phone." Replied Casey pleased with her quick thinking.

"With your hands in your pockets?" Asked Liv with a snort.

"Oh, she's going to kick your ass." Smirked Alex.

Sending the blonde a glare Casey racked her brain for a suitable answer. Rolling her eyes Alex offered, "Bluetooth; tell her you were using Bluetooth."

"I was on my hands free." Replied Casey.

"Really? So who were you in such a lively discussion with?" Demanded Olivia taking another step towards Casey.

"I-I just..." Stuttered Casey, stepping backwards.

"Just what?" Yelled Liv slamming her hand against the wall an inch from Casey's head, "It seems strange that on the night you meet Alex for a date she gets hit by a car, strange that you knew where the flash drive was and what the password was. Care to explain?"

"I-I" replied Casey desperately searching for a believable answer, she sent Alex a pleading look.

"Well? Or do I need to take you to the station to jog your memory?"

"She told me. Alex told me...on our date, she said she had a feeling something bad was happening and if it did there was information on the flash drive."

"Really? That doesn't sound like the Alex I know."

"As if I would tell you." Laughed Alex sitting on the desk swinging her legs.

"Fine." Relented Liv.

"F-fine?" Asked Casey.

"Tell me how you found the fish?"

Blinking at the rapid change in topic Casey told Olivia how she found the fish and then the screaming from Kim's office.

"Do you know who's behind this?" Asked Liv.

"No, I swear, I don't know anything." Replied Casey.

"Fine. Anything to add? Maybe Alex told you who was going to hit her?"

"There's no need for the attitude Detective." Replied Casey her temper flaring.

"Of course not. Do let me know if you have next week's lotto numbers." Replied Liv walking out of the room. There was defiantly something off about the redhead, she just couldn't put her finger on what it was. She didn't think Casey was involved with Cant but she was certain the younger woman hadn't been straight with her on some account.

Reaching the conference room, Olivia quickly took Kim and Abbie's statements before flopping down on the couch and tiredly rubbing her eyes, "What do you know about Novak?"

"Casey?" Asked Abbie in surprise, seeing Olivia nod Abbie replied, "She's been my best friend since we were teenagers. She's good people, why?"

"I don't know, there's just something I can't put my finger on." Replied Liv.

"If you think she's involved in any of this your wrong! Casey's not like that." Replied Abbie heat creeping into her voice.

Placing a calming hand on her lover's leg Kim leaned forward, "Liv, I don't think Casey's involved."

"I'm not saying she is..."

"Then what are you saying?" Demanded Abbie.

"I don't know." Admitted Liv with a tired sigh.

"You look tired." Relied Abbie in a soft voice.

"Serena is having a really rough time; she keeps having nightmares. She also hasn't got out of bed or eaten anything properly since the funeral. I honestly don't know what to do." Admitted Olivia dragging a hand through her hair.

"I'm sorry Liv, I wish I could say something to help. I tried calling her, she hardly said two words, I know I'm not chatty but..."

"Don't take it personally, she's barely spoken to me since the funeral. When I bring up coming back to work, she almost goes into a panic attack."

"We're taking Novak out for a drink tomorrow evening as kind of a 'welcome, sorry we've treated you like crap.' kinda deal. Try and get her to come along." Suggested Kim.

"I'll try no promises though." Replied Liv. "I'll arrange a detail for you and Casey until we find out who did this."

"You will find them, won't you?" Asked Kim her voice uncharacteristically soft.

"We're doing everything we can, I promise." Replied Liv, standing to leave. Reaching her car she called the Captain and told him she was taking the rest of the day off; she needed to be with Serena.

* * *

Arriving home she wasn't surprised to find the lounge empty, giving a tired sigh she headed towards their bedroom, seeing her lover huddled under the covers she took a deep breath and perched on the edge of the bed. "Hey Sweetie, have you had anything to eat today?"

"I'm not hungry." Replied Serena.

"Sweetie, you have to eat..."

"I said I'm not hungry." Snapped Serena.

"Serena, please...Alex wouldn't want you to be like this, she would want you to get back to work and kick criminal ass." Pleaded Olivia.

"How do you know? How do you know what she would want? She's dead Olivia; dead, gone, never coming back. I've lost her; I've lost my best friend." Screamed the blonde getting out of bed.

Reaching towards her lover Olivia tried to keep her voice soft. "Rena..."

"No! You haven't caught the person who did this! Why aren't you out there looking for them instead of here badgering me to go out! Do your job Detective!" Yelled Serena slamming the door and locking herself in the bathroom.

Taking a deep breath Olivia knocked lightly on the bathroom door, "Serena, baby please open the door." She almost yelped as the door was ripped open. "Serena, I promise I'm doing everything I can to find the person...oomph."

Throwing herself into her girlfriend's arms Serena started to sob, "Please, please don't leave me, I'm so sorry...please Liv don't leave me."

"Shhh, I'm not going anywhere I promise." Whispered Olivia carrying Serena towards their bed, settling back against the pillows whee she rubbed small circles on her lover's back until her tears eased up.

"I'm sorry Liv, I know I've been a bitch I just...it hurts so much to know I'll never see her again, never hear her laugh, or be my bridesmaid."

"It's okay, I understand…She was my friend too. I promise you I will move heaven and earth to find the...the person who…hurt her." Replied Liv.

"I know, you're an amazing detective and an even better girlfriend." Replied Serena burrowing into Liv's embrace.

"How about you take a shower and I'll make us something for lunch, maybe we can go for a walk this afternoon?"

"Or we could take a bath together, order take-out and watch a film? That way we might live until the morning." Replied Serena with a small smile, Liv's lack of culinary skills were a thing of legend.

"Sounds perfect." Replied Liv, hoping this was the start of healing for her girlfriend and hating the secret she had been forced to keep even more. "Hey, um the others are taking Casey out for drinks tomorrow night. Do you want to go?"

"I...maybe, maybe we could go just for a little while?"

"Of course, whatever you need." Smiled Liv.

"You…you're all I need." Replied Serena.

* * *

Leaving the conference room Casey made her way back to her office, sighing at the mess the CSU team had made. Throwing the window open she took a grateful breath of fresh air. It was just her luck she was stuck in the office doing paperwork all day; she couldn't even work from home as Kim had already left for the day. Her thoughts were once again interrupted by her smirking companion.

"Not thinking of jumping are you?"

"I'm not taking to you." Muttered Casey casting a look at her office door to make sure it was closed. "People think I'm crazy and Olivia thinks I set up the hit on you."

"I'm sorry." Muttered the blonde, "I keep forgetting you're the only one who can see me."

Sighing Casey flopped into her chair and dragged a hand through her hair, "It's okay. Maybe we just keep our conversations behind closed doors?"

"I can go if you want?" Offered Alex.

"No!" Answered Casey quickly, "I mean, you don't have to, I like having you around. No idea why but I do."

"Because even as a ghost I'm freaking awesome." Smiled Alex.

"And a big head." Smirked Casey as she pulled a pile of paperwork towards her and picked up her pen.

* * *

The following evening Abbie was impatiently waiting for her girlfriend to finish getting ready so they could go to the bar to meet Casey, Liv and hopefully Serena. "Come on Kim, were going to be late and I don't want to leave Case alone with Liv for too long." Called Abbie as she threw her phone into her purse.

Walking into the lounge fixing her earring Kim asked, "Babe, where are my shoes?"

"Which ones? You have so many..." Asked Abbie with a nervous smile.

"The ones I wore two days ago, the blue Farragamo pumps." Replied Kim, searching the hallway for her favorite shoes.

"Uh..."

"Uh?" Asked Kim with a raised eyebrow.

"Why don't you wear your, Gianvito Rossi pumps I got you for our anniversary?"

"Because they are green and I'm wearing a blue shirt." Replied Kim.

"Oh...look I don't know how it happened but um...well the heel broke..I've ordered a replacement pair but they're not going to be here until Friday…"

Walking towards her girlfriend Kim pressed a soft kiss Abbie's cheek. "Because you saved me from the rats and for that reason _alone_ I'll let you live." Replied Kim turning back towards their bedroom to change her shirt.

* * *

Letting out the breath she had been holding, Abbie text Casey to let her know they were running late and that she owed her half the cost of Kim's shoes.

Hearing her phone chime to indicate a new text message, Casey sighed as she read Abbie's words. Casting a glance at the woman sitting next to her she muttered, "I hope you realize you cost me four hundred dollars with your antics the other day."

"Sue me; you can send the summons to Alex Cabot C/O the afterlife." Smirked Alex.

"Bite me." Muttered Casey before seeing Olivia and Serena walk in and head for the table, "Oh God, why does my life suck so much."

"Serena looks awful." Whispered Alex in a soft voice.

Ignoring Alex, Casey rose to greet Serena with a warm hug before nodding a hello at Olivia, "Kim and Abbie are running late...something about shoes."

"Kim is probably freaking out because one of her shoes had a scuff on it." Laughed Serena.

"A pair got broken so I think Abbie is in the doghouse." Replied Casey.

"Wonder how that happened." Muttered Alex. Narrowing her eyes as Casey continued to ignore her, she started to push Casey's glass of Bourbon towards the edge of the table, until it almost fell in Casey's lap.

"What the..." Yelped Casey.

"Don't ignore me; you're the extent of my social interaction now." Smirked Alex.

Narrowing her eyes Casey picked up her cell phone and typed, 'Bite me.' On the screen angling it at the blonde.

"You wish." Laughed Alex.

"So, how are you settling in?" Asked Serena, smiling at Liv as she returned to the table with their drinks.

"Considering the circumstances, I'm doing okay. How about you, you doing okay?"

"I'm doing better, I have an amazing girlfriend." Replied Serena, looking up as the door opened to admit Kim and Abbie.

After some small talk and several embarrassing stories from Abbie and Casey's teenage years, the conversation turned to Alex. "I was thinking we should do something for her...well not for her exactly but something in her name." Said Serena.

"What did you have in mind?" Asked Casey.

"Ohhh say skydiving." Interrupted Alex.

"I'm not jumping out if a plane." Casey mutter. Seeing Abbie's raised eyebrow she added, "Lots of charities do sky diving or bungee jumping…"

"Okay." Replied Abbie watching her friend out of the corner of her eye.

"So no heights, what about a masquerade ball?" Suggested Kim.

"God no! I'd hate that." Muttered Alex, "Seriously the woman reads too much Jane Austin."

Spluttering on the mouthful of drink she'd just taken Casey wiped her chin, hiding her mouth behind the napkin a disgusted looking Kim handed her she asked, "What do you suggest on ghostly one?"

"Ghostly one? What about a tea party?"

"Instead of a ball, what about a tea party?" Suggested Casey, "Mad hatter style."

"That sounds more Alex." Smiled Serena, "It's like your channeling her spirit."

"Huh as if Alex would haunt me." Replied Casey.

"Not by choice that's for sure." Smirked Alex.

"I say we raise a toast." Said Abbie lifting her glass, "To Alexandra Cabot, gone but never forgotten."

"To Alex." Chorused the others clinking their glasses together, looking to her left Casey was saddened Alex had once again disappeared. As it was a work night the group soon went their separate ways.

* * *

Arriving home Casey took a shower and as she brushed her teeth she found herself hoping Alex would be there when she got into bed. Walking into her room she could see Alex lying on her side staring out of the window at the rain. "Hey, you doing okay?"

"I miss them." Admitted Alex, "I wish I could have one more discussion with my dad about ethic's, hear my mom nag me about settling down, listen to Liv and Abbie argue over sports or listen as Kim and Serena gush about their relationships. Hell, if I'm wishing stuff, I wish I'd given you more of a chance." Admitted the blonde.

Rolling on her side to mirror the blonde's position Casey reached out a hand to cover hers, "I'm really sorry Alex."

"Goodnight Casey."

Releasing she didn't want to talk, Casey gave a small smile in response, "Goodnight Alex."

**Leave your thoughts?**


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: Errr, not much to say here…kinda got carried away…enjoy!**

Liz calls out a quick 'come in' to the light knock on the open door of her office. She continues to keep her head angled towards the papers sprawled across her desk, though she briefly raises her eyes to meet those of the woman slowly entering the space. "Ah, I've been expecting you." the EADA begins, folding her hands into her lap as crosses her legs and leans back in her chair. "You saved my secretary a two floor trip."

"I'm glad I could be accommodating." Kim responds with the world's tiniest smile as she holds up the packet of papers in her grasp. "I have my transfer forms. I'm sorry that it took me so long to get them back to you."

"I could see that it had nothing to do with pay with how long it took you." Liz responds, leaning forward slightly to retrieve the papers before she begins glancing over each page, checking to make sure she has all the right signatures in the right place. "It's good to see that you have recovered from your…incident. I trust that your relocation is suiting you well? You know that all it takes is a word to move Novak to a new office, as Alex's office should be yours now."

Kim shakes her head as a nervous smile flits across her face. "I-thank you, but no, I'm fine with the new office that I have. I wouldn't want to put any inconvenience on Casey as she has already gotten settled. I just hope that this time when I come into work in the morning, I won't have any…guests waiting for me."

Liz nods her head subtly before dropping the papers on her desk, returning her hands to their folded position in her lap. "I must say that I am pleased that you finally signed your transfer papers. It took less pressure off having to deal with your relationship with your superior."

"If you don't mind me asking; what exactly does 'having to deal with my relationship' mean?"

"Kim I know that you're young, but you are not by any means stupid. How many times has the defense accused the prosecution of sleeping together when you and Carmichael tried cases both separately and jointly?"

"My relationship with Abbie had absolutely no effect on my job when we were working together and it certainly won't now."

"Of course not. As you are now in separate division it should add a little more leisure to both of your jobs."

Kim fights against the teenager in her that's telling her to roll her eyes and she settles for tightly pursing her lips and nodding tersely. "Well I'm glad that you have shed light on your opinion. If we are done here, then I have work to do."

"We aren't finished." Liz calls out before the younger woman has a chance to exit. She motions for her to close the door before she rises from her chair and slowly makes her way around to the other side of the desk, leaning against it where her fingers lightly tap against the overhang. "I understand that you and Novak are working together in rebuilding the case that Alex had been instructed to dismiss?"

"That's right. We believe that the case can lead us to her killer." Kim explains with a tiny frown playing at her features as she studies the look on her boss's face. "Why, am I doing something wrong?"

Liz raises her eyebrows and shakes her head at the question. "No not at all. Actually, I believe that what the both of you are doing is exceptional and I would want nothing more than to see the bastard brought to justice," she explains as she removes her glasses and folds her arms before sighing. "Unfortunately, I am informing you that you are hereby dismissed of any further investigation involving the case or Alex's death."

At this, Kim's eyes widen and her mouth falls open admitting a few incoherent sound before she remembers what she does for a living and finds the confidence in her voice and tone. "You're _dismissing_ me? On what grounds?"

"On supervisory demands." Liz responds coolly as she holds up another sheet of finely printed paper.

"Supervisory demands?" Kim echoes, crossing the room before she takes the paper into her own hands where her glaring eyes scan over the paper, only to narrow when she sees Abbie signature scrawled at the bottom. "I just turned in my transfer papers to you. This can't be valid, she is no longer my supervisor meaning she is no longer my boss and she has no control."

"Yes, that's true." Liz answers with a nod, replacing her glasses to sit atop of nose. "However, this motion was filed last week; obviously before you turned in your transfer papers. As you had taken time off, I have not seen you to inform you that I am allowing this motion and adhering to her wishes of having you removed from any further investigations. Had you turned in your papers sooner, I would have had to deny them."

"With all due respect, Liz, Abbie does not make decisions for me. I am more than capable of doing that myself and I think that I have been here long enough to prove that. Look, Alex was my friend and I am going to do everything I can to help nail the son of a bitch that did this to her. And I am not going to let Abbie's ridiculous demands stand in my way."

"Legally, you are going to have to. As your supervisor she has an authority that you must adhere to."

"But she's not my supervisor anymore!"

"She was when this paperwork was filed. I know that this is upsetting to you, but there is nothing that I can do to change it. If you have a problem with it, take it up with Branch, but I promise that he's just going to say the same things that I am telling you now, only then you'll find yourself on forced leave without pay and probably have your ego bruised even further." Liz explains, crossing her arms once again. "There's nothing that I can do. Perhaps you should take her reasons for doing this into consideration, especially with everything that has just happened. Let her and Casey handle it. They are both more than qualified to do so."

"And you think I'm not?" Kim retorts, though the question is forceful as if it were originally intended to be a statement.

Liz closes her eyes as she sighs heavily and shakes her head. "You know that's not what I meant. Don't make this any harder than it needs to be. It's not as if you are getting fired."

"No. I'm just having my right to make my own decisions taken away." Kim finishes off, shaking her head as she spins on her heel and storms out of her boss's office.

Storming into her apartment later that night, Kim completely ignores the smell of Mexican cuisine that hits her when she stalks through the foyer. She dumps her things on the floor with a little more force than originally intended, though the sounds of her entrance have already drawn her intended target out of the kitchen.

"Hey, I was wondering when you'd make it home. You weren't in your office when I left so I didn't get to say goodbye or anything." Abbie explains with a smile as she points thumb in the direction of the kitchen. "I have tacos, refried beans, and rice going in the kitchen. I figured we'd spice things up a little for dinner."

"You have a hell of a lot of nerve." Kim states flatly but firmly as she tightly folds both of her arms.

A look of sheer confusion crosses Abbie's face and her mouth hangs open for a second before she manages a response. "Um, I'm sorry? Did I do something wrong?"

Kim scoffs bitterly as she holds up a dismissive finger. "Don't even start with that innocence Abigail, I know what you did. Liz and I had quite the interesting conversation this afternoon while you were you were on your lunch break." She begins before shaking her head. "How could you do that?"

Sighing heavily, Abbie tilts her head back as she realizes what this is about. "I knew that it was only a matter of time before Liz told you. Look, I only did it because I wanted to keep you safe. Honestly, I did it with a blind eye. I hadn't known you hadn't turned in your transfer papers yet."

"Now you're lying. You knew I hadn't turned in my transfer papers because we sat up all night one night talking about why I hadn't yet. Now I come to find out that you don't trust me?"

"No! Kim, no. I trust you; you know that I trust you. I only did what I did to make sure that you stay safe; okay? That's the only reason I did it. After what happened to Alex, I can't take the chance of the same thing happening to you. I wouldn't be able to live with myself. That's why I signed those forms. I actually talked it out with Casey and she thinks I'm doing the right thing in protecting you."

Kim laughs, though the laugh that escapes her lips is absolutely nothing of humor. "So now you and Casey are making the decisions for me? Whatever happened to that talk we had when you were trying to get me to sign the papers? 'Spread your wings, Kim', what happened to that, huh? I don't have this job by choice Abbie. I was actually getting used to being bounced around and now because of a tragedy I've been put into a position that I never thought I'd have as long as you and Alex were working in the office. I want to do my job and I want to help Alex, but how can I do that when you don't trust me?"

"Then I guess you can't." Abbie responds firmly, her eyes gone hard as she quickly shifts from concerned girlfriend Abbie to ADA Carmichael. "Because I will not have you working on this case any longer. You're so concerned with having a job to do; do it. But I will not have Warner call me into her office for me to identify your body. I'm not putting you into that kind of position and neither will you. This is the end of this discussion."

"So that's it? You're just going to declare that we stop talking about this and it be over? You don't control me Abbie and I'm getting pretty sick and tired of you acting like you do."

"Now you're being ridiculous, I don't act like I control you. If anything I'm the one that caters to you."

"Oh yeah? What about when we go to a restaurant and I order something you don't like? Like the wine? Or the appetizer? You're controlling when you don't even realize you're controlling, and I'm not going to stand for it."

Abbie sighs heavily, realizing that she doesn't want to have this argument now, or ever for the fact. "Look, I'm sorry, alright? It may seem that I was only thinking about myself, but I was thinking about you to. I just want to keep you safe…"

"I've always wanted to learn how to knit."

* * *

Casey blinks rapidly, not sure if she had heard correctly. Her mouth opens and closes several times before she looks up and squints before tilting her head. "I'm sorry, did you say, knit?"

"Mhm," Alex nods in confirmation as she rolls the dice and moves her game piece around the monopoly board. "Sometimes when I took the subway to work just for the hell of it, I would somehow always end up sitting next to an elderly woman who liked to knit. Once, one even tried to teach me, but I never got the hang of it. It was just so…fascination to see how two needles can end up making an entire article of clothing. I've seen women knit socks, scarves, caps, sweaters, hell, I've even run into a woman who was knitting her grandson a pair of pants. I mean come on. There's no way you've ever seen a pair of knitted pants before."

"No." Casey responds before she chuckles softly as she is taking her turn. "But I can also say that I've never played a game of monopoly with a ghost before."

At this, a small smile graces Alex's features as she drops her hands into her lap. "You really are a mystery to figure out Casey. Here you are, this amazing woman, single might I add, and you're spending you're time indoors with me, a dead woman, playing a board game instead of going out and living your life. I just can't figure you out."

Casey shrugs, chuckling softly once again as she slightly raises her eyes to meet the blue ones that are trained on her. "Maybe, I don't have much of a life to live?" she offers in a joking manner, though it only comes out as halfway humorous.

"Why don't you have a girlfriend Casey?" Alex asks, no longer dragging this out as she decides it's time to be completely honest. "I mean look at you, you're smart, funny, you have a good sense of humor, you're attractive; how come there isn't anyone for you to come home to?"

"Maybe I can't get a girlfriend?" Casey offers with a humored smile tugging at the corner of her lips.

"Casey, if Abbie Carmichael can manage to get even one date with Kim freaking Greylek, let alone have a stable relationship with her; you can get a girlfriend." Alex deadpans before laughing amusedly. "Nice try though. Try another answer."

Casey's face turns serious as she shrugs her shoulders and angles her gaze down to the game board. "I dunno…relationships I guess I'm just not…cut out for? I've had a lot of casual relationships, you know, one night stands, things like that. Hanging out with Abbie for most of your life, you manage to have a lot of flings. The only serious relationship I've ever been in was with my ex, Jennifer, but we broke up almost two months ago."

"Do you want to tell me what happened?" Alex asks gently, treading carefully incase it was an overly sensitive subject.

"Wouldn't hurt." Casey relents, with a sigh as she leans back on her hands. "We met when I first moved to Chicago. It was at an art gala I'd been invited to by a few coworkers at my new office. Our eyes met across the room and I knew I was sunk. She was an interior designer, gorgeous, down to earth, and we seemed to click on everything. When I asked her to dinner, everything just seemed to fall into place. Soon, dinner dates became more frequent, we get closer, move in together, you know, the whole nine yards; at least that's what I thought. I saw my future with that woman. Thought we'd get married, have a family, you know, the traditional happily ever after. One day, I managed to get off of work early enough to come home and surprise her. When I got home, the house was dark, but I just thought she'd settled in to take a nap." Casey finds herself trailing off as her voice begins to crack with emotion. She shakes her head when she sees Alex begin to protest against continuing; she can't stop now. She needs to do this. "I walked in to our room and there she was…in the arms of another woman. I recognized her as Jen's boss, but it didn't make much of a difference. All I saw was my girlfriend, the love of my life, with another woman; a woman that she took into _our_ bed in _our_ home. After that, I couldn't take it anymore. I heard about the job opening here and I jumped at the chance. I just needed to get out of there. To get away from the memories."

"I'm so sorry that happened to you." Alex whispers sadly, leaning forward to rest a hand on the redhead's shoulder.

The touch is so light it's almost absent, but there's no doubt that Casey can feel the coolness and light weight of the hand on her shoulder. She reaches up and gently covers Alex's hand with her own, once again surprised by the cool, almost absent feeling of flawless skin underneath her touch.

Seeing the sprinkle of sadness in the other woman's eyes, Alex attempt to assuage to feeling. "Well, for what it's worth, if our date had been a success, I can assure you that you wouldn't have to worry about me going to bed with Liz." She jokes, grinning when she receives a small chuckle in response. "There's that pretty smile…"

"Why me, Alex?" Casey asks, a question that she finds herself asking daily.

"I wish I knew." Alex responds, shaking her head as she shrugs her shoulders. "But I'm glad it's you. I wish we had gotten the chance to know each other Casey, you have no idea how much I wish I had just stayed that night. I was just…so scared that you'd be like all the others. I couldn't take another night of sitting at the table by myself looking like a fool. God knows I've been through so many, a few of those have been courtesy of your best friend."

Rolling her eyes, Casey leans forward to resume their board game. "I'm almost afraid to ask."

"Please, allow me," Alex begins, shaking her head as she rolls the dice once more. "One I will never forget; Misty Franklin. If that woman wasn't the pure definition of cowgirl, I don't know what is. We were supposed to be having dinner at Angelo's this five star Italian restaurant that is on the list of best places to eat in the U.S. I'm sitting there in my Armani off the shoulder dress, and she strolls in wearing a flannel shirt, ripped jeans, a cowboy hat complete with boots and spurs. The minute she sat down, I felt the stares on us but I'm a reasonable woman and I don't judge on first impressions, though I'll admit I immediately started plotting Abbie's demise. Well, after…forced conversation about cattle and ranching and other things I had no interest in hearing about, she decides to serenade me; loudly might I had."

"You got serenaded by a cowgirl in the middle of a five star restaurant?" Casey asks, her eyes widening by the minute as a humored smile spreads across her lips.

Alex nods her head, sighing as she goes on. "I thought I was going to die of embarrassment. I'm surprised management didn't ask us to leave, but it made for quite the entertainment for the other patron's evening. The next woman was Serena's. Laura Hill. She was fine, normal, business accountant, and we had a few things we could relate to. Everything was good and she invited me back to her apartment for coffee. Well we had our coffee and then out of the blue she asked me if I liked being tied up. I was totally floored by the question, and she pulled out the biggest whip I've ever seen. I don't think I've ever run so fast in my entire life."

Casey can't hide the belt of laughter that escapes her lips at Alex's confession. Seeing the look on the blonde's face, she raises her hand to wipe away her tears from laughter before she manages to settle back into sanity. "Gee, Alex, I know it shouldn't be funny but that's…hilarious. I mean, I can just imagine the look on your face when she asked you if you liked being tied up."

"It's not a face I can replicate, I'll tell you that much." Alex mumbles, tilting her head as a look of curiosity crosses her face. "What about you? Are you the giver or the taker in bed?"

"Wh-wha-what?!" Casey splutters, not exactly sure of how she's supposed to respond to the question as her face immediately turns beet red. "I-I…I…"

Rolling her eyes, Alex shakes her head before sighing exasperatedly. "I mean are you allowing yourself to be pleasured, or do you like being the one to pin a woman to the mattress and take her for what she's worth."

Blinking rapidly, Casey feels her tongue go limp as she shrugs. "I—I don't know…I like to be on top?" she squeaks, her face warming further, if that's even possible. "Why-why do you wanna know?"

"I was just curious."

* * *

"I can't believe you have me out shopping for this." Kim mutters into her phone as she continues to walk through the brightly colored, brightly lit store the following evening. "I can't believe you relented to this idea. A 'Mad hatter tea party' what the hell even? I like my idea of a masquerade ball."

"First off, this isn't about you, it's about Alex. You know she had that charity fund for children she loved so much, with this, we can raise tons of money AND people can have fun. Secondly, you know Alice in Wonderland was her favorite movie. She would totally love it." Serena's voice responds from her end of the line.

Kim rolls her eyes, making a face as a couple of kids shooting water guns bump her as they run by. "Good to see that you're reverting to your natural self." She grumbles, scowling after the two squealing kids. "There are children here, Serena. You know how much I don't like children."

Serena's giggling is unmistakable, even though she tries to hide it over the phone. "What are you going to do if Abbie decides one day that she wants kids?"

"Kill myself." Kim deadpans in response as she drops another purchase into her basket. "I hope you know that I'm only here for plates and napkins and utensils. I refuse to spend time here picking out decorations, you know. I'm not good at that kind of thing when it comes to 'Disney' and Abbie has a ten year old niece that can vouch for that. She certainly doesn't want to see an 'Auntie Kim' in her future."

"Ah, Kim Greylek, putting fear into the eyes of children since the day she was born." Serena hums in a faux nostalgic voice.

"Whatever." The brunette mumbles, nodding a silent 'thanks' to the cashier who hands over her purchases in a plastic bag. "Look, I got the necessities, but you and the others are going to have to figure out everything else, because this is where I taper off."

"Come on, Kimberly, don't be such a spoil sport. At least help us look for a place."

"…I'll make a few calls, but only because the idea of telling you no is equivalent to shooting a rabbit in the foot."

"Thanks!" Serena quips before her tone lapses into one of confusion. "I think…"

"It's a compliment Southerlyn, don't wear it out." Kim hums back with a small smirk as she reaches her car. "Hey, I'm about to head home, so I'll check in with you later. Go give Liv a massage or something, she seemed pretty tense about something when we were going over cases earlier."

"I'll do that…she's been so worried about me that she hasn't even once thought about herself." Serena sighs in response. "G'night Kim. Try not to find another reason to kill Abbie before bedtime."

"Don't put your money on it." Kim responds, shaking her head as she ends the phone call.

Unlocking her car, she slips into the driver's seat before dropping her purchases into the passenger seat. As she is about to put her key into the ignition, she swears she notices movement in her rearview mirror. Before she can think of it further, a gloved hand tightly covers her mouth and her eyes widen when she feels something sharp against her throat.

"Give me a reason to slit your throat right here, Counselor." A gravelly voice drawls as its owner presses the knife into the petrified woman's flesh. "Here's what's gonna happen, Counselor; you're going to pull out of this parking lot and drive to the end of the street where we'll both get out and I stuff you in the trunk. You scream, try to run, or do any kind of funny business, I'll be sending you back to the DA's office and the NYPD in pieces. Nod if you understand." He demands forcefully, keeping is hand over the attorney's mouth and the knife at her throat as a smirk spreads across his lips when he receives a fearful nod in response. "Good. Now drive."

**Again…carried away…leave your thoughts? **


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: Don't think we made you guys wait THAT long. At least this one doesn't exactly end in a cliffhanger. Anyhow, things are gonna take a little bit of a different turn here, so if you don't read my author's notes at the beginning, I advise you start doing so. **

**Warning: Mentions of recreational drug use.**

Blinking rapidly, Casey groans as she finds herself awakened in the middle of the night by an unknown source. Groaning once more, she rubs the tiredness from her eyes, blinking hard as she stares at the lit green blurs on the digital clock at her bed side, trying to make them out as numbers. Her heart jumps for a brief moment when the angry vibration on her end table alerts her to the source of her being awake at what she deems to be an ungodly hours.

"'Lo?" She mumbles into the receiver, not bothering to look at who was calling or answering with a more pleasant greeting.

"Casey, she hasn't come home." A frantic voice on the other end of the line rattles out.

Blinking once again, Casey shakes her head and pinches the bridge of her nose as she recognizes the rambling voice on the other end of the line. "Abbie, slow down. Who hasn't come home?" she asks, still in a little bit of a sleepy state from earlier.

Taking a shaky breath, Abbie manages to take a moment to breathe before she continues on. "Kim. She hasn't come home. It's been four hours. She was at the party store picking up a few things for the party and-and she set me a text about being back later. All I know is that it's been hours and she hasn't come home and her phone is going straight to voicemail every time I try to call her."

"Abbs, calm down. I just need you to take a sec and breathe okay."

"I can't Casey I can't! She hasn't come home yet!"

"Okay, have you called the police?"

"Yeah-yeah, I-Liv and Fin are here. They have people looking for her. God, Case, what if she's hurt? What if-what if she-"

"No! Hey, no." Casey says firmly, holding up a finger as if Abbie were directly in front of her. "You are not going to think like that alright? I'm sure that she's alright and I'm sure that we'll find her. I just need you to relax. I'll be over there as soon as I can, alright?"

"Yeah-yeah, okay." Abbie shaky voice replies before the line goes dead.

Putting down her phone, Casey heaves a shaky sigh as she covers her eyes before running her hands through her hair. As she looks up, her tired gaze finds that of icy blue eyes staring back at her, wide and expectantly.

"Is everything alright?" Alex asks carefully, not exactly sure as to what is going on at such a late hour.

Sighing once again, Casey manages to get out of bed before heading over to her closet. "Kim didn't come home and Abbie's worried. I'm going over there to sit with her." She explains, pulling her coat from the closet before quickly making her way out of her bedroom, throwing a glance over her shoulder as she walks past. "You coming?"

"As if I have anything else to do." Alex responds, shaking her head as she nervously bites down on her bottom lip, becoming totally worried for her best friend as she silently hopes that this is all some terrible misunderstanding.

Arriving at Abbie's place, Casey is not at all surprised when she spots Fin making a post outside the door. "Anything new, Detective?"

"Nah, but we've got patrol cars everywhere." Fin begins with a nod of his head. "El and Munch are checking the DA's office and places around there respectively. Liv's inside talking to Carmichael if you wanna go on in."

Remembering her earlier encounters with the female detective, Casey actually sits on the offer for a while. For a minute, she actually contemplates turning around and telling Fin to tell the apartments occupants that she was never there, but a firm nudge by Alex that nearly takes her off her feet causes her to think otherwise.

Seeing the attorney suddenly stumble, Fin raises his eyebrows and tilts his head. "You all right? Haven't been nipping at the cooking sherry have you?"

"What? No, no. Just really tired." Casey responds with a small chuckle, sending a smiling Alex a subtle glare before she makes her way through the front door. Upon entering the living room, she spies Abbie standing off to the side a little while Liv has her hand on the gun at her hip. Raising her hands, a nervous chuckle escapes Casey's lips as she freezes in her tracks. "Relax. It's just me. Fin let me in."

The two brunettes relax though it's obvious to Casey that Liv is keeping an extra eye on her, but being subtle about it. "You always make it a point to leave your house in your pajamas?" Liv asks with a tiny smirk, nodding towards the pink flannel PJ's underneath Casey's coat.

"I tried to get her to change." Alex mutters, shaking her head as she crosses the apartment and takes refuge in one of the arm chairs in the living area.

"I was in a hurry." Casey responds with a small chuckle as she takes a seat next to her distraught looking best friend. She manages to share a brief look of concern with Alex before turning her attention back to the woman next to her. "Abbie, are you alright?"

"Am, I alright?" Abbie repeats back, though it is bitter and rhetorical. "My girlfriend is out there somewhere probably hurt and you're asking me if I'm alright? Well what the hell do you think Casey? Do you think I'm alright?"

Casey's mouth falls open in response and it takes her a moment to come up with response before she settles on sighing quietly. "Ah, I—I, I'm sorry I didn't mean…"

Shaking her head, Abbie holds up her hand signaling silence. "No, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to jump all over you like that." she explains, standing from her spot on the sofa where she folds her arms and heaves a great sigh. "I'm just so worried about her."

"Abbie, before Casey got here, you were telling me about what happened?" Olivia interjects tiredly, the evidence of her own lack of sleep clear on her face.

"Yeah. Kim and I…we just had a fight. She got mad at me when she found out I dismissed her from investigating Alex's death." Abbie begins to explain, shaking her head as she bites down on her bottom lip. "She accused me of being too controlling, not letting her make her own decisions, things like that. She hasn't exactly spoken to me since then. She speaks when she needs to but other than that she had been avoiding me; you know, she slept in the guest room, left for work before I got up. When she didn't respond to my text or any of my phone calls, I thought it was her being mad at me. I-I…I just wanted to keep her safe."

Seeing her best friend beginning to break down, Casey stands up and wraps her arms around her before gently guiding them back down to the sofa. She notices movement in the corner of her eye and she notices that it's just Alex moving to carefully sit on the other side of Abbie. She watches as the blonde raises her hand to rest it on Abbie's shoulder, but she gives a subtle shake of her head as she realizes the fleeting touch may freak out the already distraught woman.

"Abbie, it's gonna be alright." Casey attempts soothingly, hating when she sees her best friend cry over anything and she can see that Abbie is on the verge of tears. "Liv and the others are doing everything they can to find her. We'll find her."

"Yeah but alive?" Abbie asks in that same bitter rhetoric tone from earlier, only this time it is clearly coated by grief. Shaking her head, she leans forward to rest her head in her hands. "What did you tell Serena?"

Blinking rapidly, Olivia realizes the question was directed at her after the lag of silence. "Oh. I…I didn't exactly tell her anything about Kim going missing like this. She told me that she had talked to Kim before climbing into bed so I can assume that's around the time Kim was leaving the store. I haven't told Serena because, well…I don't think she can handle it. Not right now. She's just starting to cope with what happened to Alex."

Tilting her head back, Abbie allows her tears to fall as she begins to slowly pace a circle around her living room. "In a way I feel like this was my fault. If I hadn't pushed her to go out that night then maybe, just maybe she would still be with us." She whispers, shaking her head. "All she wanted was for me to leave her alone but I kept pushing her. Maybe if I had just left her alone, she wouldn't be…she wouldn't be dead."

Blinking back what feels like tears, Alex tightly grasps Casey's hand in her own as she scoots closer to her on the sofa. "Casey, you have to tell her it wasn't her fault. Tell her that what happened to me couldn't have been prevented and she's only going to make things worse for herself if she blames herself like she is. Please Case, tell her."

"Abbie." Casey begins softly, drawing the other woman's attention. "You can't blame yourself for what happened to Alex. What happened…it wasn't anything that you could've done and you're only going to make things worse for yourself if you blame yourself…"

"Like I made things worse for Kim." The dark haired attorney mumbles darkly.

"Abbie, that's not your fault." Liv tries to step in. "No one is to blame for this."

"Except me." Alex whispers, letting her hands fall into her lap. "If I had just left that damn case alone…if I had just left it alone, none of this would be happening. I thought that I would always have the target on my back…I never realized I was putting it on everyone else close to me. Casey, I…I know that you can't tell her how sorry I am, but I just...I'm so sorry that this has been so hard on all of you. I wish I could make it right."

Casey wants nothing more than to sit on the sofa and pull Alex into her arms to comfort her, but she realizes that she can't do that in the presence of the other two women. She simply shoves her hands into her pockets, hanging her head sadly as she moves back to take a seat on the sofa. She is halfway taken by surprise when she feels a slight weight on her shoulder and she looks up only to be met with a head of blonde hair resting against her accompanied by the faintest scent of sea breeze shampoo.

* * *

"I want you to take that car apart completely and make it look like it never existed." The booming voice of Edward Cant shouts pointing towards the recently vacated vehicle. He receives several streams of 'yes boss' from his men as he puts his hand into his pocket and continues his stride towards his destination. Descending a flight of stairs, he comes to a stop in front of a heavy metal door, nodding to the suited man at the bottom who pulls it open for him.

Flicking on the only light in the room, a tiny smirk tugs at the corners of Edward's lips as he folds his arms, his steely gaze lingering on the rigid woman in the chair in the center of the room. "Heard you didn't put up much of fight for Tony. Thought you had a little more spark than that." he taunts, his polished shoes clacking against the cement floor as he slowly paces. "Heard you've made a reputation for yourself as 'the crusader'? But I guess your little crusade ends here."

"If you're going to kill me, why waste your time. I don't need to hear your speeches." Kim speaks firmly, looking the man dead in the face as she does so.

"There's that feistiness I've heard so much about." Edward chuckles as he circles the chair much like a shark would stalk a vulnerable creature before striking, diving in for a direct kill. But Edward is a man of patience and elegance he would go as far to say and he never does anything sloppy. "It's a shame to hear what happened to your friend, Alex. I can only say that I wished she had gone quickly."

Kim's eyes harden as she feels his hand on her shoulder. Despite being completely immobile and bound to the chair, she attempts to snatch away, wincing when the motion puts a strain on her arm. "Alex's name has absolutely no business being in your dirty mouth." She strikes back fiercely. "I'm not afraid of you, and I won't resort to your scare tactics."

"You seem to only do well when there is a blade at your throat." Edward smirks, whipping at a small blade that he immediately digs into the woman's flesh. A sadistic grin slowly spreads across his lips as he drags the blade across her skin, not enough to kill, but enough to leave a trail of blood; and the strained wince of pain on her face only serves to fuel him on. "I think, Kim, that you are too afraid to show that you are afraid. It's almost endearing really. It makes you…attractive."

"Don't touch me." the attorney snaps when she feels his hand travelling dangerously close to the opening of her shirt. When his hand threatens to go lower, she attempts to snatch away, only for the restraints to pull her back into place. "Do not. Touch me."

Edward's demonic smirk returns and he only backs away when there is a loud banging on the metal door. He crosses the room once again and pulls the door open where a man pushes in a cart of some sort containing several foreign objects. The two exchanges a brief word before shaking hands and the man leaves, leaving Edward alone with his captive once again.

Shedding his suit jacket, Edward begins to roll up the sleeves of his shirt all the while beginning his rambling monologue. "You know, it makes me feel like a bad host for not retrieving you myself. Makes me wish I had been around to give you the official welcome package, you know, show you around, maybe even introduce you to some of the boys. I'm sure they would've loved you, but then again, I always do keep all the nice things to myself."

"You're a sick bastard." Kim mumbles, her head snapping to the side when a hand comes into hard contact with the side of her face. The slap brings involuntary tears to her eyes, though she is determined not to show this man she's afraid of him. "Now you're a sick bastard who hits defenseless women. But that little fact about you doesn't exactly surprise me much."

"You just don't know when to keep your mouth shut. I like it." Edward concludes with a smirk as he pulls on a pair of latex gloves. He makes a show of picking from what appears to be a vast selection before he selects what looks like a clear syringe with a blue liquid on the inside. He removes the safety cap from the syringe and smiles as the tip of the needle practically sparkles under the lap.

Taking something else from the cart tray, he moves across the room where he squats in front of the chair with that same damn smile. "Oh don't worry, it's clean. You see, I'm all about cleanliness and the last thing I would want is to send around any kind of infection. The thought of it makes me want to vomit." Edward states, adding a shudder at the end of his comment. He notices the attorney's eyes not on him but on the object in his hand so he holds it up for her to see. "Oh, I see. You're curious about this? Nothing to worry about. Just a little mix of heroine, amphetamine, or speed as I believe the kids are calling it nowadays. But you know, it also has a little something special that I haven't quite yet come up with a name for. It's a little something my researches have put together. You see, I believe it will sell great on the market, but there's no way that I'm going to use it to see what it does. And what better way to test it out, than on a vulnerable assistant district attorney."

Kim's eyes widen briefly as she realizes his intent when he pulls out an elastic like cord and ties it tightly around her arm. As much as she attempts to trash and get away, her efforts are futile as she soon feels the stick of the needle going into her vein. Immediately there is a strange sensation in her arm that wastes no time in traveling from the tips of her fingers all the way to the top of her shoulder.

"Enjoy the treat, Counselor." Edward taunts with the same smirk as he removes his gloves. "You're the only one it's going to be free for."

**See? No cliffe. Leave your thoughts! **


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: Thank you guys for your patience, we've both been very busy. **

Kim felt as if her body was on fire from the inside and her heart was racing faster than she thought possible. She was trying to fight the temptation to close her eyes simply because she was afraid she wouldn't be able to open them again. As her head slumped forward once more she, prayed harder than she had ever prayed in her life that help would come only for her head to snap up as she heard a familiar husky voice.

"A-Abbie?" Whispered Kim.

"Look at you, look at how weak you are." Relied Abbie.

"No, no, I'm not weak...why are you saying that?"

"You know, I've never loved you; how could I?" Sneered Abbie as she paced the small room.

"No! Abbie please I love you. No don't say that, please Abbie, please." Cried Kim.

"Alex was a better lawyer than you'll ever be. Serena is prettier than you. You're worthless. You're pathetic. You're fat, ugly, hideous even." Taunted Abbie.

Kim found herself tugging desperately at her restraints to get to her girlfriend. "No! No! This isn't real. YOU'RE NOT REAL! ABBIE LOVES ME. SHE LOVES ME." she screamed, her voice echoing back at her as she lost her battle to stave off the darkness.

* * *

By ten the following morning there was still no sign of Kim or her car, and Abbie had only eventually fallen asleep after Melinda gave her a mild sedative. Slipping out if her friend's bedroom, Casey heard Liv and Fin in conversation.

"I've arranged details for Carmichael, Serena and you Counselor."

"Thanks Fin." Replied Liv her voice full of tiredness and frustration, "How can we have no leads, no witnesses and no idea where to start looking? Why go after Kim she's not even on the damn case anymore!"

"I don't know, maybe they think going after Kim will get Abbie and Casey to back off. We'll get 'em Liv, I promise." Replied Fin.

"God, I hope so." Replied Liv.

"You should go and get some rest Liv; you look tired." Said Casey as she flopped down on the couch.

"I can't imagine why." Snapped Liv.

"Sorry I spoke." Mumbled Casey.

"She always gets like that when she's frustrated; don't take it personally...Although you do have a habit of stating the obvious." Muttered Alex from the other end of the couch.

Suppressing the urge to roll her eyes at the blonde Casey rested her head back against the arm of the sofa, "So what do we so now?"

Dragging a hand through her hair Liv replied, "I don't know."

"I'll go grab Munch and re-canvas the stores Kim last visited." Offered Fin, "Liv, Cabot and Greylek…their our people and we won't rest until Kim's home safe and Alex's killer is cooling his heels in jail."

"What they're not going to rough him up?" Questioned Alex with a quirked eyebrow, "There was me hoping Elliot would be in one of his moods when they caught his ass."

Casey forgot herself and let lose a small chuckle, seeing Liv and Fin look at her she blushed, "I was thinking he probably won't be sitting comfortably if Stabler is the one to at him."

"I'll give him a hand." Replied Fin heading towards the door with Olivia to make sure the protective detail was in place.

"Me too" Offered Alex.

"Terrifying." Muttered Casey behind her hand.

"You have no idea how hard it is growing up blonde with glasses, it makes you scrappy." Replied Alex.

"Scrappy?" Questioned Casey.

"Yes. Scrappy." Replied Alex.

"There was me thinking you Cabots paid people to be scrappy for you." Smirked Casey.

"Ass." Muttered Alex.

Before Casey could reply Liv walked back into the lounge and dropped tiredly into a chair, "When you leave two officers will go with you, there will be two outside your apartment with a patrol car opposite. They will accompany you everywhere, no arguments, no exceptions understand?"

"Of course Detective." Replied Casey with a sigh.

"Good."

"I can stay, if you want to go get some rest?" Offered Casey knowing neither of them wanted to leave Abbie alone.

"Sure, I'll be back this evening and we can trade." Relied Liv after a spending a few minutes considering Casey's offer.

"No problem." Smiled Casey. "Olivia, I know you don't like me very much but Abbie is my oldest friend so I want you to know; if I knew anything, anything at all that would help I'd tell you. I'm not involved in this; it was just crappy timing that I arrived as all this was starting."

"I believe you're not involved but I don't believe you when you say you're not holding something back." Replied Liv as she stood and stretched, "For what it's worth I don't dislike you, like you said it's just crappy timing. I'll see you at six and I'll bring food."

"Will you keep me updated?"

"Of course." Replied Liv.

Hearing the door close behind the detective Casey went to check on Abbie. Seeing she was still asleep she headed back into the lounge and curled up on her friend's couch, "If you can find me, do you think you can find Kim?"

"I've been trying to picture her all day, but nothing happens. It's like I'm hardwired to you and you alone." Replied Alex, staring out of the window.

"It's going to be okay." Yawned Casey, her eyes drifting closed in an attempt to ward off her headache. Feeling the sofa dip she gave a moan of pleasure as she felt someone gently stroke her hair.

"Sleep, I'll wake you if Abbie stirs." Ordered Alex softly.

"'Kay." Whispered Casey her voice heavy with sleep.

As Alex watched Casey sleep she found herself longing to feel Casey's arms wrapped around her, the curve of Casey's body pressed against her, her breath on her neck, to feel loved and wanted. The longing was so deep it almost brought her to tears; she had wasted her life in pursuit of her career and now she was dead and she had found a woman she would happily settle down with. Someone to take walks in the park with; spend Friday nights watching movies or Saturday nights making love and Sunday mornings sharing the paper.

Why couldn't she have just left the case alone? Now not only was her life over, her friend was missing and possibly dead and it was all her fault. If only she hadn't been so stubborn she wouldn't have hurt her parents or her friends. As she looked down at Casey asleep on the couch she realized she needed to do something to stop Casey from getting hurt by her presence.

* * *

Kim was pulled from her slumber by a torrent of cold water, making her gasp and pull against her restraints.

"How nice of you to wake up and join us. I trust you had a pleasant...trip?"

"Screw you." Hissed Kim.

"If you'd like." Replied Edward in a jovial tone, as he drew the liquid into the syringe.

"Please." Whispered Kim, "Please, please just let me go."

"Back to Abbie? We heard you calling her name. Think she would trade places with you?"

"Don't you fucking go near her, I'll kill you." Growled Kim, pulling against her restraints until a hand was pressed to her throat closing off her air supply.

"Enough!" Replied Edward with one last squeeze before pulling his hand away.

"Please…I'm not even on the case anymore." Whispered Kim hating how weak her voice sounded.

"Who is?" Asked Edward his fingers edging closer to the buttons on Kim's shirt.

"Casey, Casey Novak." Replied Kim the drugs, mixing with the fear, pain and dehydration making her mind fuzzy.

"And where can we find her."

"Not telling." Replied Kim in a sing song voice only to receive a hard slap to the side of her face.

Grabbing the woman's chin in his hand until she whimpered in pain Edward dropped his voice, "I will find her, drag her here and make you watch as I kill her, then I will make you watch while me and that girlfriend of yours have some fun, if and only if you behave will I make their deaths quick. Now, where can I find her?"

"I don't know her address, I swear." Replied Kim.

"If I find out you lied, I'll make you beg for death." Yanking up Kim's sleeve he tied the cord around her arm.

"Please. Please don't." Begged Kim, knowing it was useless as she felt the stab of the needle.

Hearing the door slam closed, Kim whispered, "Oh Casey I'm so sorry." Her eyes drifting closed as the welcoming darkness closed over her.

Casey woke up to the sound of movement, sitting up she noticed she was alone until a bleary eyed Abbie stumbling in to the lounge, "Hi, you feeling okay?"

"Has there been any news?" Asked Abbie.

"Nothing, Liv's coming back at six and she's bringing food." Replied Casey looking at her watch shocked to see how long she had slept.

"I'm not hungry." Replied Abbie drawing her knees up to her chest.

"I know sweetie, but you need to take care of yourself, for when Kim comes home."

"What if she's dead?" Asked Abbie her voice empty of all emotion.

"Abbie...don't talk like that. Kim's a fighter; she's going to be okay." Replied Casey. They lapsed into tense silence.

Hearing a knock at the door Casey went to answer it as she had persuaded Abbie to take a shower, checking the peephole she saw Olivia on the other-side, "Hi Liv, any news?"

"Nothing concrete." Replied Liv.

As the detective dished up the Chinese food she had brought Casey took the opportunity to study her, she looked as if she had slept and changed her clothes but she still looked as if she had the weight of the world on her shoulders. "You okay Liv?"

"I'm fine, just want to find these bastards and bring Kim home." Replied Liv forcing a small smile to her face.

"How's Serena doing?"

"Not good, she's just started to cope with losing Alex and now this. I don't know what to do for her. I'm hoping Abbie will come home with me tonight so I can keep an eye on both of them."

"Abbie can always stay with me or I'll get some stuff and come back here, Serena needs you." Offered Casey putting a comforting hand on the detective's arm.

"Abbie is fine by herself." Injected Abbie making both women jump slightly as they hadn't hear her come into the room.

"Abbie, we just want to be here for you." Replied Casey.

"I'm fine. I just want Kim home safe." Replied the southern attorney.

"We're doing our best." Said Liv.  
"I know." Replied Abbie.

"Let's eat, I know you're not hungry but just try a bit." Smiled Liv.

After a quiet meal in which the food was pushed around plates and no effort at conversation was made Casey borrowed some sweats from Abbie and accompanied by her protection detail headed back to her apartment.

Walking in Casey hoped Alex would be waiting for her. She had missed her, as strange as that sounded, but there was something warm about the blondes presence. Pouring a glass of wine Casey decided to take a bath. Flicking on her iPod she hummed along to whatever was playing as she let the warm water sooth her muscles. Stepping out she pulled on her pajamas and headed back into the lounge, giving a small scream she dropped her glass, when she saw Alex by the window.

"Jesus!" Muttered Casey.

"Nope, still just me." Replied Alex with a small smirk.

Hearing a knock at the door Casey threw a glare at Alex as she went to answer it, seeing the female half of her protection detail she smiled, "Hi, everything okay?"

"We heard a smash and wanted to make sure you're okay." Replied the brunette with a warm smile.

"I'm fine, I dropped a glass." Replied Casey with a smile

"Okay, let me clean it up for you."

"Not necessary Officer…?"

"Officer Macintosh, but my friends call me Mac and it's no trouble. I have boots on and your bare footed, just point me in the direction of your dustpan and broom."

Ten minutes later the glass had been swept up, "Thank you Mac, you sure I can't get you a coffee or something?" Asked Casey walking towards the door.

"Positive, maybe once this is over we can go for a drink?" Offered Mac.

"Shouldn't she be watching your back and not your ass?" Snarked Alex.

"Jealous?" Asked Casey.

"Excuse me?" Asked Mac with a polite smile.

"Sorry, yeah maybe. Just stay safe tonight." Replied Casey.

"And you Miss Novak."

"Casey, my name…it's Casey. Miss Novak makes me feel old." Replied Casey.

"Oh come on all this flirting is making me want to kill myself." Muttered Alex.

"You're certainly not old; see you in the morning Casey." Smiled Mac her hand lingering on Casey's arm.

Saying goodnight Casey closed the door and headed in to the kitchen. Making a cup of tea, she could see Alex pacing in front of the TV, sitting down Casey asked, "You okay?"

"Fine." Replied Alex.

"Okay, well I'm here if you want to talk." Replied Casey, sipping her tea as silence fell between them.

"I want you to go and live your life." Whispered Alex, breaking the silence between them.

Looking up, Casey asked, "Alex..."

"I said, I want you to go and live your life. Me being here...stops that. You deserve to be happy, to love someone who can give you a family and all the things you deserve. Mac is the kind of person you should be spending Saturday nights with, not me."

"I am living my life, I like having you around. Why are you saying this?" Demanded Casey with a raised eyebrow.

"You can't love a ghost." Replied Alex in a bitter tone.

Casey walked to where Alex was sitting on the couch, "Says who?"

"Casey..." Whispered Alex her voice full of longing.

"I know it's not normal and I know it's odd but..." Started Casey, only to be cut off by Alex.

"DON'T, don't say it please." Begged Alex.

"Alex..."

"NO! You can't love someone you can't touch, you can't love someone when you're the only one who sees them and you can't love someone there is no future with. You're supposed to be together until death do us part, not start at that point. So you don't get to say those words, because if you do...I won't be able to walk away and I'll hurt you and I don't want to do that. Forgive me."

"Alex...please.." Whispered Casey.

"Close your eyes." Whispered Alex, seeing Casey about to protest she added, "Please, for me."

Closing her eyes Casey wanted to argue but knew it wouldn't do her any good. Her thoughts were interrupted by a light pressure against her lips, opening her eyes she was sad but not surprised to find herself alone.

Despite being alone she whispered, "I think I'm falling for you." To the empty room.

* * *

After a restless weekend, Casey dragged herself into the office with Kim still missing she was solely responsible for SVU, something she prayed she would be able to manage. She hadn't seen Alex since their conversation on Friday and she felt as if there was a part of her missing. Burying herself in paperwork she tried to push all thoughts of Alex out of her mind as she familiarized herself with Kim's cases. The morning passed quickly, before it was time to head to court for a suppression hearing.

Stepping out on to the court steps after two hours in a small room with a smug defense attorney Casey smiled gratefully at Mac who handed her a large cup of coffee, "You're a life saver."

"You looked tired so...not that you don't look nice...I mean.." Offered Mac before stuttering to a stop at Casey's soft laugh. "Sorry."

"Don't be, thank you for the coffee and the compliment." Smiled Casey, as she felt something splash in her face, blinking owlishly she was suddenly knocked to the floor.

"Stay down." Hissed Elliott.

Casey was watching as the spilt coffee edged towards a red liquid that her brain refused to acknowledge as blood.

"Get up, come on move." Ordered Elliott dragging her back towards the court house, his gun tirade on the crowd in front of them.

Once inside Casey sank down on to a chair, "What happened?"

"Sniper." Replied Elliott, "Are you hurt?"

"I spilt my coffee." Replied Casey with a frown.

"Casey, are you hurt?" Asked Olivia appearing in front of them.

"I don't know." Replied Casey.

"How's Macintosh?" Asked Elliott.

"Alive, she must have turned her head at the exact moment the bullet struck." Replied Liv.

"I'll get with Fin and canvas." Replied Elliott, "I'll keep you posted."

Once Elliot had left Olivia pulled Casey to her feet, "Come on let's get you cleaned up."

"What happened?" Asked Casey, wincing as the soap got in the grazes on her hands.

"Someone took a shot at you, Officer Macintosh got hit." Replied Liv handing Casey a wad of paper towels.

"Oh God! Is she?..." Asked Casey.

"She was alive when they loaded her in the bus." Offered Liv in a kind voice.

"I've never seen anyone shot before." Whispered Casey.

"Let's get you back to your apartment." Replied Liv as the exited the rear of the courthouse and into a waiting SUV.

Arriving back at her apartment Casey went to the bathroom to re-wash her face and change her clothes. Coming back, she hands Liv her shirt and skirt before asking, "Has there been any news?"

"Not yet. What where you and Mac talking about?" Asked Liv.

"I-I don't remember." Replied Casey digging the heels of her hands into her eyes.

"Well remember." Snapped Liv.

"My best friend is in bits because her girlfriend is missing, I've been here less than a month, I'm using a dead woman's office and I've just been shot at. So forgive me Detective, if I'm a little out of sorts right now. Maybe you should be out there looking Kim and for the people responsible for killing Alex rather than harassing me." Snapped Casey.

"I'm sorry, I know it's not been easy but we need to know exactly what happened." Replied Liv softening her voice.

"I'm sorry, I've never seen anyone shot before." Replied Casey dropping into her chair all the fight leaving her as she began to shake.

Walking across the room Liv placed a comforting hand on the younger woman's shoulder until the shaking subsided, "I'll get you some water." Offered Liv in a soft voice, leaving the room for less than a minute before returning with a glass of water. "Here, drink this."

"I'm sorry." Replied Casey as she took a sip of the water, "She brought me a coffee and then I was on the ground."

"Okay.." Liv was cut off by the ringing of her cell phone. "Benson...where?" The color draining from Olivia's face as she listened to the Cragen. "Do we have an ID?...I'm on my way."

Hanging up she looked at Casey, "Brooklyn patrol pulled a body from the river…it matches Kim's description."

"Oh God." Muttered Casey.

**Leave your thoughts? **


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: This came out much longer than I thought it would. Anyway, here it is. **

Approaching what is considered to be the crime scene, Olivia finds her heart practically frozen in her throat, though she doesn't let it show on her face. Slowly, she makes her way over to Melinda who is crouched over the body retrieved from the river and she prepares herself from the worst. "What've we got, Mel?"

"A poor innocent young woman who was a victim of awful circumstances." Melinda replies with a sad shake of her head as she glances up at the detective.

Taking a deep breath, Olivia looks at the body full on for the first time before she frowns deeply as she sees the woman's face is practically beaten off. "How are you going to be able to ID her?"

Holding up a wallet, Melinda opens it to pull out a driver's license. "Her driver's license identifies her as Kim Greylek," she begins, holding up her hand as she sees the paled look on Olivia's face. "But her body says otherwise."

Pulling on a pair of latex gloves, Olivia takes the driver's license from Melinda, recognizing it as Kim's before she gives the doctor a confused look. "I don't understand. You can't even see her face, she was so badly beaten."

"I've been at this a while." Melinda responds before pointing towards the license. "From my own personal knowledge and the small aid of the driver's license, I know that Kim is approximately five foot nine inches. This woman here couldn't be no more than five-four."

"So it's a decoy." Olivia nods as a sigh of relief escapes her lips before she remembers that an innocent woman has lost her life. "They killed this woman and planted Kim's ID on her."

"And her body is so badly beaten that there would be no way to visually identify her. Which means that everyone would give up on looking for Kim." Melinda finishes off with a nod of confirmation. "These guys are clever, smart and they think things out, but they slipped up with this woman because of the noticeable height difference."

Nodding silently, Olivia pulls her phone from her pocket, quickly dialing a number before she places the device to her ear. "Hey, Casey…yeah, I made it her…no, it's not her. You can tell Abbie that she can breathe again…don't worry, we're still looking…alright, bye." Ending the conversation, she slips her phone back into her pocket before she sighs quietly, looking down at the poor young woman. "When will you be able to get an ID on who she is?"

"I'll know when I get her on my table." Melinda responds as she proceeds to zip up the body bag. "I'll take swabs of DNA and then see if I can go from there."

"Great. In the mean time I'll head to the hospital." Liv responds, turning to head back to her car.

Melinda stands from her crouching position as her eyes narrow in confusion. "The hospital? Who's in the hospital?"

Freezing, Olivia catches her slip up and she slowly looks over her shoulder with a small shrug. "Just a friend." She responds before quickly making her way to the car before anymore questions can be asked by the otherwise confused doctor."

Approximately fifteen minutes later, Olivia finds herself seated in a small chair next to one of her closet friends who has still yet to move since the day she was admitted.

"You have no idea how much everyone misses you." she whispers quietly as she gently strokes the blonde's hand. "You're a fighter Al, and I believe that you're gonna pull out of this. I'm not trying to sound like a selfish ass here, but I need you to come back. I miss you like crazy, hell, like I said, everyone misses you like crazy. Serena still tells me stories from when you were a kid, and I know how much you miss listening to me and Abbie argue over the latest baseball game or whatever is on at the time. Even the guys miss you although being the 'toughies' that they are, none of them want to openly show their grief. And Kim…well, Kim's in trouble, but I know that she's going to be alright; if there's anything that she's learned from you it's to fight and not give up. Even Novak misses you, and from what I've heard the two of you hadn't even spent that much time with each other. See Alex? That's the kind of impact that you have on people. You just walk into a room and everyone is just suddenly drawn to you. I know you're ready to come home; you just gotta try a little harder. I believe in you."

* * *

"You look pretty damn pathetic right now." A crisp cold voice breaks the silence and Kim finds herself blinking rapidly to find its owner.

Her head feels like it was about five million tons as she finally manages to raise it only to be face to face with a not impressed looking blonde. "Alex?"

Alex snorts bitterly, shaking her head as she puts her hands behind her back and begins to pace, much like she would in a courtroom setting. "Sitting here letting that man take advantage of you. I could've sworn that you managed to pick up on a little more than just letting people walk all over you. It's sickening and it makes me want to vomit."

"You're dead." Kim whispers, shaking her head as she continues to blink, though Alex doesn't seem to fade away.

"Why didn't you help me Kimberly? Why did you let him kill me?"

"There wasn't anything I could do."

"You could've helped me with the case! If you had helped then we would've caught him by now and then I wouldn't be standing here looking at you!"

"You-you didn't tell me about it. I had no idea you were working it. You were also so secretive about the cases you worked alone, I—I didn't know." Kim stammers as she tries to fight the tremor in her voice.

Alex snorts again as she rolls her eyes. "You know that's not true. You could have helped me when I needed you. YOU killed me Kim. YOU did."

"Come on Ali, don't be so hard on her." A new snide voice drawls, as a smirking Serena comes into view where she rests her arm on Alex's shoulder. "You and I both know fairly well that she's a pathetic excuse for a prosecutor. I mean look at her, she could never stand on our level. I bet Branch only hired her out of pity because he knew she wouldn't be able to find a job anywhere else."

Blinking back tears, Kim shakes her head once again as she begins to tugging mercifully at the restraints binding her to the chair even though she knows the idea of getting away is futile. Even if she does manage to break free of the chair, where would she go from there? "Please, help me…please…" she whimpers pleading to the two blondes who only simultaneously laugh in response.

"Look at her Rena, she's begging." Alex teases as she shakes her head. "She should know by now that she never fit in with us."

"We only look out for each other." Serena adds on as her smirk widens. "Ali and I have been together since we were children; why would either of us really want anything to do with you? I know I only started talking to you out of pity, but I quickly found that I was wasting my time."

"You know, Abbie would be much happier with you." Alex brings up as she turns to Serena, giving her a wide smile.

At the mention of her girlfriend, Kim pulls harder against the chair until she feels the ropes cutting gashes into her flesh. "Don't talk about Abbie. She loves me."

Serena tilts her head back, laughing as she places a hand on her hip. "Honey, Abbie only tells you that she loves you." she sneers shaking her head. "Have you even seen the way she looks at me? I mean come on, look at you and then look at me. Just think about it, now I could have both Olivia _and_ Abbie in the palm of my hand. Just think of the things they would do for me."

"No! Don't say that! She wouldn't leave me!" Kim shouts, though her shouts are easily drowned out by the malicious laughs of her two best friends. Closing her eyes, she let's more tears fall only to open them several minutes later to find Alex and Serena gone, but Edward standing in their places with a cold bottle of water in his hand. "Please…I'm thirsty…"

"Really? I think I am a little parched myself." Edward responds, uncapping the bottle before he takes a healthy swig of it. Pulling it away from his mouth, he takes note at how his captive is closely watching the bottle more than she's watching him. "I understand that being down here in this…cold, dark room can be tiring. Maybe I will give you a sip in exchange for something I want…" he trails off, smirking deviously as his hand travels down to the crotch of his pants.

Kim's eyes widen before she shakes her head vigorously. "No…" she mutters, hanging her head as she averts her eyes. "I would never do that for you and I would never do that to Abbie."

Edward clicks his tongue before shaking his head as he finishes off the bottled water. "What a shame. I was looking forward to us spending time together." He tuts before tossing the empty bottle into the corner of the room. "This Abbie you keep talking about…I hear she misses you a lot. It has been two weeks by now after all. Maybe one day I'll let you say hello."

* * *

Casey enters her apartment after her protective details clear the area. Nodding to the two uniforms, she is left alone where she proceeds to her bedroom and dumps hers stuff haphazardly by the door. Flicking on the light, she is a little surprised to find Alex curled up on the left side of her bed with a solemn look of sadness on her face.

"Hey." The redhead says quietly as she takes a seat on the edge of her bed. "It's been two weeks since I've seen you. I was beginning to think you left me."

"I'm not here by choice, I'm just here." Alex responds icily as she sits up and turns her back to the other woman before she stands up and makes her way across the room. "Go on about your day; just pretend that I'm not even here."

Sighing quietly, Casey stands up as she follows Alex to the window. "Alex, you know I can't do that. I won't do that. I like having you here. Why are you pushing me away all of a sudden?"

"Because we can't be like this, Casey!" the blonde exclaims throwing up her hands in frustration. "I already told you! We can't be like this. It's not going to work. I'm dead and you can't waste your life chasing a dead woman. It's psychotic."

"Then I'll be psychotic." Casey responds as she grabs Alex's hand, surprised at how light and cold it feels, but it's there and that's what matters. "I'm falling for you Alex. I think I have been since I first laid eyes on you when I walked into that restaurant. I know this is unorthodox, but it's how things are. I love spending time with you, I love talking to you, I love you just being here to listen to me when I need to talk to someone, I love the fact that we have so much in common even though we come from two different sides of the tracks, I love the fact that you just get me in a way that no one else would, I love y-"

"I already told you, I can't hear you say those words." Alex whispers as what look like tears begin to roll down her cheeks. "I can't even take hearing you say it because I know that it would never be like it's supposed to be. You'd be wasting your time. You know for a fact that you need to go out and live your life. Find someone who is worth spending it with because I am most definitely not worth it Casey. Don't throw everything away just because you feel bad for me."

"Feel bad for you? Alex, no I-…I mean, what happened to you was terrible, but I'm not here because I pity you. I'm here because I have feelings for you and I know I shouldn't, but every moment that we spend together, I find myself looking forward to the next one that we'll have. I find myself thinking about you at all hours of the day, wondering where you are, wondering if you're watching me, what you're doing. I just…I think about you all the time and that's just not going to go away because you say so."

Alex scoffs and shakes her head as she rolls her eyes. "You're being ridiculous." She grumbles as she folds her arms.

"In case you haven't noticed, I'm a ridiculous person." Casey retorts before she reaches out and pulls the other woman into her arms as she wraps her arms tightly around her waist to hopefully prevent her from going anywhere.

"Casey don't…" Alex whispers, not surprised when Casey leans in and kisses her. No, she takes it back. She is thoroughly surprised that she can feel the intensity of the kiss given their different life states, and she is even more surprised when she drifts her eyes shut and begins running her fingers through Casey's hair.

The kiss is cool but warm at the exact same time as Casey feels the blonde press their bodies further together. Breaking the kiss, she pulls Alex closer to her as she rests their foreheads together all the while keeping her eyes closed. "Please…don't leave me…I need you here. Please."

The world's tiniest smile appears on Alex's face and her resolve shatters completely as she gently strokes Casey's cheek with her thumb after listening to the sheer need and sincerity in the other woman's voice.

"I'm not going anywhere…"

* * *

"I can't believe we still have nothing." Olivia grinds out angrily as she continues to pace. She pauses briefly only before she kicks her chair which sends it rolling across the floor which succeeds in drawing the squad room into silence.

"Liv, maybe you should go home…get some rest." Elliot attempts carefully, raising his eyebrows when his partner shoots him a silencing glare.

"I'll rest when I can wrap my hands around this bastard's throat." The female detective snaps as she takes a seat on the corner of her desk and folds her arms tightly. "We've re-canvassed the places Kim was a total of five times and there's no sign of her. The only sign we have of her is her wallet and ID we found on the woman in the river."

"Warner finally made an ID. She said the woman's name was Carrie Jennings." Munch adds in looking up from his computer. "In addition to the beating there were traces of severe sexual assault before she was dumped."

"Any fluids?"

"Nah, the river washed her clean." Fin adds it walking into the room where he leans against his own desk.

Olivia sighs heavily and digs her palms into her tired eyes as she shakes her head. "So we still have nothing. This is crazy. This guy has to get sloppy somewhere." She groans. Pulling her hands away from her eyes, she looks up just in time to see their computer screens as well as the large monitors in the squad room begin to flicker. The screens go blank for a moment before a video image pops up. Looking closer at the image, Olivia's eyes widen as she recognizes the worn woman bound tightly to the chair in the center of the room. "My god that's Kim."

"Morales, can you trace the feed?" Elliot asks, crossing the room to where the tech is typing quickly on the keyboard.

"I'm trying." Morales responds, shaking his head in immediate frustration. "He has it bouncing off of server's all over the world. It'll take hours for me to pinpoint his exact location of even narrow it down for the matter."

"Well turn hours into minutes." Olivia throws over her shoulder as she looks at the screen. Her heart stops when a masked man appears on screen and looks dead into the camera before he smacks Kim hard across her face. "The son of a bitch is taunting us…"

"And he's doing it well." Munch replies, shaking his head as he stares at his own screen. There are several gasps from the squad room when the masked figure smacks the attorney again. "How many computers is this on?"

"All of them. He managed to hack into our server for the feed." Fin replies, completely unable to watch the video.

"I need to make a call." Olivia grumbles, picking up her phone as she leaves the room.

Meanwhile, at the DA's office, the vibration of Abbie's phone falls on deaf ears as said woman stares wide eyed at her computer in front of her. Both of her hands grip the arms of her chair so tight that her knuckles are turning a ghastly white. Tears spring to her eyes as the man looks at the camera once again before he smacks Kim across the face even harder than the first time.

"Abbie don't look at your…" Casey trails off quietly as she enters her friend's office with a doe eyed Serena in tow. "Abbie, don't watch it."

"I have to. I have to make sure she stays alive." Abbie responds in a hoarse whispers, openly shouting 'no' when the man hits Kim so hard a stream of blood escapes her lips. "He's going to kill her."

"Abbie, you-you're torturing yourself." Serena whispers, trying to shut off the computer screen but Abbie shoves her way.

When the man wraps his hand around Kim's neck, Abbie stands from her chair and retreats to the opposite end of her office. "He's going to kill her. Please tell me either of you have heard something…please."

Casey opens and closes her mouth several times before she manages a response. "Olivia called me and said they're trying to trace the feed but they're not having luck. Apparently it's playing all over the 1-6."

"It's playing all over our office as well." Serena explains. "Casey and I both got it and I passed Hardwicke, Rubirosa and West on the way here. It's all on their computers too. He wants us to be watching. It's like he's making fun of us."

Casey shakes her head and turns away as the masked man continues his vicious onslaught on the innocent woman being held against her well. Turning her head, she finds Alex standing in the corner with a hand over her mouth, obviously afraid for her friend much like everyone else.

**Leave your thoughts. **


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N: Think you guys are gonna like this chapter :) enjoy! **

As the screens flickered blank Abbie's loud stream of expletives filled the office as she franticly pressed buttons and hit the monitor anything to bring Kim's image back. Confronted with a still blank screen she threw the monitor to the floor with a resounding thump, followed by the rest of the objects on her desk before her chair was shoved against the wall, sending a large piece of plaster to fall to the floor.

Casting a look at the now empty corner, Casey grabbed her friend's arms and wrestled her down onto the sofa in her office as Serena closed the door to muffle the sound; not that anyone could blame her for her reaction given what they had just witnessed.

"Abbie, you need to calm down." Said Serena as she joined Abbie and Casey on the couch.

"Calm down! Did you not see what that bastard did to her? You want me to calm down? Tell me Serena if that was Liv would you be fucking calm." Replied Abbie her accent thick, her breathing ragged.

"Enough." Spoke Casey in a form voice knowing Abbie would hate herself later if she hurt Serena.

"I know…I'm sorry. That was a stupid thing to say." Replied Serena, "But destroying your office isn't going to help."

"He hurt her, he hit her. What if she's dead?" Whispered Abbie panic making her breathing erratic.

Sharing a concerned look with Serena, Casey dropped to her knees in front of her friend. Taking Abbie's hands in her own she spoke in a firm but kind voice, "Abbie, look at me." Getting no response she sent Serena another worried look before trying again.

"Abigail, look at me. Kim is going to be okay. He screwed up hacking into our internet. The detectives are going to find him and now he's made it personal just think what Stabler will do to him and them I am going to make sure he spends the rest if his life in jail."

"You don't know she's still alive." Replied Abbie, her panic receding slightly as Casey's words reached her.

"I do." Said Serena, "This is Kim we're talking about she's far too stubborn to die and let's face it she is stronger than all of us."

"Alex was strong and he killed her." Replied Abbie.

"That wasn't a fair fight the limp-dicked, son of a bitch hit me with a car." Offered the blonde from her spot sitting on the edge of Abbie's desk.

Suppressing a smile at the sass in Alex's voice Casey decided to paraphrase her explanation, "He hit her with a car Abbs that's not a fair fight."

"I want his head." Growled Abbie.

"You and me both." Replied Alex.

"We all do." Replied Casey.

"I'll call Liv, see if they have anything." Offered Serena, giving Abbie's shoulder a squeeze as she left the room, pulling her phone from her pocket as she went.

"I shouldn't have snapped at her." Whispered Abbie as the door clicked closed behind Serena.

"She understands you didn't mean it." Offered Casey as they lapsed into silence waiting for Serena to return.

Hearing the door open they looked up to see Gillian Hardwicke, "You two need to come with me they have something on Kim's location."

"I'll get Serena." Replied Casey.

"No! I mean she's waiting for Benson. We have to meet Stabler." Replied Hardwicke.

"Let's go." Said Abbie racing out of the door.

* * *

As the video stopped the squad room was silent for a beat before it filled with activity, "Anything?" Asked Liv as she leaned over Morales shoulder.

"I need a few more minutes, there's something off with where the feed originated." Replied the computer tech hitting a few more keys.

"Something off?" Asked Elliott, "What does that mean?"

"Just give me a minute." Replied Morales firing up another screen and replaying the image.

"Kim might not have a minute!" Snapped Liv.

"Okay, okay I have it. The feed originated from office 125 of DA's offices the IP address traces to the computer of Gillian Hardwicke."

"So he hacked Hardwicke first? " Asked Liv.

"It would be almost impossible to hack unless..." He fell silent as he pressed a few more buttons.

"Unless?" Prompted Cragen.

"Unless she let him in." Finished Morales in a quiet voice.

"What are the chances that that's what happened?" Asked Cragen rubbing his forehead.

"Hard to be sure without examining her computer." Replied Morales.

"Okay, I'll call Branch let him know we need her system. Stabler, Benson go with Morales, say it's just SOP to check the system after a breach like this." Ordered Cragen.

"Munch, check out her background, Fin your with me we're going to re-watch the tape see if we can pick out any distinguishing features that let us know where she is."

"Sure thing Cap." Replied the squad as they went about their assigned tasks.

* * *

As Elliott drove Olivia tried calling Serena. Getting her lovers voicemail for the fourth time she tried Casey and then Abbie only to get the same result.

"Everything okay?" Asked Elliott hearing his partner sigh in frustration.

"I can't get hold of Serena, Abbie or Casey." Replied Liv.

"They're probably busy calming Carmichael down. We're almost there; I'll go with Morales you go and check on them." Offered Elliott knowing Liv wouldn't be able to fully focus until she had checked in on Serena, given all that had happened over the last month he couldn't blame her.

"Thanks El." Replied Liv, her knee bouncing in agitation as Elliott pulled into a parking spot.

Heading inside they were met by Donnelly at the elevator, "Hardwicke is gone and so is her computer, I had security pull CCTV and she left once with what looked like her computer and then left a few minutes later accompanied by Novak and Carmichael."

"What about their details?" Asked Elliott.

"I don't know, they weren't on the tape neither was Southerlyn." Replied Donnelly.

"I'll check on Serena, Morales trace their phones." Ordered Liv taking off at a run to her lover's office, finding the door locked she took a step back and rammed her shoulder into it almost tripping over her feet as the door gave way. Looking around she found Serena on the floor and a small trickle of blood near her hair line. Dropping to her knee's she was relieved to feel a pulse, seeing concerned Connie Rubirosa appear in the door she ordered, "Call a bus."

"On it." Replied Rubirosa.

Hearing Serena give a groan Liv spoke softly, "Come on Rena open those big blue eyes."

"Liv? Hardwicke she...she hit me." Murmured Serena.

"I'll find her." Replied Liv.

"Liv, Morales tracked Novak's phone to near the docks and the Captain thinks he has something, Swat is meeting us there."

Before Liv could reply Serena said, "Go. Go bring our friends home and arrest that bastard Cant, I'll be fine."

"You sure?" Asked Liv.

"Positive, just be careful. I love you." Replied Serena trying to smile but failing and giving a grimace instead.

"Love you too." Replied Liv, pressing a soft kiss to Serena's lips she headed out of the door.

"I'll go to the hospital with her." Offered Liz as Liv passed.

"Thank you."

"Make them pay Detectives." Called Liz as Liv and Elliott headed to the lift.

Giving a nod Liv and Elliott raced towards the elevators, "Fill me in?" Asked Liv as she stabbed the button for the car park.

Once they were in the car Elliott explained, "Hardwicke's brother is doing a twenty stretch in Riker's for selling drugs, conspiracy to commit murder and soliciting a minor, he was Cant's right hand man, refused to sell him out even for a walk."

"How did we not know this? We've spent weeks checking through Cant's people?"

"Hardwicke is her mother's maiden name her surname is Makel, Munch checked and one of Cabot's last calls was a five minute call to Hardwicke the night before the accident."

"You think she was involved?" Asked Liv gripping the dash board as Elliott took a corner.

"Seems that way, her brother has a unit at the docks, it's secluded so holding and beating someone wouldn't be noticed, would be easy to move drugs and people and Fin recognized the insignia on the wall behind Kim from his narcotics days."

"Let's hope the bastard resists arrest then." Replied Liv as they lapsed into silence for the rest of the drive.

* * *

Following Hardwicke Casey briefly wondered where their protection detail was her thoughts were interrupted by Alex's voice, "This doesn't feel right."

"I agree." Muttered Casey. "Gillian, we should wait for our details." Called Casey.

"They won't be coming." Replied Gillian as they reached a black SUV, pulling a gun she pointed it at Casey, "Get in or Kim dies."

"You?" Asked Abbie stepping forward only to feel someone grab the back of her shirt she frowned and turned expecting it to be Casey, her frown deepening when she saw it wasn't and there was no one there.

Casey's heart was in her mouth as she watched Alex grip the back of Abbie's shirt in an attempt to hold her back. "Abbie take a breath." Pleaded Casey.

"This office screwed my family over. Now get in or else." Ordered Gillian the gun aimed steadily at Casey's heart.

"Okay, okay, just calm down." Said Casey as she climbed in followed by Abbie and Alex, the blonde almost in her lap.

"Casey." Whispered Alex her voice fearful.

"It's going to be okay." Replied Casey, not sure who she was trying to convince.

"Put these on." Ordered Gillian tossing two sets of cuffs at the women as she started searching Abbie for a cell phone.

"It's on my desk and if your hand wanders any lower you'll have to buy me a ring." Snarked Abbie.

"Fine." Replied Gillian turning her attention to Casey.

Slipping her cell phone it the crease of the seat Casey stayed still as Gillian frisked her before she clicked the cuffs around her wrists as Abbie did the same.

"Good, let's go see Kimmy." Starting the ignition she added, "Just incase you're thinking of trying something, I should warn you if we don't arrive in the next half an hour Kim will die and it won't be quick."

"I'm going to tear your head off." Growled Abbie.

"No, you're going to behave like a good little redneck or your girlfriend will die slowly and painfully."

Before Abbie could reply Casey shook her head, "Leave it, please."

"Fine." Growled Abbie setting her jaw as the SUV pulled into traffic.

Casey found herself praying Serena would find them missing and someone would trace her phone and the car would be near where ever they were being taken. Knowing they were in for a more thorough search when they arrived wherever it was they were being taken.

"Her brother is one of Cant's men." Blurted Alex. "I forgot until just now, I-I told her I knew the night before I was, I was...you know."

"Great." Muttered Casey, seeing Abbie give her a confused look she shrugged her shoulders, "Great start to the weekend."

"Sorry, did you have a hot date?" Asked Abbie, rolling her eyes.

"Living through it was top of my list." Muttered Casey as they fell silent.

After driving for twenty minutes the car came to a stop outside a rundown looking factory on the edge of the docks. Sharing a look with Abbie as the door was opened and they were roughly dragged out of the car, as she was pushed against the car and frisked Casey bit her lip to hold back a whimper of distaste as rough hands brushed against her breasts.

"Get your hand off of her." Growled Alex giving the man frisking Casey a shove causing him to stagger.

"What the..." Muttered the guy righting himself.

"Watch your step." Muttered Casey only to receive a hard slap to the side of the face opening a small cut on her cheek.

"Get them inside." Called Edward Cant, greeting Abbie and Casey as if they were old friends, "Ladies, how lovely to meet you. Come inside and we'll have a reunion."

"Kim's alive?" Asked Abbie.

"For now." Replied Cant.

"If you..." Started Abbie.

"Don't." Muttered Casey.

"I'd listen to Miss Novak if I was you Abbie; I can call you Abbie can't I? It's just I feel I know you after all Kim has told me about you." Showing them into a room he flicked on the lights illuminating a large window, showing Kim unconscious and bound to a chair.

"KIM!" Called Abbie banging on the glass.

"Sit down Abbie and you'll be reunited." Ordered Cant a sadistic smile on his face.

"Can you make sure she's alive?" Whispered Casey to the blonde standing next to her, seeing Alex nod, the blonde disappeared for less than a minute.

"It's bad but she's alive." Said Alex as she rejoined them in the room.

"Thank god." Muttered Casey.

"I'm sure you're wondering why I brought you here..."

"Because you're a sick fuck?" Injected Abbie.

Giving Abbie a smile Cant pressed a button and they watched in horror as Kim began to convulse in the chair, "Electric shocks aren't good for people with weakened bodies, so behave or I'll give her another...buzz. "

"NO!" Shouted Abbie, "What do you want?"

"That's better, let's keep this…friendly. I want the flash drive Miss Cabot so lovingly compiled about me."

"We don't have it the police do." Replied Casey.

"Well that's not going to work; I guess I'll just have to kill you both." Replied Can't standing and pulling a gun from his trousers.

As he clicked off the safety the room went dark, "Get down." Ordered Alex.

Pushing Abbie down on the floor they listen to the sounds of heavy footsteps and gun shots, neither moving until the lights came back on and they heard Liv's voice, "Casey, Abbie?"

"Here, we're here." Called Casey sitting up, looking around she saw Cant on the floor a bullet hole in his forehead and several Swat officers.

"Thank god." Replied Liv undoing their cuffs.

"Kim." Called Abbie rushing towards the door separating them from Kim, "It's locked."

"Move." Ordered Elliott as he aimed a hard kick at the door, it took three kicks to finally open it.

Rushing to Kim's side Abbie felt for a pulse relieved to feel a steady rhythm under her fingertips. As Elliot untied Kim's hands, they were both taken by surprise when Kim suddenly grabbed the gun from Elliott holster and pointed it at them.

"Kim...Kim put the gun down its me. It's Abbie."

"No! You're not real! It's a trick!" Replied Kim the gun shaking in her hand.

"It's me, Kim I promise it's me. I'm here." Replied Abbie keeping her hands above her shoulders.

"NO! PLEASE NO MORE. I JUST WANT IT TO STOP." Yelled Kim bringing the gun to rest against the side of her head.

Swallowing her panic Abbie tried again, "Kim it's me I can prove it...you remember our first date? We went to that Italian restaurant but you didn't like the waitress because she had too much perfume on so we ended up in a burger bar. Or the night we stayed up watching the meteor shower and you told me that secretly loved the Twilight books and that time you wrote 'Property of Kimberly Greylek' on my softball shirt because that guy from white collar kept chatting me up."

"No, no, you don't love me you want Serena."

"Serena?" Asked Abbie sending Casey a confused look.

"Alex told me, she said you would be better off with Serena."

"Alex?"

"I told her she was dead and she said, she said it was all my fault. It wasn't, it wasn't my fault. I didn't know she was in trouble! I couldn't save her!"

"Kim, none of that was real. I promise. Put the gun down, please baby put the gun down."

Dropping the gun Kim slumped down to the floor. Pulling the shaking woman into her arms Abbie very gently lifted a pale hand and placed it over her own heart, "You feel that? That's my heart beating for you. It's real and I'm here. I missed you so much. I love you; I was so fucking afraid I'd lost you."

"Abbie, it's really you?" Asked Kim her voice soft and full of fear.

"It's really me and I promise I won't leave your side, okay?" Replied Abbie trying to hold back her own tears.

"Okay."

"Abbs the bus is here."

"Okay, thanks Liv. Let's get you to the hospital."

"You won't leave me?"

"Not for a second." Replied Abbie, lifting Kim into her arms and following Olivia towards the ambulance, concerned with how light her lover was.

* * *

Arriving at the hospital Casey was ushered into a room to get her cheek looked at while Abbie went with Kim. As she waited for the doctor, Casey was disappointed Alex wasn't with her. As the doctor put three stitches in her side Casey told Olivia what had happened.

"So it was Hardwicke passing him information?"

"Yep, she's in custody so it's finally over." Replied Liv with a tired smile.

"Good. Any news on Kim?" Asked Casey.

"They sedated her she has a lot of minor injuries, dehydration and a cocktail of drugs in her system. Physically the doctors think she will make a full recovery."

"I'll call in and check on her before heading home." Yawned Casey.

Knocking lightly on the door of Kim's room she smiled at Abbie who was holding Kim's hand, "How is she?"

"Asleep, they need to replace her fluids. Lots of cuts and bruises, fractured wrist and she's malnourished, but she's alive and she's going to be okay. They ran a rape kit, no fluids but that doesn't mean..." Relied Abbie, biting her lip.

Pulling her friend close as she cried tears of anger and relief Casey forced a smile to her face, "She has you to help her through and the rest of us. She's not alone and neither are you."

"Thanks Case." Whispered Abbie.

Two hours later Casey stood and stretched, "I'll be back in the morning."

"Thanks Casey and thank you for everything you've done over the last few weeks, I'll make it up to you."

"Nothing to make up, we're friends and that's what friends do. Try and get some rest."

"I will." Promised Abbie.

Before leaving the hospital Casey checked in on Mac, pleased to find the young officer was out of immediate danger and on the road to recovery. Arriving home she poured a large Scotch and took a long bath, hearing movement in her bedroom she smiled as she recognized them as the noise Alex's heels made on her bedroom floor.

"That's a nice sight." Smiled Casey as she walked out of the bathroom, seeing Alex relaxing against the pillows.

"How's Kim?" Asked Alex in reply.

"Sedated. Is going to take a while but she has Abbie and she will get through this." Replied Casey.

"I'm sorry about your face." Replied Alex tracing a light finger over the cut on Casey's cheek.

"It's okay, you couldn't help the green eyed monster that took over." Smirked Casey.

"Well he was copping a feel." Grinned Alex.

"Well, in the future that right is reserved for you and you alone." Replied Casey, giving a sigh of contentment as she reclined against the pillows.

"You do know you're crazy right? There's no way this can work, I'm dead and you're not. Unless you want to spend your life being known as the crazy lady who talks to herself!"

"I've been called worse." Replied Casey with a shrug, "Besides it's worth it to have you in my life."

"At least you have a life." Muttered the blonde.

Rolling her eyes Casey reached for Alex's hand the coolness no longer surprising her, "We're both smart women we can work this out. Just give me a chance, I love you."

"I love you too." Whispered Alex before disappearing.

"Alex?" Called Casey, sighing sadly when she received no reply.

* * *

"Hello Miss Cabot, welcome back to the land of the living." Smiled the doctor as he looked into the blue eyes of his patient for the first time.

**We both share a mutual distaste for Hardwicke, so this worked out perfectly. Anyhow, leave your thoughts!**


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N: Another chapter for you. Hope you enjoy!**

Alex's blurred vision comes into focus and she is able to make out the smiling doctor standing over her. Blinking rapidly, she sits straight up in the bed as she immediately begins tugging at the IV capable and monitors attached to her person.

"Whoa! Wait, you can't do that." The doctor exclaims, placing a hand on the blonde woman's shoulder, completely surprised at her sudden burst of energy. "Calm down."

"I want…out." Alex croaks, clearing her throat for not having used it for god knows how long. As the doctor attempts to touch her again, she shoves him away before she continues ripping off the various attachments. She only pauses when the door opens to admit a wide eyed Olivia and a woman in a suit that she has never seen before. "Olivia…?"

"Alex…" the detective exhales, making her way over to the bed while Sarah moves to aid the doctor who managed to hit his head from Alex's firm shove. "Thank god you're awake. I know you must be feeling scared right now, but I really need you to calm down and do what the doctor says."

Blinking owlishly, Alex turns back towards the almost frightened looking doctor before she makes eye contact with the woman she's never seen before. "Who are you?" she asks, her eyebrows furrowing into a small frown of curiosity.

Sarah is silent for a moment before she realizes that she was the one being addressed and she straightens herself out and clears her throat. "Sarah Krieger, Ma'am. I'm with the US Marshalls."

"Marshalls?" the slightly dazed attorney echoes as she looks to her friend for answers. "Olivia what happened?"

"It will all be explained soon, Al, but I really need you to listen to the doctor for right now." Olivia answers, gently placing her hand on Alex's shoulder where she guides her back down to the bed.

After the doctor does a few brief examinations, he leaves the room, declaring that he is just going to run a few tests which in turn eaves the three women in the quieted room enough time to talk and sort things out.

"What the hell is going on?" Alex demands as she drags her stiff arms through her hair, scowling when she finds it tangled and matted as if it hasn't been touched for months. Wait… "How long was I out?"

"A while…" Sarah speaks up as she places her hands into her pockets. "The case you were trying against Edward Cant and his ring, his men got to you. They had you hit with a car in an attempt on your life, but the US Marshall Service had you pronounced dead so they would no longer come after you."

Frowning deeply, Alex slowly begins to piece things back together though they are coming a little slow. "I vaguely remember that. I remember crossing the street and then nothing."

"Do you remember anything else that happened earlier that day?" Olivia asks as she takes the other woman's hand in her own.

"No…I remember a bunch of darkness, and Olivia's voice and…" Alex responds quietly, frown still firmly in place as she tries to remember. Something clicks in her mind and her head snaps up as she looks the two women dead in their faces. "Wait, you said that you had me pronounced dead. You have everyone thinking that I am dead?!"

Wincing at the coldness in the woman's voice, Sarah hangs her head as she rubs at the back of her neck. "It was the only way to secure your safety. They had already tried to kill you once and Cant was a very powerful man. If he knew that you were alive then nothing would've stopped him from killing you. It was only done in best interest of your safety."

"But you have nothing to worry about now." Olivia speaks up giving Alex's hand a gentle squeeze. "Cant is dead and everyone involved with him has been taken into police custody. We found out that Gillian Hardwicke was feeding him information from your office."

"I knew there was something off about her…" Alex mumbles, shaking her head as there is something sitting in the back of her mind that she can't exactly seem to remember. Accepting the water that Olivia offers her, she sighs quietly before shaking her head once more. "I'm just glad that it's finally over. I'm just not sure how everyone who thinks I'm dead is going to take the news…"

"If anything, they should be thrilled." Sarah responds, before turning her attention to Liv. "Detective, can I speak to you outside for a moment."

Olivia nods her head as she sends Alex a reassuring smile before she stands up and follows the Marshall out into the hallway where Sarah motions for her to walk with her. "What's going on?"

"I cannot thank you enough for being the one to bring Cant down." Sarah says, her tone filled with gratitude. "I know this is extremely unprofessional, but when you took him down, were there any other casualties than him?"

"Your brother was retrieved trying to flee with a small group of Cant's goons." Olivia responds, knowing exactly what Sarah was asking her about, though she hadn't exactly said the words out loud. "He has been taken in and much like the others, he'll await trial. There's no doubt in my mind that he'll get the max. Unless his other crimes say otherwise…"

"Where he could possibly face the death penalty." Sarah responds with a nod as she lets out a puff of air. "I always knew that he would fall in with the wrong crowd, and I knew this day would come. I just wanted to ask because I needed something to tell my mother. She's so worried about him and I've been worried that she was going to drive herself to a heart attack. At least now she can relax…sort of."

"I understand and I admire your strength." Olivia states, giving the taller woman a small smile.

Clearing her throat of any emotions, the Marshall nods her head as she extends her hand to the detective. "Well, like I said, I cannot thank you enough for taking down Cant. If you ever need anything, please do not hesitate to let me know, and know that you always have a friend in me."

Smiling as she shakes the woman's hand, Olivia nods once again. "And to you as well." She says politely as they slowly make their way down the hall towards Alex's room.

Stepping into the room, both women freeze in their tracks when they once again find the machines disconnected, only this time, the sheets from the bed are halfway on the floor as the bed is empty along with the rest of the room.

* * *

"NO!" Kim shouts as she continues to fight off Edward's hands attempting to grab her rests. Tears leak from her eyes as she shakes her head before she begins violently kicking her feet as she attempts to get away from her kidnapper. "Let me go!"

"Kim stop struggling!" Edward responds as he doesn't release his hold on her wrists.

"No! I won't do it!" Kim continues to scream, freeing a hand just in time to punch him hard across the face which causes him to yell in pain and release his hold. The momentum of her punch causes her to tumble backwards before her back comes into contact with the floor though her feet are still caught by restraints.

Blinking rapidly, she recognizes the ceiling as the ceiling of her bedroom, along with the carpeted floor at her back and she realizes that said 'restraints' are simply her feet tangled in the bed sheets. Detangling herself, she continues to pant semi-hysterically as she hears groaning above her. Slowly, she peeks over the bed, only to gasp when she sees a familiar silhouetted figure clutching their jaw. "Abbie…"

Abbie takes her hand away from the side of her face though she can still taste blood from where her teeth scraped the inside of her mouth when Kim hit her. "Hey, are you okay?"

"Are you okay?" Kim echoes, taking note of the blood on her lover's shirt. "Oh my god you're bleeding. What happened?"

"You woke up screaming and hitting me and when I tried to calm you down, you hit me. It doesn't hurt." Abbie says quickly as she scrambles to the other side of the bed where she tries to help Kim off the floor but her hands are pushed away. "Baby, I swear it doesn't hurt."

"I hit you." Kim whispers as she stands up and begins vigorously pacing the room all the while repeatedly uttering 'no' under her breath. Her hands grip her hair tightly and her hands begin to shake as she shakes her head. "I hurt you. I—I did that."

"Honey you were having a nightmare, it's okay." Abbie tries to reassure but she is shoved away once again.

"NO!" Kim yells again, shaking her head as she moves towards he closet. A few minutes later, she returns full dressed in jeans in a hoodie as she begins pulling on a pair of sneakers. "I need some air."

"Alright, just let me get dressed and we can go for a walk." Abbie says as she moves towards the dresser to fish for an outfit.

Shaking her head, Kim places a firm yet shaky hand on her lover's arm. "Alone. I—I need to be alone."

Frowning deeply, Abbie shakes her head as she folds her arms. "Kim, you must be out of your mind if you think I'm going to let you go out by yourself, especially at this time of night. I'm going with you."

"I need to be alone Abbie." Kim says in a much firmer tone as she stands up and pushes past the other woman. "Just leave me be. I'll be back later."

"Kim! Come back here! I'm not letting you leave alone!" Abbie shouts, following her girlfriend into the living room just in time to hear the front door slam. "Damnit!"

* * *

Rubbing the sleep away from her eyes, Casey slowly sits up in bed as she hears a light knocking on her front door. Flicking on her bedside lamp, she looks around her bedroom, only to sigh quietly in disappointment when she realizes that she's still alone much like she was when she fell asleep.

Kicking aside the blankets, she crawls out of bed and continues to rub the sleep from her eyes as she yawns and makes her way out of her room. The light knocking continues as she nearly trips over her own arm chair in an attempt to make it to the door without flipping on a light.

She completely ignores the idea of looking throw the peephole as she fumbles to undo the locks, preparing to give the otherwise unwelcome guest a piece of her mind for disturbing her sleep at an ungodly hour of the night. Throwing open the door, she prepares to let them have it, only for the words to immediately die on her lips only for her to chuckle a few minutes later. "All of those times you snuck up on me, you opted to knock instead?"

Frowning in slight confusion, Alex blinks rapidly as she tilts her head. "I—I…I know it's late…" she says, almost robotically as she continues to study the redhead in front of her as if she were the most interesting puzzle in the world.

"Well that's never stopped you before." Casey replies, a small albeit sleepy smile tugging at her lips.

"I don't know how I got here." Alex continues on, still with that same confused but interested expression on her face. "I was there, but something kept telling me I needed to get out and I was walking and I just…now I'm here…"

This time, a bemused frown tugs at Casey's features as she attempts to figure out the cryptic meaning of the words spoken to her. It is then for the first time that she notices the marks of heeling cuts and stitches across the blondes face, something that she would've noticed before, had they been there. Without thinking, she slowly inches forward with her hand outstretched before she gently places it on Alex's cheek, expecting the coldness that she had become used to, only for her hand to come into contact with the warmth and softness of that of a human cheek.

"Oh my god…" Casey whispers, completely ignoring the wide eyed frown Alex is giving her as she slowly moves her hand down to Alex's chest, just over her heart where she feels a few pulsated 'thumps' before the blonde grabs her hand and takes a tentative step back. "My god…you're alive."

"I…am…" Alex responds, still a little confused despite herself. Holding this woman's hand is drawing a familiarity that she just can't seem to put her finger on and it's beginning to run her insane. "Um, can I…come in?"

Blinking, Casey remembers her manners before she vigorously nods her head and steps aside, though her expression continues to resemble that of a deer caught in the headlights. Making sure to lock up, she follows Alex into the living room, as she continues to study her carefully. "Um…Alex?"

Hearing her name, Alex spins around quickly before she relaxes. "It all seems so familiar." She says airily before pursing her lips tightly.

"Do you, remember me?" Casey asks, holding her breath as she awaits for an answer, hoping that it isn't one that's going to break her heard.

"A little…." Alex responds, shaking her head as she pinches the bridge of her nose as if she is trying to force herself to remember. Okay, at least 'a little' is better than 'not at all'. "I remember our date…our blind date. It was before I got hit. Then I remember…I remember your voice a lot. I remember hearing you and when you held my hand just then when we were by the door, I remember you touching me. Your voice…I remember your voice. Were you there when I was at the hospital? I remember hearing your voice with Olivia's at the hospital."

Casey's eyes widen as she gently places her hand on Alex's arm. "Wait, Olivia was at the hospital with you?"

Nodding slowly, Alex wraps her arms around herself as she turns around and slowly makes her way over to the sofa. "She was there when I woke up along with a US Marshall." She says as she lowers herself onto one of the cushions. "They told me a lot of things about Cant and how he's dead and they've arrested all of his people. They told me how they had to tell everyone I was dead so he wouldn't come after me."

"Okay…" Casey responds as she realizes a certain detective has a lot of explaining to do. Retrieving the throw blanket from the back of the couch, she gently guides Alex's down into a laying position. "You just lay here, okay? Just lay here, and rest and I'll make a phone call."

Approximately twenty minutes after her phone call, there is a pounding on her door and this time Casey is rather quick to open it not surprised when there is a frazzled Olivia on the other side. "You've got some talking to do…" she says firmly as she motions for the detective to follow her. Once in the lounge, she points to the napping woman on the couch.

"Oh god, everyone was in a panic because she just ran off like this." Olivia breathes, letting out a breath that she is sure that she's been holding since she left the hospital. "Listen, I…actually, I have absolutely no idea of where I'm supposed to begin with this, but I need you to understand…"

"You treated me like utter crap over her death when you knew damn well she was alive." Casey hisses, pointing to a still slumbering Alex. "That gives you absolutely no excuse, Olivia. No excuse. Not to mention you've stood by and watched everyone else suffer. What about her parents, hell, what about Serena? How many nights had she stayed awake, completely torn up over her best friend's death? How many nights did she stay up crying on your shoulder? How many nights did you spend lying to her?"

"Shut your mouth." Olivia demands, stepping into Casey's personal space as she points a firm finger at her. "You have no idea what it's been like for me keeping this from everyone. Every damn day I would wake up and hate myself because I had to go out and tell lie after lie to everyone I know and love. You have no fucking idea how hard it was to comfort Serena, tell her how much I love her and to hear her tell me how much she trusts me when I knew damn well Alex was alive. You have no fucking idea, so you have absolutely no right at all to stand here and lay into me for anything; especially not since you've been keeping secrets since you've got here. Right now, the last thing I want to deal with is some big shot who thinks she can just waltz in here and insert herself into everyone's life without gaining trust first. It doesn't work that way. So until you really get to know me, step off."

Seeing more pain, anguish, and sadness in the brunette's eyes despite her words of anger, Casey sighs quietly and averts her own gaze to the floor. "Olivia, I'm so sorry that I said those things to you. You're right, I have absolutely no idea what you've gone through with keeping this from everyone. I'm sorry…I didn't mean to take that out on you. Alex showing up here, it was just a surprise."

"How'd she get here?" Olivia asks as she crosses the living room and looks down at her sleeping friend. "Did you pick her up from the hospital?"

"No I swear." Casey responds with a firm, serious tone as she shakes her head. "I was just asleep when she was knocking on my door. She told me she didn't know how she got here, but something told her she needed to leave the hospital. She said she was just walking until she wound up here. I swear to you that's all I know."

Olivia examines the attorney for a long moment before she nods her head and gently shakes Alex's shoulder. "Hey Al, I know you don't want to stay at the hospital, but we have to go back just for a little bit so the doctors can look at you."

"Feel fine. Wanna stay here…" Alex mumbles as she tugs the blanket up to her shoulders.

"Alex…" Olivia tries again, sighing quietly when she realizes that Alex has fallen sleep again. "Would you mind looking after her for the rest of the night? Until I can call Melinda and see if I can coax her into coming over to check her out since she clearly isn't going back to the hospital."

Casey nods her head before offering Olivia a tiny smile. "Of course, I don't mind. You should go get some rest. I can tell you haven't had enough."

"Yeah…" The detective responds, sighing tiredly. "Goodnight Casey. And I'm sorry about everything before. Now that this is all over, maybe you'll be able to see a different side of me."

"I'll be looking forward to it." Casey responds, biding Olivia a goodnight once again before she locks up. Returning to the living room, she takes a seat in the arm chair opposite of the sofa as she watches Alex sleep, thinking that she is even more beautiful in person than just a vision that only she can see.

**Leave your thoughts!**


	14. Chapter 14

Settling in the armchair nursing a mug of tea Casey was content to just in silence and watch the blonde as she slept, she knew once news of Alex's 'resurrection' spread life was going to be hectic for the blonde and everyone involved. Not to mention they would all need to rally round Abbie and Kim as they coped with the trauma of Kim's kidnapping. As much as she disliked Olivia she felt sorry for the brunette and the impossible situation she had found herself in, not that it excused the way she treated her, she only hoped they could move past it for the sake of their professional relationship and maybe one day become friends.

Hearing the blonde mumble in her sleep a smile crept onto Casey's face as she thought about having the opportunity to really have a relationship with Alex. However unconventional the start she hoped Alex would give her a chance and if she really couldn't remember the things they had shared she would just have to make her realise how much Casey cared for her. Her silent musings were interrupted by the quiet voice of the very woman occupying her thoughts.

"I can feel you staring, don't you have something productive you could be doing?" Asked Alex.

"There's the Alex I know best." Muttered Casey, "For your information I was sleeping as most normal people are in the small hours and then you banged on my door."

"I'm sorry." Replied Alex, attempting to sit up.

Walking across the room Casey gently pressed Alex back against the pillows and rearranged the blanket. "Don't be. You're always welcome here." Replied Casey in a soft voice as she gently stroked Alex's hair until the blonde relaxed.

"Why? I don't even know you and you sure as hell don't know me, so why am I here? Why are you so happy to see me? And why do I feel like you're the only person I want to be near?" Asked Alex.

"I do know you." Replied Casey her voice full of conviction.

"Really?" Replied Alex sitting up and fixing Casey with a disbelieving look.

"Really." Replied Casey with a smirk.

"Prove it." Challenged Alex.

"Okay, Alexandra Elizabeth Cabot this is your life story as I understand it, you and Serena have been friends since you were toddlers..."

"Rena could have told you that." Interrupted Alex.

"Patients, I'm getting to the good stuff." Replied Casey lightly tapping the end of Alex's nose with the tip of her finger. "You've always wanted to do a parachute jump, you tell people your favourite book is To Kill A Mockingbird but it's really Peter Pan, your favourite movie is Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy, you've never read the Harry Potter books. You've always wanted to visit Paris, get married and have children, you regret the time you didn't spend with your parents and friends. You're an amazing prosecutor, not just because you love the law and can twist words like a corkscrew but because you believe that it's your job to speak for the victims."

"How?" Asked Alex as Casey paused to take a breath.

"Ah, that's where it gets tricky...when you were 'dead' somehow we...communicated."

"Your crazy." Laughed Alex.

"I'm not making this up, I promise."

"I wish I remembered." Replied Alex with a sad smile.

"I have an idea, close your eyes." Instructed Casey.

"Why?"

"You know, you were a lot less argumentative as a ghost." Grumbled Casey.

"Fine." Sighed Alex.

Making sure Alex had her eyes closed by waving a hand in front of her face, Casey said a silent prayer that she was doing the right thing and lent forward pressing her lips to Alex's in a firm but gentle kiss.

Feeling Casey's lips against her own Alex felt like a movie was playing in her mind, she could clearly see the nights they spent talking, playing monopoly, breaking Kim's heels, seeing her parents cry, her funeral and that somehow she had fallen in love with the woman before her.

Breaking the kiss Alex whispered, "I remember, I need to call my parents and Serena. Oh god, Kim."

"In the morning, right now you need to rest and so does Kim, she's with Abbie." Replied Casey with a sad smile.

Seeing the sadness in Casey's green eyes Alex felt her heart ache, how could she love someone she didn't remember? "Casey, I can't be with you, I don't know who you are."

"Then give me a chance because..."

"You don't need to be dragged into my mess..." Started Alex.

"No let me finish!" Interrupted Casey in a firm voice, "I'm not perfect, I'll annoy you, say stupid things and the start of our relationship was anything but normal but if you put that aside, I promise you'll never find someone who cares for you as deeply as I do. So please, please give me a chance."

Despite her best attempts Alex couldn't hold back the smile that crept across her face, as she replied, "I'll give you a chance." Placing a soft kiss on Casey's lips.

"Thank you. Now let's go to bed." Replied Casey keeping her hand on Alex's leg.

"I'm not sure I'm ready for that..." Replied Alex with a smirk.

"Haha, I meant to sleep." Replied Casey a blush colouring her cheeks as she stood and scooped Alex into her arms carrying her bridal style to her bedroom. Laying her gently on the bed she pulled the blankets over the blonde, pressing a soft kiss to her forehead before standing. "I'll take the couch."

"Stay. Please." Asked Alex already half asleep.

"Always." Smiled Casey as she laid down next to the blonde, giving a sigh of contentment as Alex rested her head on her chest as they drifted off to sleep.

* * *

After leaving Casey's apartment Olivia found herself driving aimlessly around the quiet streets, practicing what she was going to say to Serena when she got home, an hour later she still had no idea what she was going to say but couldn't put off going home any longer. Pulling into her parking space she pulled out her phone intending to call Casey and check on Alex, instead she found herself staring at the picture of Serena dressed as a police officer for Halloween she used as a background. Closing her eyes she prayed Serena would understand and forgive her for keeping it from her, taking another deep breath she climbed out of her car and headed to the apartment she shared with the blonde.

Sliding her key in the lock she could feel her heart pounding in her chest, seeing the light on in the lounge she took her time taking off her boots, until she heard Serena's footsteps padding towards her.

"Hey, your late. I was stating to worry." Smiled Serena as she pecked Liv on the lips only to find herself pulled in for a tight hug. "Um Liv? You okay? Has something else happened?"

"No, nothing, I've just really missed you and we need to talk, but I'm afraid." Replied Liv not loosening her hold on the blonde.

"Afraid of what?" Asked Serena.

"That your going to leave me." Whispered Liv.

"Liv..."

"Let's sit." Replied Liv as she released her hold on the blonde and led her into their lounge.

"Okay." Whispered Serna as she followed Olivia to the couch.

Keeping hold of Serena's hand Olivia took a deep breath. "Rena, I need you to know that I love you more than anything in this world and I would never do anything to intentionally hurt you..."

"Liv...are you cheating on me?" Asked Serena her voice half-afraid and half-angry.

"NO! No, I would never cheat on you." Replied Liv in a firm voice, before taking a deep breath. "Its about Alex."

"Alex?" Asked Serena her voice holding a hint of sadness.

"She's alive." Blurted Liv.

"What? Say that again?" Demanded the blonde.

"She's alive. You can see her tomorrow." Repeated Olivia.

"How? We buried her."

"After she was hit by the car they were able to resuscitate her, she was in a coma and was placed in witness protection. She woke up this evening."

"You knew." Replied Serena, it wasn't a question she could hear the truth in Olivia's voice.

"Yes." Admitted the detective hanging her head.

"Since when?" Demanded Serena pulling her hand away.

"The day it happened, I wanted to tell you but I was ordered not to." Replied Liv, watching as her lover walked to the window and stared out at the falling rain. "Serena, seeing you in pain almost tore my heart out. Not to mention having to sit through a funeral and seeing her parents so upset, it was horrible. I'm so sorry." After five minutes of silence Liv gave a tired sigh, "Talk to me please."

"You lied to me!" Yelled Serena, turning to face the detective still seated on the sofa.

"I'm so sorry, I had no choice." Argued Olivia.

"You had a choice and you chose not to trust me!" Yelled Serena.

"No! I-I God, Rena I didn't know what to do. I did everything I could to find those responsible and bring Alex home." Replied Liv dragging a hand through her short hair.

"Where is she now?" Asked Serena in a quieter voice.

"At Casey's."

"Casey's?" Asked Serena with a frown.

"Apparently thats where she wanted to go once she woke up." Replied Liv walking to where Serena stood she tried to pull her close.

"I think...I think I need some space." Replied Serena, stepping out of Olivia's grasp and walking towards the stairs.

"No! Serena please, please don't say that. I understand you're angry with me but I swear to you I was just trying to do what was right. Please understand that."

"I don't understand Liv, I don't understand how you can say you love me yet lie to me, I don't understand how you can hold me as I cry for my dead best friend when you know she's alive and I don't understand how you can say you trust me when you didn't trust me with this secret." Replied Serena with tears in her eyes, "Please, just sleep in the spare room."

"Serena...I love you." Whispered Olivia as she watched Serena climb the stairs, getting no response she walked to the kitchen and poured a large glass of Whiskey before walking into the lounge and dropped down on to the couch, once again cursing the situation she had found herself in and hoping Serena would one day forgive her.

* * *

Leaving the apartment she shared with her girlfriend, Kim lent against the wall of their building and closed her eyes before taking several grateful breaths of cool night air, letting the rain wash away the last of her nightmare. Pulling her jacket tighter around her she began walking, no clear destination in mind, she was slightly shocked to find herself at Alex's grave side.

Dropping to the wet ground she sat in silence for a few minutes before speaking, the sound of her voice even at a whisper sounding loud in the silence of the night. "Hey Al, God I feel stupid doing this but you've always been the person I've confided in when I can't talk to Abbie. I'm such a mess and I don't know what's real and what was a hallucination, did you really think Serena was better for Abbie? Am I a bad lawyer? Does Abbie love me? Am I weak?"

Swiping angrily at the tears that had started to fall Kim continued, "Every time I close my eyes I can feel him touching me, smell the urine, and feel the needle stabbing my arm. I don't know who to not be afraid, I need you to tell me it's all going to be okay. I don't, I don't known how to process all these emotions."

Feeling her phone vibrate she saw Abbie's name on the screen and realised she had been gone two hours and Abbie must be worried. "Abbie..."

"Where are you?" Demanded Abbie, her accent thick with worry and tiredness.

"With Alex." Whispered Kim hating how weak her voice sounded.

"With Alex? You mean her grave?" Asked Abbie.

"Yeah." Relied Kim.

"Stay put I'll be there in ten." Replied Abbie, the sound of the car starting in the background as the call shut off.

"That was Abbie, I've put her through so much, I just know she's going to leave me." Whispered Kim, before lapsing into silence.

As she sat in the rain she became aware of Cant's voice, getting closer, "Kimmy, it's time to pay for all those free drugs. I know what you like. I'm going to kill Abbie in front of you slowly and then kill you."

Feeling her heart race she pressed her hands over her ears and scooted so her back was against the stone bearing Alex's information, "Go away, go away, go away." Chanted Kim, drawing her knee's to her chest as she tried to back further away. Opening her eyes she could see Cants hands on her arms and started hitting him, "Leave me alone."

"Kim. Kim it's me. Calm down. It's me." Called Abbie, moving a step back so she was out of Kim's reach.

"Abbie. He's here. He's going to hurt you. You have to go." Said Kim panting in fear.

"He's dead, I promise he can't hurt you or anyone else ever again." Replied Abbie, before asking, "Can I hold you?" Seeing Kim nod she dropped down next to her shaking lover and pulled her into her arms, mindful of Kim's numerous injuries. "I've got you."

"Please, please don't leave me?" Begged Kim clutching the material of Abbie's coat in her fists.

Swallowing down her own tears, Abbie pulled Kim as close as their position would allow, "I'm not going anywhere, we are going to get through this together. I love you Kim."

"I love you too." Whispered Kim suddenly felt drained.

"Come on let's get you home." Replied Abbie scooping Kim into her arms and carrying her to their car with Kim's recent captivity making her light. Settling Kim in the passenger seat she wasn't surprised Kim was asleep before they reached the end of the street. Making sure to keep their hands joined as she drove them home, praying she could help Kim passed the demons haunting her.

**Leave your thoughts. **


	15. Chapter 15

"I can't believe all this time you were alive." Serena whispers, her tears having finally subsided after her reunion with her best friend. She can't help the plethora of emotions that flow through her, but if she's completely honest, she's mostly glad she has her friend back.

"I wish the both of you would've known." Alex responds with a sad smile as she looks from Serena who is next to her on the sofa to Kim who has seated herself all the way across the room, putting as much distance between them and her as possible. She can't help but feel bad for her friend who hasn't said much for the better part of an hour and has simply settled on staring at a vacant spot on the floor. It's something she's never seen in Kim and it honestly scares her a lot.

Kim on the other hand continues to stare blankly at the floor while she continues to clutch her knees tightly to her chest. She can just barely hear the other women talking, but it isn't until she hears Serena's voice that everything stops becoming a dull roar.

"Abbie deserves better than you." Serena all but sneers before she joins the woman next to her in a laugh of agreement. "She's never loved you and she's going to leave the first chance she gets."

"That's not true!" Kim snaps, looking over towards the couch only to find the two blondes in question staring at her with equal expressions of confusion.

"Kim…?" Alex asks carefully tilting her head to the side.

Serena blinks rapidly before she manages to come up with a question of her own. "Kim, is something wrong? You look up set."

Kim's scowl morphs into her own expression of confusion, pursing her lips into a tight thin line before she responds. "What did you just say to me?"

"I asked you if you were alright or if you wanted me to call Abbie to come and take you home." Serena responds gently.

"Oh, so the both of you can get rid of me?" Kim snaps back defensively.

"What? No! We don't want to get rid of you. You just look tired and out of it…sorry if I said something that offended you." Serena trails off quietly.

Kim finally relaxes before she sighs heavily and shakes her head. "No…it's my fault. I shouldn't have snapped at you. I guess I'm just a little tired…that and I'm still trying to process everything."

"It's a lot to process." Alex responds honestly. "Again, I really wish that you guys were told. I can't imagine the pain and suffering everyone went through when they all thought I was dead…"

"Yeah, everyone except Olivia." Serena adds in, the anger clear and evident in her voice as she rolls her eyes and shakes her head.

Alex bites down on her bottom lip, contemplating what it is that she wants to say before she manages to come up with a response. "Honey, have you stopped to think that maybe Olivia didn't tell you because she was trying to protect you?"

Serena rolls her eyes again before she gives Alex an incredulous look. "Olivia knew damn well that I wouldn't have said anything if she had told me. Instead she just sat there day in and day out holding me while I cried for you. I thought she was actually mourning to but in reality she was just lying to me. She should've trusted me Alex and because she didn't I…I don't even know where that puts us in our relationship right now."

"Just try to hear her out." Alex prods quietly and she is not completely surprised when Serena neither accepts or declines her request.

"Why are you here anyway?" Serena asks, holding out her hands to the living room of Casey's apartment. While the redhead had stepped out with Liv and Abbie, the remaining three women decided to stay in, providing the fact that Alex is practically dead to the rest of the world and her still healing body doesn't need any extra stress added to her.

Alex opens her mouth to answer honestly, but closes it when she realizes that the true explanation wouldn't make any sense to her friends and she isn't sure if she wants to tell them just yet. "I don't know. I just…I wanted to come here." She responds with a small shrug. "When I left the hospital I just needed to get away and I wound up here. Casey's really nice and she's taken good care of me so I know that I'm safe here."

"You barely know each other." Kim speaks up, her voice void, but not in the way it usually is.

"I…we made a connection on our date." Alex answers with an honest shrug. "I feel like I can trust her and she's given me good reason to. I know she's not gonna hurt me or anything."

"What about work?" Serena asks. "Do you think you'll ever go back?"

Alex finds herself to be completely floored by the question. In the time that she has been awake she has been spending her time with Casey, meaning that she hasn't given work a second thought. "I…I don't know. I honestly haven't given it any thought. It wouldn't be right to just swoop in like I had never even left. I mean, my job isn't even my job anymore. So, I don't know. Like I said, I haven't given it much thought."

"It's going to take a while before things can get back to normal." Serena says before sighing quietly. "If they can ever be back to normal."

"Alex, can I ask you something?" Serena tries carefully. Usually this would be something Kim would ask, but given the current circumstances, Serena feels like the responsibility falls in her lap. "What is really going on between you and Casey? I mean, I saw the way she looked at you when I got here. I can spot love from one hundred yards away so ten feet isn't even a challenge for me. What's going on?"

Alex actually has the good graces to blush but she still can't exactly find away to explain. "I've just…it's really complicated Serena. I wish I could explain to you what's going on but I just can't, it's so complicated, I just don't know how to…I just don't know. I promise I'll try to explain everything in time, but right now it's just extremely complicated."

"Well when you're ready to talk, I'll be here." Serena states before looking across the room. "For both of you."

Kim blinks slowly as her face remains an unreadable blank slate. Honestly, she knew that coming out was a bad idea. While she is ecstatic to find that Alex is alive and she wasn't taken down by some cowardly son of a bitch, that doesn't make the flashbacks stop or the nightmares go away.

"Kim we…we know what he did to you and we can't imagine everything you went through but…" Alex trails off, licking her licks before she continues. "Just know that we're all here for you in any way that you need it."

"Sometimes when I close my eyes, I can feel him there." Kim finally says, though her voice is quiet. "I can feel his eyes on me, his breath, his…his hands…his presence. I can hear his voice taunting me, every noise he makes…It's like he's still here. He's here and I…I can't get away. I woke up late and I had punched Abbie in the face because I was having a nightmare and I thought it was his hands that were grabbing me. This morning she tried to kiss me and I couldn't kiss her back. Sometimes I need her, but other times I can't even let her touch me. I know she's going to leave eventually, I…I just don't know when." With that, Kim trails off, tears rolling down her cheeks as she finally makes eye contact with the other two women across the room. "How am I supposed to prepare for that?"

* * *

"She wouldn't even kiss me..." Abbie says, dropping her head into her hands once she's placed her beer back on the table.

"I can do you one better; Serena won't even look at me." Olivia grumbles, swirling around the liquid in her own bottle as she wears a face of exhaustion and sadness.

Casey carefully eyes the two women across from her and she realizes she doesn't exactly know what it is that she's supposed to say. She wishes she could offer some kind of useful advice, but to be completely honest, with everything going on, she just hasn't any idea of how to react.

"I think you should take Kim to see someone." Casey says honestly after a smalls silence. "Someone who might be able to help."

"As if I haven't suggested it." Abbie snorts as she shakes her head and empties her beer bottle. "When I mentioned going to see a therapist, she looked at me like I had just cursed out her entire family. I know that she needs to go. There were times during the day where she'll just slip into a flashback and I haven't the slightest idea of what to do to stop that from happening; and I've got the bruises to prove it. God I just…I don't know what to do. I feel like pretty soon she's gonna start pushing me away."

"Give her some time." Olivia says gently though she keeps her eyes on the table. "I think right now she just needs to process everything that's going on. I think all three of them do."

Casey nods her head, averting her gaze to her hands as her mind drifts back to the blonde at her apartment. She can't help but feel a mixture of excitement and sadness all at the same time. Sadness because she can't help but feel like she and Alex had made a strong connection when Alex was 'dead', even going as far as to share light kisses and even professions of loving one another. Now that Alex is alive and well and back to reclaim her own life, Casey feels like she has to start over from scratch despite Alex remembering what happened during the time she was gone; thus spawning the excitement of the unknown.

"I still can't understand why Alex went to you." Olivia states after another long moment of silence. "I mean, how'd she know where you lived?"

At this, Casey can't come up with a reasonable response so she settles on shrugging. "I don't know…maybe she asked around or something. I really haven't any idea." Well, at least it's not a complete lie.

Though the detective is purely unconvinced by the answer, she finds herself far too tired and far to stressed to press further. She sighs quietly and drags a hand through her hair before she shakes her head. "I have no idea of what I'm going to do about Serena. The way she looked at me before she went to bed…She has never looked at me like that before. It was almost like she hated me. I…betrayed her."

"You did what you had to do, Liv. That's not your fault." Abbie says, placing her hand gently on the other woman's shoulder.

"Yeah, but that doesn't mean she's ever gonna trust me again. I just…I can't even imagine what must be going through her head right now. She looked so hurt when I told her and I couldn't blame her. I'm sure that if I were in her position I would be feeling the exact same thing. What if I lose her? I worked so hard to get our relationship where it is, I don't know if I could handle losing her."

"And I don't know if Kim is ever gonna let me in again."

Casey bites down on her bottom lip as she feels extremely sad for her best friend and Olivia. She can't even begin to think about her potential future with Alex when all she can think about is the deep dark pit the other have fallen into because of Edward Cant. A deep dark pit where the bottom seems to be nowhere in sight.

**Leave your thoughts? **


	16. Chapter 16

**Emotional Chapter ahead folks. Enjoy!**

Waking up Alex rolled to her side pleased to find there was no pain connected to the movement, looking across at her bedmate she couldn't help but smile as Casey adjusted her position to maintain contact. As she relaxed into Casey's embrace and tried to fall back to sleep, she found her mind wouldn't close off. As she thought back across the three weeks and all that had happened since her return from the dead, she realized how grateful she was to have Casey in her life.

In that time she fallen even harder for Casey, who hadn't left her side as she had been reunited with her parents, returned to the hospital for physical therapy and given her statement to the police. Although, they had spent every night together they hadn't done more than kiss, if anyone found it strange that Alex had more or less moved in with Casey since her return they didn't push too hard such was the relief of Alex's return, although she could tell Liv wasn't buying their 'bonded on the date' story.

Thinking about the detective Alex's insides twisted with guilt, despite her having not been awake she still felt partly responsible for the position Olivia was placed in and the resulting strain it was causing in her friends relationship. She had tried talking to Serena, pleading Olivia's case, but the blonde's anger was still strong and she was in no mood to listen or forgive Olivia. It wasn't just Serena and Olivia who were struggling Alex had never seen Kim so fragile, it wasn't a word she ever thought she would use to describe the normally composed woman, not that she had seen much of her friend who had closed herself off from everyone even Abbie didn't know where she was. Both had taken a leave of absence from the DA's office to focus on Kim's recovery which had led to Branch offering Alex her old job back, something she had mixed feelings about.

Her thoughts were interrupted by Casey's sleepy voice, "What's got you thinking so hard?"

"Just thinking." Smiled Alex, brushing a stray strand of hair behind Casey's ear.

"Anything I can do to help?" Asked Casey pulling Alex closer.

"Branch offered my old job back to me, at least until Kim is back." Replied Alex

"That's great, I get to see the great Alexandra Cabot in action." Smiled Casey.

"Maybe." Replied Alex.

"What's holding you back?"

"What about us?"

"I don't follow? I mean Kim and Abbie are in a relationship so I can't see it being an issue... but that's not it is it, you're worried about the reaction to us as a couple?"

"No! God no. I wouldn't have got through these last few weeks without you." Replied Alex her voice full of conviction.

"Okay, then what is it?" Asked Casey.

"I have the 'Ice Queen' name for reason, what if you don't like that Alexandra Cabot?" Asked Alex confused when Casey started to laugh, "You think that's funny?"

"No, it's just I can't imagine there is anything I won't like about you."

"Love really is blind." Smiled Alex.

"No, I'd have to be blind not to love you." Smiled Casey before pressing a soft kiss to Alex's mouth, "Now try and get some rest. We have our date saturday and I still can't believe you won't tell me what it is."

"Where's the fun in that." Smiled Alex.

"Meanie." Teased Casey, before giving a wide yawn.

"Sleep." Whispered Alex pressing a kiss to Casey's cheek.

"What are you going to tell Branch?" Asked Casey.

"That my beautiful girlfriend told me to get my ass back in the court room." Smiled Alex.

"Girlfriend, I like the sound of that." Smiled Casey, a smile that remained as she drifted off to sleep.

* * *

Sitting on her couch Abbie topped up her glass, despite the fact it was three in the morning she didn't feel tired, draining the contents in one as she thought about the last time she had seen Kim.

_As she pulled the roast chicken from the oven, Abbie glanced at Kim who was curled in the armchair staring blankly at the wall, there were dark circles under her eyes, her hair was limp and she had lost an alarming amount of weight. Sighing deeply Abbie decided tonight she was going to make Kim talk to her, pouring a glass of wine she finished laying the table. _

_"Kim, dinners ready." Called Abbie softly as not to startle the younger woman. _

_"I'm not hungry." Replied Kim not looking at Abbie. _

_Dragging a hand through her hair Abbie took a deep breath before trying again, "Just try a little, please? I made your favorite. There's even carrot cake for after." _

_"I said I'm NOT hungry." Snapped Kim as she stood and prepared to flee to the bedroom. _

_As Kim drew level with her Abbie reached out a hand to stop her, "Kim..." _

_"Stay away from me." Growled Kim picking up the large knife Abbie had been using to carve the chicken. _

_Stepping back Abbie put her hands in the air, "Kim, Kim it's me. It's just me. Put the knife down." _

_"Don't you touch me!" Screamed Kim advancing on Abbie, "I told you no!" _

_"Kim, baby it's me, it's Abbie. Please darling, please put the knife down. No one's going to hurt you I promise, just put the knife down." Pleased Abbie in a soft voice. She had watched as Kim's eyes widened and stared at the knife as if surprised it was in her hand, dropping the knife to the floor she met Abbie's frightened gaze before spinning on her heel running out of apartment. _

That had been a week ago, she had tried calling, emailing, texting and visiting everyone she could think of to find her, but Kim had vanished. Draining the liquid in her glass she thought back to the fear in Kim's eyes she wished she could revive Cant and kill him herself. Tipping up the bottle she grunted in displeasure finding it empty, holding in up to her eye she peered in it before giving it a shake, a useless process that confirmed the bottle was indeed empty. As she stood to collect a new bottle she noticed the light on the answer phone blinking, hoping it was a message from Kim she pressed play,

'Hello, this is a message for Kimberly Greylek, I'm calling from The Women's Health Centre. Just confirming your appointment for tomorrow, Friday the sixteenth at three p.m. Feel free to call us if you need any more information or want to cancel.'

Pulling out her cell phone Abbie Googled the Clinic, feeling her blood run cold as all the pieces clicked into place. Kim had been raped and was pregnant, judging by the message she wasn't keeping it. Making a note of the clinic address Abbie headed to bed, determined she would be there for Kim the following day, no matter what Kim said.

* * *

Friday morning Alex found herself standing outside One Hogan's Place, with more nerves than she had on her very first day as an ADA. Taking a deep breath she open the door and walked the familiar path to the lift, trying her hardest to ignore the stares and whispered her presence caused. As she stepped into the lift she was pleased to find it empty, pressing the button for her desired floor she took several deep breaths, "I am Alexandra Cabot and I speak for the victims. I am Alexandra Cabot and I speak for the victims." Recited Alex stepping out of the lift she felt somewhat calmer as she headed towards Branch's office.

An hour later Alex walked the familiar hallway to her old office, hoping Casey would be free for lunch, knocking on the door she couldn't hold back her smile at the sound of Casey's voice, "Hi."

Putting down her pen Casey smiled widely as she stood to greet her visitor, "Hi yourself. I was just thinking about you."

"Oh really? Good thoughts? " Asked Alex with a smile as she pressed a soft kiss to Casey's lips.

"Always." Smiled Casey, "So what brings you by? Come for your office?"

"I've just finished my meeting with Branch and I start back Monday, I told him of our relationship and he was typically Branch about it and for now at least we'll be sharing an office."

"That sounds great, I'm not giving up my desk chair I had to go all ninja on Cutter to get it." Smiled Casey.

Rolling her eye at her girlfriend, Alex mused at how five minutes in Casey's company could settle her nerves. "Fine, I'll let you keep the chair if you buy me lunch."

"That I can do, give me ten to finish this motion, then I'm all yours for an hour."

"Perfect, I might go check on Rena, come find me when your done." Replied Alex, seeing Casey nod she sent her a wave and headed to find her best friend.

"Hi, how you doing?" Asked Alex as she took in the dark circles under the shorter blonde's eyes and the dull look in her eyes.

"Fantastic." Muttered Serena.

"Rena...she really didn't have a choice..."

"She had a choice and she chose to not trust me. You all chose not to trust me. Kim won't talk to me and you and Casey have you secret relationship." Snapped Serena, "You'll have to excuse me I have court."

"Okay..." Replied Alex, staring at the closed door Serena had just fled through sighing she stood to leave using her key to lock the door behind her.

"I take it she wasn't in a chatty mood?" Asked Casey as they headed to the diner for lunch.

"She's so angry and not just at Liv, but at me." Replied Alex in a sad voice, "She think's I'm still keeping secrets from her."

"I'm sorry." Whispered Casey seeing the sadness in Alex's blue eyes.

"I feel so guilty, if I had just let the damn case drop then none of this would be happening."

"Its not your fault, we both know he would have come after you anyway." Offered Casey as she took Alex's hand across the table.

"Maybe, but because of me, Liv and Serena are at breaking point, Abbie is a mess and Kim is...Kim is I don't even know how Kim is because she's cut herself off from us."

Lightly squeezing the blondes hand Casey thought for a minute before replying. "Alex, Serena was a mess when she thought you were...you were dead, she needs to be angry with you not just because she feels like you're keeping secrets but because you left her and part of her is still reeling from that. But, I promise she will come around and calm down eventually and forgive you and Olivia. As for Abbie, she's stronger than she let's on and in all the years I've known her I've never known her to be as in love with someone as she is with Kim and there's no way she'll let Kim push her away. Kim went through hell, it's not something you can just shrug off, but we're all here for her and when she's ready to get some help we will be there for that too, but it's going to take time."

"So what you're saying is be patient and it'll all work out?" Asked Alex with a smile.

"What I'm saying is, its not your fault and as much as you might want to you can't rush the healing process for any of you." Smiled Casey.

"Thank you, Casey, I don't know what I would have done without you."

"You're welcome and I promise I'm not going anywhere, you're stuck with me." Grinned Casey.

* * *

Sitting in the waiting room of the clinic Kim kept her gaze fixed on the carpet, her knee bouncing up and down with nerves, she was glad of the empty waiting room. Feeling someone sit next to her she looked up her heart dropping as she saw Abbie watching her with an expression of love and worry.

"Hi." Smiled Abbie.

"How?" Asked Kim.

"You gave our number and they called to confirm the appointment. Kim, why didn't you tell me?" Asked Abbie.

"I-I was afraid."

"Of me?"

"That you wouldn't want me because I'm dirty. I swear to you I didn't want him to...I swear...please believe me?" Begged Kim.

"Kim, calm down. He raped you, that's not your fault." Replied Abbie, "Kim, I love you and if you think for a second I'm going to just walk away then you clearly don't know me." Seeing Kim about to speak Abbie held her hand up, "Please, please let me help you?"

"I can't keep it." Whispered Kim.

"I understand that and I'm here for you. Can I hold your hand?" Asked Abbie in a soft voice, seeing Kim nod she gently took her hand in her own, "Please come home, I miss you."

"What if I hurt you?" Asked Kim.

"Kim, you need to see someone, I know the idea of that makes you uncomfortable..."

"I already made an appointment." Admitted Kim.

"Good, that's the first step. We will get through this together." Promised Abbie.

"I love you Abigail."

"I love you too Kimberly." Smiled Abbie. Looking up as Kim's name was called she stood and pulled Kim to her feet, "Together." Nodding Kim kept a tight grip on Abbie's hand as they followed the nurse.

* * *

After lunch with Alex, Casey had been called to the station to consult on a case and was still there at nine that night. "Working late?" Asked Casey as she left the Captain's office.

"Just putting off going home." Admitted Liv.

"Serena still not talking to you?" Asked Casey as she sat in Elliott's chair.

"She won't even look at me."

"I'm sorry Liv, you don't deserve all this."

"What was I supposed to do?" Asked Liv dragging a hand through her hair.

"I wish I had an answer for you, I guess you'll just have to give her time."

"I guess." Muttered Liv, sighing as she realized she couldn't put off going home any longer, "You need a ride?" Offered Liv as they headed towards the lift.

"I'm good, thank you."

"No worries. Casey I'm sorry we got off to a rocky start, I really would like us to be friends."

"Me too." Smiled Casey, as she waved goodbye.

* * *

Arriving home Liv took a deep breath as she headed into the lounge, she was sick of the silent treatment and sleeping on the couch. Seeing Serena curled up on the couch reading a file, she took another deep breath, "We need to talk."

"Then talk." Replied Serena closing the file.

"I know you think I betrayed you but I swear I didn't mean to..."

"I know, 'You were just doing your job'" Replied Serena, making air quotes.

"Stop!" Yelled Liv, "Just stop. I'm sick of being your punching bag!"

"I'm sick of you lying to me!" Snapped Serena.

"Your being selfish! What was I supposed to do? Did you see what that bastard did to Kim? That could have been you! I was trying to protect you, protect Alex, find Kim and catch the bastard responsible! Tell me please, what was I supposed to do?"

"You were supposed to trust me!" Yelled Serena.

"I do, I trust you with my life, with my heart but Serena I had no choice." Replied Liv, dropping to the couch as the fight left her. "I can't do this anymore, I can't keep apologising."

"I can't forgive you." Replied Serena.

Nodding Liv stood and walked towards the stairs, ten minutes later she was ready to leave, "I'll call you when I find somewhere."

"Fine." Replied Serena.

"I really do love you Serena." Whispered Liv, getting no reply she sighed and left the apartment.

Hearing the door close, Serena dropped down on the couch pulling a pillow against her chest as she sobbed in to it.

* * *

Arriving home from work Casey gave a happy sigh as she kicked off her heels, heading into the lounge she smiled at the sight of Alex asleep on the couch a book a book on the floor next to her. Picking up the book and placing it on the coffee table she leant down and pressed a soft kiss to Alex's lips, "Hey Sleeping Beauty."

"Hi, sorry I guess I dozed off. What time is it?" Smiled Alex sitting up and stretching.

"About half nine, I got caught by Cragen."

"Why don't you take a shower and I'll warm you up some soup?" Suggested Alex.

"I think that sounds perfect and very domesticated." Replied Casey.

Two hours later the two women were curled up in bed, as she fell asleep Alex once again said thanks for the woman holding her tight.

**Thoughts? **


	17. Chapter 17

**A/N: Jesus it's late…or early…anyhow, chapter for you, hope you enjoy! **

Waking up Saturday morning Casey frowned in confusion at the total silence in the apartment, glancing at the clock she was shocked to find it was almost lunch time, not that she was surprised she slept so late. The night before she and Alex had stayed up until the early hours of the morning watching the meteor-shower. Heading into the lounge she frowned finding no trace of the blonde, checking the kitchen she smiled at the sight of an envelope propped against her favorite Star-Wars mug.

Opening the envelope she pulled out the enclosed note,

'Good morning Cassandra,  
Did you know you drool in your sleep? Im sure by now, you've realized I'm not at home, don't worry you can't rid of me this easily as I'm sure you've worked out by now. I thought I would go visit Serena, try and talk some sense into her. That aside, I wanted tonight to be special so, I will pick you up at Six. Dress causal, maybe that green shirt and dark jeans.  
All my love,  
Alex xx'

Flicking on the kettle, Casey couldn't hold back her smile, when she found Jennifer and her boss in bed she had been certain her heart was broken beyond repair, it had taken her a week to even get out of bed. When Abbie had suggested the date with Alex she wasn't convinced she was ready to open her heart to anyone, yet here she was in love with a woman she hadn't technically had a date with. After lazy breakfast and some on-line research Casey got dressed and left the apartment, she needed to do a little shopping before her date that night.

* * *

Hearing a knock at the door Serena pulled the pillow over her head, the lingering scent of Olivia's perfume making her heart ache. Feeling the pillow suddenly lifted from her head, she bolted upright, frowning when she saw Alex holding the pillow in her hands.

"Get up! We are going to talk." Ordered Alex throwing the pillow back on to the bed as she span on her heel, walking out of the bedroom leaving Serena to follow.

Dragging a hand through her messy hair Serena followed the sound of banging coming from the kitchen, "Sit." Ordered Alex as she finished making the coffee, joining Serena at the breakfast bar she studied her friend, "Talk to me."

"You barge into my house uninvited, drag me out of bed all because you want to chat? What's the matter Casey bored of your sparking personality already?" Snarked Serena giving a humorless snort.

"Your angry and not just at Liv, but at me, so tell me." Replied Alex not apologizing for barging in.

"Your damn right I'm angry at you! You were told, no you were ordered to leave that damn case alone! But no, Alexandra Cabot doesn't take orders. We buried you! I spoke at your funeral! I held your mum whilst she sobbed for you all because you were to damn stubborn to walk away!" Yelled Serena.

"Your right." Replied Alex, her voice quiet.

"You left me! You promised me you would be there for my wedding, we would watch each other's children grow up, but you left me and I hate you for it!" Yelled Serena, breathing heavily. "And then you come back and the only person your interested in is Casey! Why?"

"That's complicated to explain." Replied Alex.

"Despite what you all think I'm not a dumb blonde! Explain it to me." Challenged Serena.

"Fine, but you can't say anything until I've finished talking and what I say stays between us?" Seeing Serena shrug she took a deep breath, "Our date was a disaster, Casey was late and I was paranoid she was going to stand me up or leave me sitting there like an idiot. So I was, less than welcoming shall we say and when Cragen called me I was relieved to have a reason to leave..."

"So you felt guilty? And now she's your best friend?" Asked Serena.

"I thought we agreed you would be silent until I finished?" Asked Alex with a raised eyebrow, getting no response she started to speak again. "I don't remember being hit by the car, just a flash of pain and then blackness. The next thing I remember and I know it sounds crazy, but the next thing I remember is being in my office with Casey."

"You had a head injury..."

"No, after that I ended up at her apartment, hell I went to my own funeral..."

"Alex.."

"Okay, I know you told the story of the time we got drunk in law school, I know you wore your 'closing argument' suit because it gave you confidence and I know Kim cried in the bathroom and she actually let you hug her."

"How..." Asked Serena, she was sure no one could have witnessed that interaction, because Kim had locked the door behind them.

"I was there." Replied Alex.

"That's not possible..."

"Yet it's true. The thing is the only person who could see and hear me was Casey and we bonded, she sat up with me playing chess and talking and somehow we fell in love."

"Alex..."

"I know it sounds crazy but...it's true. That's why I was drawn to her when I first woke up. Serena, just because I love Casey doesn't mean you stop being my best friend, stop being the little sister I never wanted. I love you, I always will but you need to stop being angry at Liv. I'm the one who left you not Liv, she was in a bitch of a situation and she did what she had to do."

"She held me while I cried for you." Replied Serena in a bitter tone.

"Imagine how hard that must have been for her, to hold you and know she knew the one thing that could stop your pain but not be able to tell you. She loves you Serena, she has from the moment you first smiled at her and she chocked on her beer. Be angry at me all you want, I'll take it, hell I deserve it, she doesn't."

"She left me." Whispered Serena, as she started to cry.

Moving to hug her friend Alex held her as her sobs turned to quiet tears. "Then get your head out of your ass and go get her back."

"I don't know where she is."

"I do, I'll leave you the address." Replied Alex.

"Please don't leave me again." Asked Serena, looking Alex in the eye.

"Not until we're old and grey and have had a lifetime of experiences to talk about on the porch of our house in Miami. You, me and Kim we're going to be the Golden Girls."

"Which one is Kim?" Asked Serena with a smile.

"Dorothy. I'll be Blanche the Southern seductress and you can be Rose."

"The dumb one." Asked Serena with a small smile.

"The sweet one." Corrected Alex.

"I'm sorry I was angry at you and for the things I said."

I deserved it. I'm sorry for everything that happened, but I promise not to waste my second chance at life. Now, go shower and then go find your woman, I'm borrowing your apartment to get ready for my date tonight"

"I love you Al."

"Love you too Rena." Smiled Alex, giving her friend a warm hug.

* * *

Olivia laid back on the bed in her hotel room staring up at the ceiling, she was beginning to understand why so many people committed suicide in hotel rooms, she was pulled from her less than cheerful thoughts by a light knock at the door. Sighing she debated ignoring it, until she heard Serena's voice, "Liv, please I know you're in there. Open the door. I need to talk to you."

Dragging a hand through her short hair, Liv swung her legs over the bed and crossed the room in three long strides opening the door she, felt her heart clench at the sight of her lover holding out a single white lily, the same flower Liv had given her on their first date, "Hi."

"Can I come in?" Asked the blonde handing Liv the flower as she stepped past the detective and into her room.

"Serena, I don't want to fight anymore..." She was cut off by Serena crashing their lips together in a kiss full of emotion.

"No more fighting. I was such a bitch, please say you can forgive me?" Begged the blonde.

"What brought about this change?" Asked Liv with a frown.

"Alex. She told me to get my head out of my ass before I lost you. Liv, I was angry, at you but mostly at Alex for leaving me and then only being interested in Casey when she came back. I was an immature fool and if you don't want me anymore..." Serena was crying as she spoke.

"Stop! Serena, I understand you were angry. I'm sorry I had to lie to you, it broke my heart each time you cried. I love you, we can move past this."

"No more apologies, no more lying, no more anger. I love you Olivia, you are my heart."

"And you're mine." Smiled Liv pulling Serena impossibly closer, "Let's get some rest and then, maybe we can go out for dinner? I booked the room for the weekend, be a shame to waste it."

"Or we could just order room service and get naked?" Giggled Serena.

"I like the way you think." Smiled Liv, carrying Serena to the bed.

Stripping down to their underwear and t-shirts they slipped beneath the sheets, pulling Serena into her arms, as she closed her eyes, the reassuring warmth of Serena's body pressed against hers Liv mused, that maybe hotels weren't all that bad after all.

* * *

By five that afternoon Casey found herself pacing her apartment, she had been shopping, arranged a special surprise for the following day, taken a long bath and cleaned out her closet so there was space for Alex's clothes, she had taken her time getting ready. Yet here she was, an hour before Alex was due to arrive and she was a wreck, she couldn't believe how much she missed Alex in just a few hours.

Flopping down on the couch she flicked on the TV hoping to find a baseball game or even a documentary to pass the time. Twenty minutes later she was once again pacing the floor of her apartment, checking her watch every few minutes in the hope that time had magically moved forward. Just as she was about to start another lap of her apartment there was a knock on the door making her jump, giving a small laugh at her nervousness Casey made her way to the door a wide smile spreading across her face at the sight of Alex, holding a bunch of red roses.

"Hi, I know I'm early, I just couldn't wait to see you." Smiled Alex handing Casey the flowers she had brought.

"I'm glad your early, I've missed you more than I thought possible." Replied Casey as she pressed a chaste kiss to the blondes lips.

"I missed you too. I see you went for the green shirt."

"A certain someone told me it was her favorite." Replied Casey as she set about arranging the flowers in a vase.

"Well, that someone certainly has good taste, you look beautiful."

Letting her eyes roam over Alex's body, clad in dark jeans, knee high boots and a light blue turtle neck jumper, Casey felt her pulse quicken, "You look sensational. I have a little present for you."

"You didn't have to get me anything."

"I wanted to." Smiled Casey handing Alex a bright green gift bag.

Opening the bag Alex felt her heart swell with affection at the sight of the complete set of Harry Potter books. "Thank you."

"Alex, I want to make all your dreams come true, weather its reading Harry Potter on rainy Sundays or getting even a tattoo, I want to be by your side as you cross them off your bucket list."

"I'm not sure how I got so lucky." Whispered Alex.

"I'm the lucky one." Smiled Casey, pulling Alex down on the sofa she handed her a small box, "One more thing, this is yours."

Opening the box Alex found a light saber key ring and what was clearly a key to Casey's apartment, "Case...thank you."

"Always. Now, I believe you promised to take me on a date." Grinned Casey.

"That I did." Smiled Alex, pressing one last kiss to Casey's lips she pulled her to her feet and they headed down to Alex's car.

Once she had finished mocking Alex's music collection Casey turned her attention to the direction they were traveling in, "Um Al? Where are we going?"

"Wait and see." Smiled Alex, pulling up to a red light she cast a glance at a pouting Casey, "You know, you're cute when you pout?"

"Cute enough, that you'll tell me where we're going?" Asked Casey with a puppy dog expression.

"Nope, but we have arrived." Smiled Alex as she pulled into a parking space.

Looking out the car window Casey frowned at the sight of an old church like building, "Um Alex, I'm flattered but its a little early for marriage."

"Hahaha, don't flatter yourself. It's an old movie theatre and tonight they're showing The Woman in Black and Poltergeist."

"So, just be clear...we're watching ghost films in a creepy movie theatre?"

"That about sums it up, but first there's this great burger bar just around the corner, their milkshake a are to die for...trust me I know these things." Grinned Alex as Casey groaned at her joke.

After a lively meal which was filled with easy conversation, light flirting and laughter, they headed for the movie theater, cuddling close as The Woman in Black began, Alex couldn't help the wide smile on her face as she felt Casey's hand in her own.

Feeling Casey jump, Alex failed to suppress her laughter, "Really? You played Monopoly with a 'ghost', but you're jumping like a nine year old at a movie."

"Bite me!" Muttered Casey, hiding her eyes as the creepy film continued, only to jump again as she felt Alex lightly bite her arm.

Seeing Casey's look of surprise, Alex shrugged, "Just doing as I'm told."

"There really is a first time for everything." Muttered Casey, jumping again.

Stepping out of the theater, Casey linked her arm through Alex's as they walked back to the car, "I think you're trying to give me a heart attack." Mumbled Casey.

"Oh, don't be such a big baby." Laughed Alex.

"You going to tell me ghost's aren't real?" Asked Casey.

"No, but I promise to protect you from anything that goes bump in the night." Grinned Alex, pressing a light kiss to Casey's lips as they reached her car.

Arriving back at their apartment, Casey poured them both a glass of wine as they curled up on the couch, Mozart playing softly in the background, the full moon providing the only light in the room. As she threaded her fingers through Alex's silky blonde hair, Casey gave a sigh of contentment, "This is perfect."

"Its better than perfect." Muttered Alex, feeling relaxed.

"Al, I know this might sound strange considering we're living together and we share a bed every night but, I don't want to rush into making love."

"I feel the same, I don't want to ruin what we have." Replied Alex, pressing a soft kiss to Casey's lips, "Tonight, I just want to fall asleep wrapped in your arms."

"That we can do." Smiled Casey, using the remote she tuned off the radio, scooping the blonde into her arms she carried her towards their bedroom. Going about their nightly routine in a warm familiarity, Casey sighed in pleasure as Alex slid into bed next to her. Pulling the blonde close she whispered, "Good night Alex, thank you for a lovely if terrifying evening."

Giving a throaty chuckle Alex drew Casey in for a deep kiss, "Thank you for being you."

"Always." Smiled Casey, as they fell asleep wrapped in a tight embrace.

* * *

Sitting up Kim lent back against the headboard, trying to catch her breath and remember the dream that had frightened her so much, one of the exercises her therapist had suggested was writing down her nightmares so she could talk through them in their sessions.

"You okay?" Asked Abbie, her voice thick with sleep.

"Nightmare." Muttered Kim, hearing the sheets rustle as Abbie sat up, she tried not to flinch as the bare skin of their arms accidentally brushed.

"Want to talk about it." Asked Abbie.

Shaking her head no Kim explained, "I can't really remember it."

"I'm here if that changes."

"Will you...will you hold me?" Asked Kim in a soft voice.

"Always." Smiled Abbie, opening her arms she let Kim dictate how much contact she needed.

Resting her head on Abbie's shoulder, there was silence, just as Abbie thought Kim had fallen back to sleep she spoke. "Do you want children?"

"Maybe, I mean it's not something I've thought a lot about. Before I met you I didn't imagine wanting to settle down, then you smiled at me and I was sunk." Admitted Abbie. "What about you?"

"I always thought I wouldn't want them, but now, now I'm not sure." Replied Kim.

"We don't have to decide now, but I think I'd like a little girl who looks like you." Admitted Abbie.

"And a little boy as mischievous as you." Smiled Kim.

"Sounds perfect." Whispered Abbie.

"I want that. I want my life back. I want to get better."

"You will get better and we are going to have a long and happy life together. I promise."

"Thank you."

"For what?" Asked Abbie.

"Standing by me, I know it's not been easy..."

"Do you remember when we went ice skating?" Feeling Kim nod she continued, "We weren't even together and I had fallen on my ass for the millionth time, so there I was sitting on the ice when you skated over all graceful and sat next to me on the ice. I asked you why and you said..."

"I said, you shouldn't be the only one with a cold ass." Replied Kim laughing at the memory.

"That's when I knew you were the woman I wanted to grow old with. Kim I've loved you since that day and I can honestly say, I fall in love with you a hundred times a day and even after all this time you give me butterfly's when you smile. So, you don't need to say thank you, not now not ever."

"I love you Abbie." Whispered Kim, pressing her lips to Abbie's in a slow kiss that was fleeting, yet filled with love.

* * *

Sunday afternoon, found Casey and Alex cruising down the freeway, the winter sun glinting off the snow that had fallen over night. "So where are we going, for this special surprise?" Asked Alex.

"You'll see." Smirked Casey, as she returned her attention to the slick roads.

Understanding Casey's need to concentrate on the roads, Alex let her mind wander back to the breakfast of fresh fruit and pancakes Casey had prepared for them that morning, one they shared in bed whilst reading the papers and sharing light conversation. Once dressed Casey had announced she had a surprise planned for that afternoon and they needed to leave soon to make their appointment on time. Looking out the window she felt her confusion continue to grow the further out of the city they travelled, suppressing the urge to ask Casey for a clue, she settled for relaxing in her seat, her hand resting lightly on Casey's thigh as the radio played softly.

Pulling up at the airfield Casey turned off the ignition and turned to the confused blonde in the passenger seat, "You said skydiving was on your bucket list, I thought we 'd cross it off together."

"But-but you hate heights!" Replied Alex as she read the sign for indoor skydiving.

"I do and if I die I want you to know I'm going to haunt you, make you look like the local crazy ADA who talks to herself in corridors." Grinned Casey.

"Deal." Grinned Alex, pressing a kiss to Casey's lips, You're too good to me."

"Alex, I told you, I want to make all your dreams come true, the big and the small. This was a big one, reading Harry Potter and spending time with your parents are easy. Who knows maybe we'll get married and honeymoon in Paris. I'm in love with you Alexandra Cabot and I intend to spend forever showing you, just how much. Now come on before I chicken out."

Stepping out of the car, Alex linked their hands together, her heart racing not at the thought of skydiving but at the thought of one day marrying Casey.

**Leave your thoughts? **


	18. Chapter 18

**A/N: Chapter for you! Hope you all enjoy!**

"I just want you to know that I am NEVER doing anything like that ever again." Casey gasps, her voice trembling as she and a cackling Alex walk back to her car.

Alex continues to giggle as she pauses by the passenger side door and takes both her lover's hands into her own. A dreamy smile crosses her lips as she leans in as if she is going to give Casey a genuine kiss before she pauses just sigh of the redhead's lips long enough to whisper, "You screamed like a little girl."

Rolling her eyes at her cackling girlfriend, Casey gives Alex a swat to the shoulder. "You're a jerk." She states, though there is an amused smile tugging at her lips. "And for you information, I am a girl, so it's only fair that I sound like one."

"Right," Alex responds, nodding her head as she slides into the car with Casey not too far behind. "But I thought it was fun! The wind in your hair, your adrenaline pumping, c'mon Casey, it was perfect."

"It was. Because I was with you." Casey says softly as she reaches over and gently takes one of Alex's hands in her own across the console. "Despite the fact that you have managed to scare me out of my wits all within the span of nearly three days, I've enjoyed every single moment of it, because I got to spend it with you."

Alex grins bashfully as a blush covers her cheeks and she shakes her head. "You're so cheesy." She chuckles before she leans across the consol and presses a loving kiss to the other woman's lips. "But it's really sweet. And I love you."

Casey grins as she leans in, pressing their lips together once again in a gentle kiss. "And I love you too." she murmurs before pulling back to start the car. "Even if you do have some sick sense of romance."

"Isn't that why you love me?" Alex retorts with a smug look. After a small moment of silence as they drive back into the city, Alex can't help but keep from watching Casey once again. The foundation in which their love was built, she just isn't quite sure she believes that it's all real just yet. For the longest of times she is sure she was going to end up alone like many of the bitter old ladies she occasionally encounters.

But now.

Now she has somehow manages to find a woman who loves her unconditionally. How did she manage to get so lucky? Surly she thought she would've continued to sit and watch her friends dwell in their happy prospering relationships.

"I can hear you thinking." Casey breaks the silence with a smirk tugging at the corner of her lips as she keeps her eyes on the road. "What's going on in that beautiful head of yours?"

"I don't know. Just thinking." Alex answers with a small shrug.

"Yeah? Well what about?"

"You."

"Me? Well, now, it can't just be me that's got you thinking that hard." Casey says with a small chuckle. "What about me?"

"I don't know…just how we're together. It's like we've known each other for ages, but in reality we really haven't we're already living together and acting like we have and I just…I love you so much and it's just all so surreal for everything to be happening this fast."

Reaching over, Casey takes Alex's hand once again while keeping her other focused on the steering wheel. "I remember once my mother used to tell me that true love doesn't have a time limit. Love happens when it happens and it can take us by surprise and to be honest, I don't think I've ever been more surprised than with how I've fast and so deeply I have fallen in love with you."

Alex grins again as she interlaces their fingers. "Your mother sounds like a smart woman."

"She is." Casey responds with a grin of her own. "I'm sure you'll love her."

"I'm looking forward to it."

Arriving back at their apartment, Alex sighs heavily yet happily as she drops her things by the door. "I never knew adrenaline could tire you out so much."

"You have no idea." Casey chuckles as she follows the blonde to the couch. "Have you heard from Serena at all since we got back?"

Checking her phone once again to make sure, Alex shakes her head as she stretches out on the sofa with her lover cuddling her from behind. "No, I haven't. The last we talked was of her going to find Olivia and I had assumed things had worked out from there. Have you spoken to Abbie?"

Thinking, Casey gives a half shrug as she combs her fingers gently through Alex's hair. "We talked on the phone not too long ago. She told me Kim was going to therapy now, which is a good thing for the both of them."

"I agree. I just…I don't want to rush Kim into anything, but I miss her. I feel like I haven't seen her at all since…you know. I just can't believe all of that happened to her and it's made her this way. I've never seen her like this Casey, and to be honest, it actually scares me a lot. Kim's strong, confident, and everything else in between. Seeing her so fragile terrifies me."

"Well given what happened to her, I can't imagine how hard it must be for her to be around people. In time, I think she'll be back."

"I hope so." Alex murmurs, resting her head on Casey's shoulder for comfort. "Can I ask you something Casey?"

Casey hums in response, signaling that she's almost half asleep with in the short amount of time that they had fallen to the couch.

"Who's Jennifer?"

This causes Casey's eyes to fly open in response as any type of formal response proceeds to die on her lips and she can only come up with the most incoherent and probably juvenile response her brain can concoct.

"Uh…"

* * *

"Did we manage to make it through the night?" Dr. Stevens asks gently as she tilts her head to the side, silently waiting for the other woman to respond to her question.

Biting down on her bottom lip, Kim shakes her head as her knee continues to bounce nervously up and down. "No…I…I had a nightmare. It woke me up." she responds, her eyes drifting down to the composition notebook in her lap.

"Do you remember what happened?" the doctor asks in her same gentle tone once again. "Did you write it down like we've been doing in our past sessions?"

"I was going to write it down, but I couldn't remember it…not all of it at least. I just know that it was equally as terrible as the others." Kim trails off quietly.

"Would you mind telling me what you do remember?"

Kim falls silent for a long moment, her mouth opening and closing rapidly as she tries to figure out what to respond with as her brain wracks itself for the memories. "I…I remember his hands mostly. How I could feel them all over me. I remember him stroking my cheek, pretending to be gentle before he hit me. I remember when he pushed me on my knees and he…" the brunette pauses as she feels her breath hitch in her throat before she shakes her head. "I'm sorry. I-I can't…"

Dr. Stevens nods as she gives her patient time to gather herself. "It's alright. We will go at whatever pace that you need." She says, scribbling notes down on her pad before she crosses one leg over the other and tilts her head again. "You told me in our last visit that you went to the clinic…how are you holding up with that?"

"I don't know…I feel…I feel like a monster." Kim murmurs, ducking her head once again as she nervously begins to wring her hands. "I know that I couldn't have kept it. Not when I would have hated it knowing who its father was and where it came from. I know that sounds cruel, but I couldn't help it. I would've hated it because every day it would have been a constant reminder. But at the same time…I took an innocent life; something that wasn't mine to take and something that wasn't mine to take. I tell myself that I didn't have a choice but…I don't know…"

"What does Abbie think?"

"Abbie…she told me that no matter what I decide to do, she'll support me every step of the way. She was there with me at the clinic when I got the…you know. She held my hand. Last night I asked her if she wanted children? She told me she wouldn't mind it."

"It's progress that the two of you are communicating." Dr. Stevens says with a small smile as she nods her head and continues to make more notes. "How are your flashbacks coming?"

A breathy chuckle escapes Kim's lips as she shakes her head. "Heh, they're not as frequent as they were…aren't as frequent as the nightmares. A lot of them happen when I'm in the shower. Sometimes I start to slip in to one when I'm touched…"

"That must be hard? Given the state of your relationship."

"It…it is. Abbie…I don't think she understands it. I'm not saying she isn't going to be there for me because she is and I know she will be the entire time, but being there and understanding are two completely different concepts. I can see the hurt in her eyes whenever I flinch from her touch. I—I don't do it on purpose, but if our arms brush or she touches me, I just can't help it. We kissed last night and it…it just wasn't the same. I was afraid I was going to feel his lips instead of hers."

Noticing the attorney shift for about the hundredth time, Dr. Stevens frowns but continues on. "Have the two of you talked this over? Have you explained to her why you don't respond to physical contact the way you did before your abduction?"

Nodding her head, Kim's fingers continue to toy at her sleeves. "She says she understands me and she's willing to wait for however long she needs to."

Finally, having seen it long enough, Dr. Stevens places her pen and notepad on her desk before she leans forward, resting her forearms on her knees, minimizing the space between them. "Kimberly, I've been noticing you tugging at your sleeves for the past hour of our session. Can you roll them up for me?"

Kim pales and her eyes widen for a moment before she snaps her head down and shakes it. "Um, I really don't think that's necessary. It's…very chilly out so if you're wondering why I'm wearing long sleeves, that's why."

"Kim please…I can't help you if you won't let me." the doctor pleads.

Sighing heavily, Kim slowly rolls up her sleeves and turns her palms upwards, looking away as her therapist examines the indication markings that speak more than she ever could.

Dr. Steven bites her lip before she sighs and leans back in her chair. "Kim, you know that I cannot clear you to go back to work when I know this is happening." She says gently as she shakes her head. "Why are you doing this to yourself?"

"It helps me sleep." The attorney mumbles with a shrug as she pulls down her sleeves. "It doesn't stop the nightmares, but it at least helps me get some sleep and I don't feel as anxious or as paranoid."

"You're causing a danger to your health."

"I'm fine."

"You need help Kimberly."

"I don't have an addiction!" Kim yells only to fall silent as she is shocked by the forcefulness of her own voice. "I don't have an addiction…"

Dr. Stevens folds her hands together as she continues on softly. "Kim, you have a problem. The narcotics that you were injected with while you were in captivity had more than enough time to take root in your system. You need help. I can't force you into doing anything and I can only offer my strong suggestion, but you need to start thinking about a rehab facility."

"Rehab facilities are for addicts…" Kim responds firmly as she shakes her head. "I'm no addict."

"Then prove it…" the doctor challenges as she sees the assistant district attorney persona shine through for a split second before it's gone. "Prove to me that you don't have a problem and you need to tell Abbie about what's been going on."

Nodding, Kim drops her gaze to her sleeps as she shakily nods once more. "I will…"

**Leave your thoughts? **


	19. Chapter 19

"J-Jennifer?" Stuttered Casey.

"I kind of remember the name, but its vague and I saw the missed calls from her on your phone." Replied the blonde.

"She was my ex-girlfriend, we broke up when she cheated on me and I moved to New York." Replied Casey.

"Casey..if you don't want to tell me that's fine." Replied Alex with a tight smile, "I just need to know you're not still in love with her?"

Dragging her hands through her hair Casey sighed, it wasn't that she didn't want to tell Alex about Jennifer, she just didn't relish the thought of being vulnerable and although her heart had healed the betrayal still stung. "I think a part of me will always love Jennifer, she was the first woman I truly loved and saw a future with, but no I'm not in love with her, if that makes sense?"

Giving a nod, Alex watched in silence as Casey walked to her book shelf removing a picture from inside a well read book, coming back to the couch she passed it to Alex. Pointing to an attractive blonde who was grinning at the camera Casey said, "That's Jennifer, she was an interior designer. We met at a gallery opening and for me at least it was love at first sight. She was smart, funny and passionate about art, but as time went on I started to find she was also controlling, manipulative and only with me for the status and money."

"Case..." Whispered Alex seeing unshed tears in Casey's eyes.

"I'm fine, I want to tell you, it's important you know that the way I feel about you is different than what I felt for her." Replied Casey with a smile, "Within three months we were living together and I thought we would get married and live happily ever after. I overlooked the way she would check my phone, read my emails, the fact she was sleeping around behind my back, hell, I even overlooked the fact she subtly came between me and my parents, love really is blind."

Shaking her head Casey took a deep breath and went on, "I caught this big case at work, a cross agency's thing and you know the hours involved in a case like that." Seeing Alex nod and link their hands she went on, "Anyway after weeks of working until the small hours of the morning, I managed to make it home at a reasonable time. So, I let myself in and the apartment was in darkness, I could hear noises coming from our bedroom." Pausing Casey took a deep breath, "I opened the door and she was in bed with her boss, in our bed."

"Oh Case." Whispered Alex tightening her grip on Casey's hand.

"I couldn't stay, I ran out and checked into a hotel, the next day I applied for the job in New York, I never went back to the apartment, a friend went back to the apartment for me and packed up my clothes and books, I didn't want anything else. Six weeks later, I loaded up my car car and here I am."

"Then you met me." Smiled Alex.

"Then I met you." Agreed Casey, "When Abbie first suggested the date, I admit I wasn't sure about meeting someone new, I didn't think I would ever want to make myself vulnerable like that again."

"When did you..."

"Know I loved you?" Asked Casey, seeing the blonde nod she thought for a second, "I don't think there was a defining moment, it just crept up on me and now it know I can't live without you, even if you do hog the covers, frighten me half to death with your taste in films and made me jump out of a plane."

"Just reminding you you're alive." Grinned Alex before shifting so she was straddling Casey's waist, moving so their lips were a apart Alex whispered, "Let me make love to you, let me show you how much I love you."

Not trusting her voice, Casey nodded and accepted the hand Alex held out to her leading her to the bedroom.

* * *

Monday morning a towel clad Alex found herself standing in front of what was now 'her side' of their closet, as she debated what to wear for her first day back at the DA's office. As she held up a black suit she was shocked to find her hand shaking. "Come on get it together Cabot." Muttered Alex under her breath.

"I like what your wearing now." Offered Casey her voice making Alex jump.

"Not sure Donnelly would approve." Replied Alex, a blush coloring her cheeks as she remembered their activities the night before.

Casey could hear the nerves in her girlfriends voice, crossing the room she wrapped her arms around the blonde and pressed a small kiss behind her ear, "You know, no matter what happens today I'll be by your side."

"I know, it's stupid I feel more nervous today than on my first day." Replied Alex, humming in pleasure as Casey continued pressing kisses to her neck.

"You're going to be brilliant and you might want to consider one of those high collard shirts you love so much." Smiled Casey as she pressed a soft kiss to one of the marks that littered Alex's neck.  
"There's no need to look so pleased with yourself." Muttered Alex as she pulled out a high collard white shirt and started to get dressed so they could drive to work together.

By the end of the day it felt to Alex as if she had never been away, people still did horrendous things to each other, Elliott still had anger management issues, Munch had a conspiracy for every situation, Fin was his usual laid back self, Olivia still gave her all and Petrovsky wasn't willing to give her an inch of leeway, even if she did grudgingly admit she was pleased to see Alex back.

Waiting for Casey to lock their office door, Alex linked their hands together as they walked back to Casey's car, stopping to pick up take out they were soon cuddled on the sofa enjoying a glass of wine. "So I was thinking we could invite the crazy gang over for brunch on Saturday?" Suggested Casey

"That sounds nice, I'll ask Rena tomorrow at lunch and give Abbie and Kim a call." Smiled Alex.

"Sounds like a plan, I'll even cook."

"Please no! These people are our friends, we can't do that to them." Laughed Alex, as she found herself pressed back against the cushions as Casey tickled her, "I yield, I yield." Laughed Alex, standing from the couch.

"Haha, feel the awesomeness that is Casey Novak." Grinned Casey waving her arms in the air, "Oomph." Muttered Casey as a cushion was aimed at her head by the retreating blonde, before giving chase. Pulling Alex into her arms Casey pressed a gentle kiss to her lips, the kiss soon becoming heated as Casey carried her into the bedroom.

* * *

Abbie had been surprised when Kim agreed to brunch at Casey's, as she watched her girlfriend interact with her friends she could see the tension in her face and wondered once again if Kim would ever fully heal.

Feeling Abbie's scrutiny Kim stood and headed for the bathroom, clicking the lock closed on the bathroom door, Kim sat on the closed toilet lid pulling the preloaded syringe out of her pocket, as she examined the liquid she felt her heart flutter with guilt, she should stop, she could stop, couldn't she? Before she could ponder the implications she heard laugher coming from the other room, guilt being quickly replaced by fear and anger. With a practiced ease she tied her hair band tight around her bicep and inserted the needle, a feeling of peace spreading through her as the welcoming warmth of the liquid beginning to pump through her body.

Standing she flushed the chain and washed her hands, depositing the used syringe and hair band in her jacket, taking a deep breath she unlocked the door and headed into lounge, the conversation seemingly coming to a halt at her arrival, "Please don't stop the frivolity on my account."

"We were just talking about the time I walked in on Jack when he was getting changed." Offered Serena with a smile.

"Really?" Asked Kim in a disbelieving tone.

Frowning at her girlfriends tone, "Kim..."

"Yes Abigail? Oh, I'm sorry are you worried I'll insult the woman you want to fuck?"

There was a moment of shocked silence, Kim never swore let alone so venomously. "Maybe we should go." Muttered Abbie.

"Why? I thought this was a celebration? I mean Alex is back in the DA's office, Serena is back to being Disney happy, Olivia is getting an award for bringing down the bad guy and you get to play the hero taking care of me. So lets celebrate!"

"Kim are you okay? Have you taken something?" Asked Liv, recognizing the glassy look in Kim's eyes.

"Oh look, New York's finest detective is at work. You know if you were a better detective then you would have found me sooner!"

"Kim I did everything..."

"NO! He raped me because you didn't find me!" Growled Kim pointing a finger at Olivia as the rest of the room's inhabitants sat frozen in shock, "Maybe you wanted me dead? Get rid of the outsider!"

Abbie was the first to recover, "Kim, calm down, please calm down. No one wants you dead, we did everything we could to find you."

"Screw you." Shouted Kim, "He beat me, he raped me, all because he wanted information. Information I didn't have! You know, it was Serena he wanted, he figured she'd be easier to break. Maybe if he had taken Serena you would have worked harder." Yelled Kim.

"Kim, please calm down, we're all here for you." Whispered Alex.

Spinning so she was facing Alex, Kim sneered "At least you get your office back now! After all you're a better lawyer than me! Isn't that what you think."  
"Kimberly, stop this now." Replied Abbie in a firm voice, "No one thinks that, so please stop.

"Why? It's all true...Alex gets...gets..." Clutching her head Kim dropped to her knees, a trickle of blood coming from her nose.

"Call an ambulance." Ordered Liv.

Dropping next to Kim, reaching out a hand to check her over, she felt her heart brake as Kim begged, "Don't touch me! Please don't touch me." Her voice thick with fear, as her eyes rolled up into her head and she started to convulse.

* * *

As she sat in the ambulance watching them work on her girlfriend, Abbie felt as if she was in a nightmare she couldn't wake up form. Twice they had been forced to shock Kim, each time Abbie's heart had clenched in fear as Kim's body spasmed from the jolt of electricity it received. Reaching the hospital Kim was rushing into a trauma room as a kindly nurse guided Abbie to the waiting room, attempting to get the relevant information, a process that sped up considerably once the others arrived, Alex taking charge of filling out the forms as Abbie stared blankly at the floor, images from the ambulance replaying in her head like a horror film.

They sat in silence as they waited for news, both Serena and Olivia trying not to focus on the fact they were in the same waiting room as when they had 'lost' Alex. Thirty minutes later a doctor approached them, "Family of Miss Greylek?"

Seeing Abbie's blank look Casey answered for her, "That's us, this is Abbie Carmichael, Miss Greylek's partner."

"I'm Doctor Baler, Miss Greylek presented with cardiac distress brought on by the drugs in her system, how long has she been using?"

"She was kidnapped and forced to take the drugs, I didn't realize she was still using them." Replied Abbie her voice devoid of all infliction.

"I'm sorry. Do you know what she was injected with?"

"Our techs found heroine and speed as well as blue liquid meth." Replied Liv, "As far as we know it wasn't on sale."

"Addicts can be very resourceful." Replied the doctor,

"She's not an addict!" Snapped Abbie.

"I'm sorry." Replied the doctor with a gentle smile.

"How is she?" Asked Alex.

"We've managed to stabilize her for now, unfortunately the drugs have caused damage to Miss Greylek's system, how much we won't know for certain until we've run more tests. For now, we will be keeping her sedated and once she wakes up have one of our drug counselors speak with her, we have several program's that can offer help, providing she wants it."

"Thank you, can we see her?" Asked Serena.

"Once she's settled in her room, I'll have a nurse come and collect you." Smiled the doctor, "If you have any other questions, the feel free to have the nurse page me. In the meantime, I'll have some literature brought for you to read through."

"Thank you." Replied Liv shaking his hand. Once he had left they sat in silence as they tried to process the information they had received.

"Excuse me." Muttered Abbie striding out of the waiting room.

"I'll go." Said Casey standing and following in the brunettes footsteps. Walking into the small hospital chapel, she sat in the pew next to her friend, waiting in silence for Abbie to speak.

"What if I can't do it?" Asked Abbie her voice rough with unshed tears.

"Do what?" Asked Casey with a frown.

"Love her enough to make her want to fight her demons." Replied Abbie.

"Abbie..."

"I don't know how to make it better and every time I feel as if we've taken a step forward something knocks me on my ass. She shudders at my touch, she doesn't eat or sleep and apparently she's been using drugs and I didn't even notice! I let her down and she hates me for it. I hate me for it."

"Abbie, it's okay to admit you're struggling, I know this happened to Kim, but it happened to you too." Asked Casey in a gentle voice. Reaching into her jacket pocket Abbie pulled out a small velvet box and handed it to Casey, who gave a low whistle as she recognized the sapphire engagement ring inside, "Your grandma's ring."

"Before all this I was planning to ask her to marry me and now...now she can't even look at me. What if I've lost her?" Whispered Abbie as she started to sob.

Pulling her friend into an awkward hug Casey held her, whispering words of nonsense until her sobs turned to quiet tears and they lapsed into silence.

**Leave your thoughts? **


	20. Chapter 20

**A/N: Long overdue. Hope you like it! **

"The two of you seem to be close." Sophia states as she continues prepping the chicken to place in the oven. She glances over her shoulder and watches how her daughter's movements still briefly before she turns her attention back to the chicken and tries again. "You and Casey…you seem close."

"We're in love." Alex says simply as she continues to cut the lettuce to prepare the salad that is going to go with their meal.

This time, it's Sophia who is silent as she tries to comprehend the explanation. "Don't you think that it's a bit…soon, for you start saying things like that?"

Alex sighs heavily and puts down the knife before she turns around the face her mother. "Mom, is that what this is? Is that why you invited me and Casey over for dinner? So you could grill me on how unrealistic it is that we are in love?"

"No…that's not why I asked you. I asked you because ever since you have been back there hasn't really been a time for all of us to get to get together." Sophia explains just as firmly. "I just…I want you to help me understand it Alex. Before you…before what happened…happened, you hardly even knew each other and now you're back and she's the only person you spend your time with. I just…I find it hard to comprehend."

"It's…it's not something that I can just explain Mom." Alex explains with a quiet sigh. "Casey…she's been amazing. She's been there for me when I've needed her and for the first time, I actually feel like I found someone who cares about me for me, not for my job, my status, my looks, or my money. Casey doesn't care about any of that. She just loves me for me."

"And for that I am ecstatic. I just…I'm afraid I don't understand how this all happened so fast. I still…I'm still in shock from everything that's happened and it's been almost a month and a half. I just want to understand."

Alex closes her eyes as she heavily contemplates about telling her mother about her time as a 'ghost'. She knows that she told Serena and to an extent she knows that her best friend understands, but for some odd reason, she just can't bring herself to share such a thing with her mother. Overall, she just wants to forget about everything that has happened, and she wants to move on with her life with the woman she loves more than anyone in the entire world.

"Mom," Alex says softly as she crosses the kitchen and gently takes her mother's hands into her own. "I know that everything is a lot to understand right now, but in time, everything will make sense. Casey…she's the perfect woman Mom. She loves me, she understands me, she respects you and Daddy…I just don't see how it could get anymore perfect than that. If you're worried about her hurting me, you don't have to be. I'm confident that she will never do anything to hurt me."

Sophia slowly nods her head before a soft grin crosses her lips. "That's all I want…" she murmurs as she pulls her daughter in for a hug. As she feels Alex's arms around her, she closes her eyes and inhales softly, her mind going back to the time where she thought that she would never be able to hold her only child ever again and she thanks whoever is listening that she has been giving a second chance to do so.

Meanwhile, Casey sits out on the back patio deck engaged in a game of chess with Alexander and she is not shy to declare that she is losing terribly. As she nervously fiddles with her fingers in her hands, she notices that it has been several minutes before the man across from her has taken his turn.

"Um, Sir…?" she asks cautiously, hoping that she isn't interrupting a serious train of thought.

Alexander blinks rapidly, bringing himself out of his mental revere before he sits up straighter and leans back in his chair. "I'm sorry, I was thinking." He responds before he clears his through and puts on a firm face. "What are you intentions with my daughter?"

This time, it's Casey who blinks rapidly as she finds herself to be completely and totally floored by the question. "I—I …Sir?"

"I'm sorry." Alexander responds with a sigh as he runs a hand through his graying hair. "That came out a lot harsher than I had intended. I meant…what are your plans in your relationship with my daughter?"

"Sir I understand how you can be a little…skeptical for lack of a better term." Casey replies with an awkward chuckle as she nervously rubs at the back of her neck. "The circumstances in which Alex and I met were a little unorthodox and the process in which we fell in love is even more complex than that. But Sir, I can promise you that I love your daughter with sound mind and body. Never once in my life have I ever come across someone so amazing, beautiful, intelligent and selfless; and those are just to name a few. Alex is the light of my world, Sir, and I promise you that I will protect her and do anything within my power to keep from hurting her."

"So you love her."

"Yes Sir, I do. More than anything."

Alexander hums as he scratches the scruff of his beard. He then leans forward, picking up the Queen piece before he moves it across the board and sets it down confidently on a square. "Checkmate." He states, a triumphant grin spreading across his face as he catches the defeated expression of his daughter's lover. "Cheer up. You are honestly the most competition I've had in a very long time. Well, next to Alexandra of course."

"Forgive me Sir, but you just pummeled me." Casey says with a chuckle as they set about resetting the game.

"I know." the older man responds with a smirk, and now Casey knows where Alex gets it from. "Most people don't usually last as long as you did. Shall we play another game?"

"Only if you're up for losing this time, Sir."

* * *

"I already told you no." Kim says firmly as she walks three strides ahead of her partner into their apartment. She immediately climbs the stairs and heads for the bedroom to hopefully catch a shower and change into a pair of clothes that don't smell like hospital sterilizer.

"But Kim…" Abbie sighs in response as she takes the stairs two steps at a time until she reaches the bedroom as well. She watches as Kim moves around the room with a quickened pace, throwing clothes and toiletries onto the bed. "Kim will you please listen to me?"

"There isn't anything we need to talk about." Kim states, gathering her items in her arms before she storms into the bathroom, slamming the door and locking it behind her.

Sighing heavily, Abbie sits on the edge of the bed and drops her head into her hands. As she listens to the shower start, she gets up and makes her way over to the dresser where she opens the top drawer that contains her clothes. She moves a few shirts around before she pulls out the black velvet ring box and moves back over to the bed.

Once again sitting on the mattress, the brunette opens the ring box as her eyes once again land on the sapphire ring nestled within the silk bedding of the case. As being the first born child to her parents, Abbie remembers the day that she was presented with the engagement ring that was owned by her grandmother. In her younger years, she remembers she thought nothing much of the idea as she had no intention of settling down; as she simply enjoyed the chase. But ever since she met Kim, she has thought about nothing but proposing to her with that very same ring.

She hates the nature of circumstances for bringing this shit storm into their lives right before she was planning to propose. She often wonders how different things would be right now, had Edward Cant not happened. At the mere thought of the dead man, Abbie wishes that she had only gotten a second alone with him; just long enough so she could make him feel the pain he caused everyone, the pain he caused Kim, twenty times over and over again.

It is about fifteen minutes after the shower shut off before Kim emerges from the restroom only to find Abbie seated on the edge of the bed waiting for her. She squares her jaw and moves about the room, continuing to towel her hair dry. "I'm not a china doll Abbie. I'm not going to break. Stop looking at me like I am."

"Are you sure? Because one minute you're this fragile human being and the next minute you're jumping down everyone's throats. But at least now I know what it is." Abbie responds, softly yet firmly. "How long have you been using them?"

"Does it matter?" Kim snorts sarcastically as she begins dragging a brush through her wet, tangled hair.

"Hell yes it matters!" Abbie shouts before she catches herself and takes a deep breath. "Kim, I know right now it doesn't seem like much and you say you feel fine, but…you died in the ambulance Kim. They had to shock you twice in order to restart your heart."

"But I didn't die." Kim retorts, trying to keep the fearful tremor out of her voice at hearing that she coded in the ambulance on the way to the hospital. Though she won't care to admit it out loud, the thought of being on the outskirts of death terrifies her completely, but again, she just won't admit it.

Sighing heavily, Abbie crosses the room to where her lover is standing in front of the vanity mirror. She gently takes the younger woman's hand in her own before gently bringing it to her lips. Her heart clenches in sadness as she sees the smallest of flinches travel through Kim's body at the action. "Come sit with me? Please? Just for a little while?"

Nodding, Kim allows her lover to led her over to the mattress where they both settle on the edge. She notices the confliction in Abbie's eyes, but at the moment she just can't bring herself to say anything."

"I…I guess there isn't a proper way to do this." Abbie says quietly as she briefly drops her head. "Kim, you need help. I know you don't want to admit it, but you do. Ever since Cant you haven't been yourself and I completely understand that. The things he did to you…I just can't even think about them. But you have to do something to make yourself get better. I really think that the rehab would be good for you."

"I don't need to go to a rehab center Abigail!"

"Kim, you've been using drugs! Drugs that hurt you before and they've just recently hurt you again! I'm not saying that you're an addict, but I'm saying that we need to stop this before it gets out of control."

Seeing Kim tighten her jaw and look away, Abbie sighs quietly as she pulls the ring box from her pocket. "Before all of this happened, I had…well I thought that it was time for us to take our relationship to the next step. I had everything planned out, a dinner, a romantic trip to the lake where 'will you marry me' was gonna be spelled out in floating candles. Then all of this happened everything has just changed. I still love you as much as I did the very first time I met you, but we can't move on if our pain continues to cripple us."

Taking a deep breath, Abbie opens the ring box and holds it up for Kim to see. "My father gave this to me for when I found someone who I knew I wanted to spend my life with and I know for a fact that someone is you, but we need to heal first…both of us." She explains holding out the velvet box. "I…I want to give this to you so you can look at it every day and remember that I'm not going anywhere. No matter what happens to us, no matter how you feel or what we go though; I'm not going anywhere. I want to give this to you, but only if you promise me you'll try out the patient rehab."

"Abbie…" Kim says softly, tears stinging her eyes as she takes in the antique ring.

"Please, Kim, I know you're scared, but I promise I'll be there for you. I want to be there…I want to help. So please…take the ring, and at least try to rehab." Abbie whispers softly. "I want you to get better."

Nodding, Kim accepts the ring as her internal voices continuing to argue and conflict amongst one another about whether or not she has made the right decision.

**Hmmm, leave your thoughts? **


	21. Chapter 21

A week later Alex was spending the evening with her mother at the opera and Casey was meeting Abbie for a drink, with everything that had happened since Casey had moved to New York the two hadn't spent much tie together, so had arranged to meet up to watch the Mets game in a local sports bar.

"So your not engaged, but you gave her the ring?" Asked Casey, taking a swig of the beer Abbie handed her.

"Yeah, I mean it was more about me showing her that I wasn't going to run, no mater how difficult things get. I love her Case, more than I ever thought possible, and I want to show her I'm not going to run." Explained Abbie.

Reaching across the table Casey gave her friends hand a squeeze."Abbie, you've been an amazing girlfriend. How are you doing?"

"I'm okay, Kim is the one struggling, not me." Replied Abbie with a shrug.

"Abbie...we've been friends for years, I know you and I can see in your eyes that you're not okay. If you don't want to talk then that's fine, just know I'm here for you when your ready. Anytime, day or night, I'm your best friend and I'm here for you always."

"I got a job offer." Replied Abbie.

"What's the job?" Asked Casey.

"Federal prosecutor, leading up a task force in Washington." Replied Abbie, peeling the label off her beer bottle.

"Wow, that's great." Replied Casey, seeing the look on Abbie's face she added, "Or not."

"How can I even think about moving to DC when Kim is the way she is?" Asked Abbie.

"Have you told Kim?"

"No, she's...she's struggling enough with...she has other things to worry about." Replied Abbie.

"You matter too." Replied Casey.

"I know, just not at the moment. Right now, all that matters is Kim and her getting better." Replied Abbie.

"But being a federal prosecutor has always been your dream, I'm sure if you talk to Kim she will understand and support you." Replied Casey.

"Maybe, but right now I'm focusing on Kim, there will be another chance at the federal job." Replied Abbie, taking a sip of her beer she asked, "How are things with you and Alex?"

Sensing Abbie wanted to change the subject Casey was happy to oblige, "Things are great, she's amazing. I honestly thought after Jennifer I wouldn't want to have another relationship but with Alex...with Alex I know she won't hurt me and I know I want to be with her for the rest of my life."

"See I told you, the two of you would be perfect for each other, so all of those threats you made, I take it...I'm now safe." Asked Abbie with a smirk.

Rolling her eyes Casey finished her beer and headed to the bar for another round, they spent the rest of the evening reminiscing about their teenage antics and their matching tattoo's before calling it a night. Arriving home Casey had just stepped out of the shower when there was a knock at the door, quickly pulling on a pair of sweat pants and her softball shirt she headed to open the door, thinking it was Alex, having forgotten her key again, she opened it without checking the peep-hole.

Recognising a familiar blonde waiting on the other-side of the door, Casey almost fell over her feet in shock, "J-Jennifer."

"Hi, I know you probably want to slam the door in my face, but I just need five minutes." Seeing Casey hesitate she added, "Please C Bear."

"Five minutes and don't call me that." Replied Casey, stepping aside to allow the blonde to pass.

"Sorry. Casey, I'm so sorry for everything that happened between us. I truly never meant to hurt you. I really did love you."

"Jennifer, I...I've moved on." Replied Casey.

"I heard." Replied Jennifer with a somewhat sad smile. "Whats her name?"

"Alexandr Cabot." Replied Casey a smile tugging at her lips from just saying the blondes name. "I love her ."

"I know, I can see it in your eyes, I just...you meant so much to me that I couldn't bear the thought of you hating me."

"I don't hate you. I did for a while but now, now I understand, we weren't meant for each other." Replied Casey.

"Alex, she makes you happy?" Asked Jennifer.

"She does." Smiled Casey, "Alex is like no one I've ever met, she's a neat freak, she is obsessive about the recycling, she is always loosing her keys. She is ridiculously stubborn and loves those trashy reality TV shows. I'm sure she cheats at chess, I just haven't worked out how yet and just saying her name makes me smile and when she walks into a room, my heart settles because I'm home. So yes, she makes me happy."

"Good, you deserve it, you deserve someone who love's you." Replied Jennifer.

"What about you?" Asked Casey.

"Me? I tok a job in Rome, I leave at the end of the week, I just couldn't leave with things...I didn't want anger to be the last thing between us."

"There's no anger, not on my part, not anymore and I hope you find happiness." Replied Casey.

"Thanks C Bear...sorry Casey." Replied the blonde, "I should go, it was good seeing you."

"Well I hope your new job goes well and you find happiness." Replied Casey, walking Jennifer to the door, they came face to face with Alex and her mother... "Alex, Mrs Cabot, this is Jennifer...my ex...she was just leaving." Stuttered Casey, suddenly realising she was dressed in sweats and a shirt, her hair wet and no bra.

Extending her hand out Alex shook Jennifer's hand torn between hating her for being attractive and having slept with Casey and wanting to jumping up and down because her cheating meant that Casey was now her's. "Its a pleasure."

"Theres no need to lie." Replied Jennifer with a smile, making Alex hate her just that bit more.

"Quite." Muttered Alex.

"I should get going, it was nice to meet you both and Casey, take care of yourself."

"And you." Replied Casey her attention still on the two Cabot women, the sound of the door closing braking her from her stupor. "H-how was the opera?"

"It was delightful, next time I insist you come with us." Answered Sophie, before giving her daughter a hug. Turning to Casey she asked, "Walk me to my car."

"Of course." Relied Casey with a small smile.

Once they were in the elevator Sophie turned to the younger woman, she could sense her nerves and having heard her words she knew Casey was truly in love with her daughter for who she was an not for the Cabot name, "You know, we heard what you said, we came in just as you were telling Jennifer about her feelings for Alex. Thank you for loving my baby-girl, it means a lot to me and whilst I might be old, I don't believe this we just clicked nonsense, but whatever happened you brought her back to us. The Alex I spent this evening with is the daughter I know and love, not the workaholic robot she became, before she...before."

Holding the car door open for the older woman, Casey replied, "Meeting Alex has changed my life, she is an amazing woman and I promise I will spend the rest of my life making her happy."

"I know you will, now get off inside." Replied Sophie with a smile, "Oh and Casey, she doesn't cheat at chess, but you might want to keep count of the pieces on the board."

"Thank you." Replied Casey with a chuckle.

Watching until the car was out of sight Casey headed back inside, she was to impatient to wait for the elevator, so took the stairs two at a time, arriving outside her apartment door she took a deep breath as she knocked lightly. As the door opened she studied Alex's expression for some clue as to what the blonde was thinking, unable to read her she blurted. "I didn't invite her, I got back from my drink with Abbie and I took a shower and then there was a knock at the door and I thought it was you and so I opened it. I wasn't sure what to do, so I let her in and we talked, thats all we just talked and..."

Her words were cut off my the blondes lips crashing against her own, "Stop! I heard what you said, did you mean it?"

"Yes, every word, I love you." Replied Casey.

'I love you too." Replied Alex, linking their hands and leading Casey towards their bedroom, where they spent the night affirming their love for each other.

* * *

Arriving at the church where the narcotics anonymous meeting was being held, Kim took a deep breath, she didn't want to be here, she didn't need to be here, she debated leaving but Abbie's words from when she gave her the ring, kept replaying in her head. Taking another deep breath she headed inside, taking a seat at the back she looked around, mildly surprised that the others people looked normal. As she listened to people sharing their stories of woe she was even more convinced that she didn't belong there, as the meeting came to an end Kim stood to leave when she was approached by a well dressed woman who looked as out of place as Kim felt.

"Hi, your new here. I'm Addison." Offered the redhead holding out a hand to Kim.

Reluctantly shaking the woman's hand, Kim forced a polite smile to her face, "Kim. I'm not an addict."

"It's okay, no one is judging you, least of all me. You look familiar, have we met before?"

"I don't think so, I'm an ADA so I've been in the paper a few times." Replied Kim.

"That must be it. You have time for a coffee? The stuff they serve here should come with a health warning and should know, I'm a doctor."

"I..."

"Come on, I'm buying." Added Addison with a smile.

"Sure." Replied Kim, the two walked in silence to a coffee shop just down the block from the church. Whilst Addison was at the counter ordering their drinks Kim subtly studied her, it was clear she was a woman with money, judging my the outfit and shoes she was wearing.

After placing their order, Addison walked back to their table, "Here we go."

"Thanks." Smiled Kim.

"So."

"So." Replied Kim.

"How about I tell you my story, you don't have to tell me anything, just listen."

"I don't have a story to tell." Replied Kim.

"Okay, so you came to an NA meeting for the coffee?" Asked Addison raising a sculpted eyebrow.

"Thought you weren't judging me? Thanks for the coffee." Asked Kim, standing to leave.

"I'm not, I promise you I'm not judging you. My first meeting I was as adamant I didn't need to be here as you are. So, please just give me five minutes and then you can leave no harm no foul."

"Five minutes." Relented Kim sitting down.

"I'm a doctor, a neonatal surgeon to be precise, the best in the country and that's not me bragging, its a fact, I was married and at the top of my profession, I had it all and then one day I didn't. My then husband is a brain surgeon and we drifted apart, we were both busy and I had an affair, he found out and well, long story short we got divorced. Although it was my fault it hurt and I started self-medication with pain killers, I didn't see it as a problem and then one day in the OR I froze and had it not been for another surgeon stepping in that woman and her baby would have died. I would have killed them." Pausing to take a sip of her coffee, Addison continued, "A friend, my now girlfriend made me realise I needed help and made me go to NA, that was four years ago. Don't get me wrong, I've slipped twice, once when my father died and once when Callie and I had some troubles, but I've been clean two years, so I know its not easy and I'm not expecting you to open up to me and tell me your life story, I just want you to know I'm here if you ever want to talk."

"Like I said, I don't have an addiction," Replied Kim.

"Okay, well when you're ready call me." Sliding her card across the table Addison stood to leave, "Kim, whoever gave you the rock around your neck, the one you haven't stopped fiddling with must love you, don't push them away, because this journey is hard and having someone to hold your hand, hold you, will make it so much easier."

"I told you..."

"I know what you said, but we both know its bull. So when your ready call me." Replied Addison, walking away before Kim could argue.

Leaving the coffee shop Kim headed toward the park, as she sat on the usual bench waiting for the guy to deliver her supplies. She gave a bitter laugh. Supplies. That's what she had taken to calling the drugs she wasn't willing to admit she couldn't function with out. Taking Addison's card out of her pocket she debated calling her, but she wasn't an addict she could walk away anytime. She jumped as someone sat down next to her, "Your late."

"I'm sorry your highness." Handing Kim the small vials he held his hand out for the money.

"I'll have to pay you next time, you know I'm good for it." Replied Kim, she couldn't risk taking anymore cash from their account without Abbie getting suspicious.

You have twenty-four hours or I'm going to take my money in another way."

Nodding, Kim left the bench and headed back to her car, starting the car she headed towards home, trying to figure out a way to come up with the cash to pay her dealer, as she stopped at a traffic light, a flashing sign above a pawn shop caught her eye. Parking she climbed out of the car, not allowing her mind to fully process what she was going to do as she entered the shop.

Bringing her hand up to the ring she had kept on the chain around her neck since Abbie had given it to her, closing her eyes she tried to will away the guilt as she reached up to unclasp the chain. Tilting the chain so the ring landed in the palm of her hand, she ran her thumb over blue stone before sliding it across the counter and excepting the notes the greasy man handed her, feeling sick to her stomach as she drove home.

* * *

It had been a week since Jennifer had visited and Casey had been called to the station to oversee an interview, as she was leaving she saw Olivia sitting at her desk surrounded by a stack of picture, since Alex had been back Casey had tried to forge a friendship with the detective and although it had been slow going they were making progress.

"Hey Liv, working late?"

"Hey Case, yeah I volunteered with Serena away at that conference I wasn't in a rush to get home."

"I know what you mean, Alex is there and the apartment seems so...quiet and strangely messy considering she's been gone less than twenty-four hours." Replied Casey with a grin. "So, what are you working on?"

"We raided a pawn shop, the owner was arrested for rape, he liked to take souvenirs so we're combing through his stuff trying to work out what is legit and what isn't in an effort to see if there are any more victims."

"Fun." Muttered Casey, dropping into the seta opposite Olivia, "I have nothing pressing this evening, you want some help or at the least some company? We can order pizza or Thai?"

"That sounds perfect." Smiled Liv.

Placing the order she handed Casey a stack of pictures and they worked in silence for half an hour, taking a break to eat there pizza, Casey was almost at the bottom of her stack when she recognised the ring in the picture. Looking up Liv noticed the worried look on Casey's face, "You okay?"

"Yeah, no. This ring, I recognise it, its Abbie's, well Kim's I guess since Abbie gave it to her." Muttered Casey.

"You think Kim is a victim?" Asked Liv standing and walking around the desk, to look over Casey's shoulder.

"No, there's a receipts and that's Kim's signature, she sold the ring, Abbie's grandmothers ring." Replied Casey, dragging a hand through her hair as she looked up at Olivia.

"What are we going to do?" Asked Liv.

"I don't know, I guess we have to tell Kim we found it." Replied Casey.

**Leave your thoughts? **


	22. Chapter 22

**A/N: What happens, when you make a mistake, and it's such a big mistake that you aren't quite sure that you will ever be able to fix it? The kind of mistake that leaves you so miserable that you vomit for hours because you're so sick with yourself? What do you do then? **

**Sorry, enough of that…hope you guys all like this chapter. **

Hanging up the phone Abbie felt sick to her stomach, she wanted to believe it was a mistake, that Kim was the same, sweet, dorky woman she had fallen in love with and would never do anything as hurtful as selling the ring. She could hear the TV playing in the lounge, the canned laughter contrasting with the atmosphere in their apartment, taking a deep breath she headed into lounge turning off the TV, the sudden silence jarring Kim from her staring contest with the wall.

"Abbie?"

"You sold the ring! My grandmothers ring!" Yelled Abbie.

"No...I told you I was mugged..."

"DON'T! Don't lie to me."

"Abbie...I..."

"You can't stop can you? Don't insult my intelligence or yours by continuing this...this charade." Replied Abbie, her voice sounding weak even to her own ears, her usual fight lacking.

"Abbie I..." Started Kim.

"No! Tell me why?" Asked Abbie.

"I...I..." Stuttered Kim.

"Was it for drugs?" Asked Abbie. Seeing Kim bow her head Abbie dragged a hand through her hair, "I'm done. I can't do this anymore."

"No. Please Abbie. Please don't leave me. I can do better." Begged Kim.

"Then check into rehab." Challenged Abbie, "Get help for our issues and not just the drugs."

"Is this about sex? Is that what you really want?" Yelled Kim tugging at her shirt, pulling it over her head.

Grabbing the blanket from the back of the couch Abbie wrapped it around Kim, "It's got nothing to do with sex! God, Kim I love you and I'm happy to wait as long as it takes! This is about you selling the ring I gave you, for drugs."

"I don't need rehab, I don't have an addiction." Snapped Kim.

"I'm not stupid! Don't treat me like I am. I'm done, we're done." Replied Abbie sadly, picking up her purse she turned to face Kim, opening her mouth several times she realized she didn't know what to say, She loved Kim but this woman in front of her wasn't really Kim. "I'm taking a job in DC, I'll come back for my stuff tomorrow."

"So everything you said was a lie?" Yelled Kim in a now familiar fit of anger.

"No, I love you but I can't be with you at the moment. You need to fix yourself and the only way you can do that is by admitting you have a problem. I can't watch you destroy yourself. Good bye Kim." Pressing a soft kiss to Kim's cheek Abbie left her heart sinking as she heard a loud thud and something smashing against the closed door.

* * *

Friday evening Casey rushed home from work, Alex had called her an hour before to let her know she and Serena had decided to catch an earlier flight and she would she would be waiting for her at home. Having not seen the blonde in a week Casey couldn't wait to hold her girlfriend in her arms, reaching their apartment she kicked off her shoes, and padded towards the lounge where she could hear classical music playing quietly, the room bathed in candle light, a bottle of wine and two glasses on the coffee table and a smirking blonde wearing nothing but her glasses, a Redskins Jersey and a pair of black high heels draped across the armchair.

"Hi..." Muttered Casey her eyes travelling from the black stiletto heels all the way up long legs, to the maroon shirt until she met the smug gaze of the blonde, who stood up and walked towards her.

"Hi, I missed you." Purred Alex as she claimed Casey's lips in a slow kiss.

"I missed you too, but we have a bigger problem." Replied Casey.

"We do?" Asked Alex innocently, tapping a finger against her chin.

"We do." Replied Casey, pressing another kiss to Alex's lips.

"And what's that?" Asked Alex.

"I hate the Redskins and you appear to be wearing their colors."

"Hmmm, well that's easily remedied." Grinned Alex, pulling the shirt over her head before dropping it to the floor.

"Oh God!" Muttered Casey, as Alex took her hand and led her towards their bedroom, where they spent the rest of the night making up for lost time.

Waking up at what she deemed a far too early hour on a weekend, especially as they hadn't fallen asleep until the small hours of the morning, Casey reached out for Alex frowning when the other side of the bed was empty, sitting up she saw Alex coming in from the bathroom in her running gear, "What are you doing?"

"I am going for a run." Smiled Alex, as she untangled her headphones.

"No! Come back to bed I've missed you." Pouted Casey.

"I'm up now, why don't you come with me?" Suggested Alex.

"Alex, I love you but if you ever see me running on a Saturday morning, call the police, because it means I'm being chased." Replied Casey, snuggling back under the covers.

Rolling her eyes, Alex pressed a kiss to Casey's cheek, "I love you."

"I love you too. Hey, don't forget we have plans this afternoon." Called Casey.

"I won't." Smiled Alex sending a wave over her shoulder as she left the bedroom.

Realizing that as she was awake she might as well get up, Casey made some coffee and toast before calling Abbie, "Hey, just wanted to check in, see how you're holding up."

"Hey, I'm...actually I don't know how I am." Replied Abbie, her voice rough with the effects of the large amount of bourbon she had drunk the night before, "How are things with you and Alex? You told her you're taking her to get inked later?"

"No, thought I'd leave it as a surprise. You know I don't think I've thanked you for setting us up."

"I'm just glad you're happy, that you're both happy." Replied Abbie, "Look Case, I have to go, I have a meeting with a realtor to find a place in DC."

"You're going then?" Asked Casey.

"I think I have to." Replied Abbie.

"Abbie..."

"I have to get going, I'll catch you at my leaving thing."

"Sure." Replied Casey, shaking her head as she heard the dial tone, sighing she poured another coffee and went to take a shower, grinning as the door opened and Alex slipped in behind her.

* * *

Later that afternoon they were getting ready for their date, as Alex watched Casey check something on her phone and smirk, "So where did you sat we were going?"

"I didn't." Replied Casey, making sure she had everything.

"So where are we going?" Asked Alex, her curiosity getting the better of her.

"It's a surprise." Smiled Casey as she tied her scarf.

"I don't trust that smile." Muttered Alex.

"Hey! You got me to jump out of a plane, watch horror films and let's not forget the knitting class you dragged me along to. So now, it's my turn." Replied Casey with a smirk.

"What if I promised to wear the white shirt you love so much?" Asked Alex, taking hold of Casey's scarf, pulling her close.

"Nope." Muttered Casey.

"What if I wear just the shirt and those black heels?" Asked Alex, pressing a small kiss to Casey's throat.

Closing her eyes at the feeling of Alex's lips on her throat Casey whispered, "Nope."

"Fine." Pouted Alex stepping back, "Flannel pajamas it is then."

Pecking Alex on the lips Casey replied, "You look just as beautiful in them as in that black dress you wore to the opera. Now, trust me, it's one of the things on your list."

Alex couldn't hold back her smile at the love and sincerity in Casey's smile. "You know, you've helped me with my bucket list but what about yours?"

"Mine's not all that impressive, I want to learn another language, maybe Italian, I want to sail a pirate ship. I want to fall in love and get married and have three children, I want to see the Forest of Death in Japan and spend a weekend in Vegas. But mostly, I want to see the Vikings win a Superbowl."

"Well we all have dreams.' Muttered Alex.

"Hahah, shall we?" Asked Casey picking up her car keys.

As Casey drove conversation turned to Casey's parents who would be visiting New York the following weekend, "You think they will like me?"

"They will love you, unless you wear that Redskins Jersey." Replied Casey, giving Alex's hand a reassuring squeeze.

"So I have to wear purple?" Asked Alex.

"Absolutely." Smiled Casey as she announced, "We're here."

Looking out of the window Alex saw they were outside a tattoo studio, "We're getting tattoo's?"

"No, you're getting a tattoo. If you want one." Grinned Casey.

"Do I get to pick?" Asked Alex, feeling a little apprehensive.

"Of course. Al, we can do something else if you want?"

"No, I'm up for it as long as you get one too."

"Deal." Smiled Casey as they headed inside.

Heading to the counter they were greeted by a tall brunette, "Casey, let me guess, you've come back to get a sleeve."

"Not this time." Smiled Casey, "Kate this is my girlfriend Alex, Alex this is Kate best artist in New York and fellow owl."

"Hi Alex, nice to meet you." Smiled Kate shaking Alex's hand, "So which one of you fine ladies is getting inked?"

"Both of us." Smiled Alex.

"Great, any idea what you want?" Asked Kate.

"I was thinking something on my back." Replied Alex.

"Is this your first?"

"Yeah." Admitted Alex.

"Okay, let's have a look through the book and see if anything jump's out at you. Case, why don't you go get us some coffee's so we can gossip about you in peace."

"I know when I'm not wanted." Muttered Casey, before pressing a small kiss to Alex's cheek and heading across the street to Starbucks.

"You know she's crazy about you." Smiled Kate as they began looking through the books.

"She's amazing and I thank God for her every day, I'm very lucky." Replied Alex, "What about something like that?" Asked Alex pointing to a line of Elvish text.

"I like it, it'll take a couple of hours and the spine is one of the most painful spots you up for that?"

"I'll give it a go."

"Then walk this way. Sam, when Casey comes back bring the coffee through, but tell Casey she has to wait out here." Pointing to the seat Kate said, slip off your shirt and get comfy, I'll just organize the stencil."

Once she was alone Alex looked around the small room, taking several breaths to calm her racing heartbeat. "How you doing?" Asked Kate as she came back in.

"A little nervous..."

"If it makes you feel any better when Abbie and Casey got theirs the tough Texan threw up on her shoes and Casey spent the whole time muttering death threats."

"You were the girl Abbie was chasing?"

"Yeah, one of them, at least. Bless her." Smiled Kate as she applied the stencil, "Take a look."

Looking down at the stencil Alex was pleased with her choice, "I love it." Grinned Alex.

"Right then, shall we?" Asked Kate, pulling on a pair of gloves, smiling at Sam as she brought the drinks Casey had brought them."Ready?"

"Lets do this." Muttered Alex.

"Okay, deep even breaths and let me know if you want a break." Replied Kate, turning on her gun, they worked in silence for a few minutes as Kate outlined the first few letters, "How you doing?"

"It's not as bad as I thought." Replied Alex.

"Good, the outline is always the worst bit." Replied Kate, "So tell me about how you met Casey."

Alex wasn't sure why but she ended up telling Kate the whole story of her relationship with Casey including, their disastrous date, her 'death' and the reason behind the tattoo. "So, since then every date Casey has planned has been crossing something off my list."

"Wow! That's...wow."

"I'm not crazy." Replied Alex.

"No, I believe you it's just amazing that's all." Replied Kate, shutting off her gun and wiping a wet paper towel over Alex's finished tattoo. "You are all done, you want to take a look?"

"Absolutely." Smiled Alex, taking the mirror Kate handed her Alex studied the tattoo, "Its perfect, thank you."

"You're welcome, shall we show Casey?" Seeing Alex nod Kate poked her head out and called Casey in, "I'll give you two a moment, whilst I freshen up and then we can get going on Casey's."

"You like it?" Asked Alex.

"What does it say?" Asked Casey.

"Where there's life there's hope.'" Replied Alex, "You are my life and my hope." Whispered Alex, claiming Casey's lips in a soft kiss, moaning as Casey deepened the kiss.

"I'm not interrupting anything am I?" Asked Kate with a smirk as the two women jumped apart.

"Five more minutes and you might have been." Grinned Casey.

Rolling her eyes Kate set about covering Alex's tattoo, "So what are you getting?"

"I think I should pick as this was all Casey's idea."

"Fine by me." Replied Kate.

"Fine, but don't let Kate talk you into a sleeve." Replied Casey, regretting her agreement as she saw the two of them laugh and whisper.

Ten minutes later Kate showed Alex a piece of paper with the stencil on, seeing the blonde nod she addressed Casey, "Okay Novak, pants off."

Looking between the two, Casey slipped out of her jeans and climbed in the chair, laughing as she saw the pirate ship stencil being applied to her thigh, "The Jolly Novak, really?"

"Yep, now shush." Replied Claire, "Now Alex you were telling me about Casey's Spiderman onesie."

Groaning Casey closed her eyes and listed to her old friend and girlfriend swap stories of her awkwardness.

* * *

Monday afternoon the ADA's were gathered in the conference room, sipping warm sparkling grape juice as they waited for the guest of honor. Alex and Serena were sitting in the corner gossiping about Connie and Mike getting caught doing the nasty in Jack's office and their respective weekends.

"YOU GOT A TATTOO!" Exclaimed Serena in a loud voice.

"Shhhh." Hissed Alex as several people looked in their direction.

"Sorry, you got a tattoo?" Asked Serena in a quieter voice.

"Yeah, so did Casey." Replied Alex.

"What did you get?" Asked Serena, before Alex could answer Liz arrived dragging Abbie along with her.

Getting everyone's attention Liz said, "You know, despite how much of a pain in the ass you are, we're really going to miss you around here. That aside, I'm sure I speak for us all when I say, we wish you well and hope the Feds know what they have let themselves in for. To Abbie."

"To Abbie." Chorused those gathered. Offering a fake smile Abbie left as quickly as she could, heading back to what was once her office, in no mood to be sociable.

Knocking lightly on the door Casey saw Abbie staring out of the window, "Hi, sorry I missed your send off, I got caught up in court, the defendant decided to try and strangle me."

"Am I selfish?" Asked Abbie not turning from the window.

"Abbie..."

"Case, one of the things I love most about you is that you call me on my BS, don't stop now."

"I think, I think Kim needs to get help, but first she needs to except that she needs help and until she does there's nothing you can do for her."

"Then why do I feel like crap? Why do I feel like I'm abandoning her?"

"Because you're a good person and despite all of this you love Kim." Replied Casey.

"I should go, I have to catch my flight." Replied Abbie, giving Casey a half smile.

"Abbie..."

"I'll call you. I promise." Offered the brunette, as she left.

Heading back to her own office, Casey was pleased to find Alex at her desk, "Hi."

"Hey, how was court?" Asked Alex.

"It was fine other than the defendant trying to strangle me." Replied Casey.

"She did what!" Asked Alex, jumping up and examining Casey's neck.

"Al..I'm fine. I promise." Whispered Casey, pulling Alex in to her arms. "I love you."

"I love you too." Muttered Alex, tightening her hold on Casey.

* * *

Kim watched from the coffee shop opposite the District Attorney's office, her heart clenching as Abbie climbed into the cab, her suitcase and carryon luggage being placed in the back. Paying her bill she didn't recall the journey back to her apartment. Waking in she let her eyes roam around the lounge, Abbie's missing belongings reminding her of what she had lost, the destroyed pictures, thrown in a fit of rage, and the used syringe on the coffee table. Sliding down the wall she pulled out her phone, dialing an unfamiliar number, "Addison? It's Kim from NA...I think...I think I need some help."

**You may wanna Google what elvish is, for those who don't exactly know. Anyhow, leave your reviews. **


	23. Chapter 23

Friday afternoon Alex found herself looking for reasons to stay late in the office, Casey had left at lunch time to pick her parents and sister up from the airport and they would now be in their apartment where her mother was making them all dinner. Just as she started tidying her desk draw for the second time she heard a throaty laugh and turned to find Casey watching her from the doorway.

Smiling at her girlfriend she held her hands up in surrender, "Hi, I was just leaving..."

"Liar." Smiled Casey, walking in and sitting on the edge of Alex's desk.

"Busted." Smiled Alex.

"I thought you might be hiding from my parents, not that I blame you."

"Two for two." Admitted Alex.

"They are going to love you, because your beautiful, smart, funny, geeky and you make me happier than I have ever been." Replied Casey, punctuating each word with a kiss. "Now, let's head home and get this over with."

"Okay." Smiled Alex. As they walked to Casey's car, Alex couldn't remember ever being so nervous about meeting a girlfriends parents, as Casey drove her mind was filled with what if's, what if they didn't like her? What if they made Casey realize she could do better than her? Her inner panic attack was halted by Casey's voice.

"Alexandra breathe and stop over thinking things." Instructed Casey, as she turned off the engine.

"We're home already?" Asked Alex.

"Yeah, come on you'll be fine." Smiled Casey, opening Alex's door she helped her out of the car and pulled her close, "Alex, I love you, you love me the rest of the world doesn't get a say in that." Sharing a loving kiss Casey linked their hands as they headed to their apartment.

Stopping outside their door, Casey gave Alex a reassuring wink as she opened the door, allowing Alex in first she closed the door and retook her hand as she led her to the lounge, "Alex, this is my mum Lindsey, my dad Mitch and the sulky looking Gremlin in the corner is my sister Stacey. Family this in Alexandra Cabot my girlfriend."

"Its nice to meet you." Smiled Alex, shaking hands with Mitch who had the same colour eyes as Casey, they even had the same mischievous sparkle.

"We've heard a lot about you, our daughter seems very taken and I can see why." Smiled Mitch.

"The feeling is mutual, you have a wonderful daughter." Replied Alex, after half an hour of small talk Alex excused herself to take a shower and change out of her work outfit. Heading back into the lounge Alex could see Casey and her dad watching the game, Stacey was playing on her iPad and Lindsey was in the kitchen, heading that way she said, "Mrs. Novak..."

"Lindsey, please. Mrs. Novak was my mother in law and she was...delightful." Interrupted Lindsey with a wink.

"Lindsey it is. Something smells wonderful, is there anything I can do to help?" Asked Alex, feeling at easy despite her earlier nerves.

"Thank you but I think I have everything under control, why don't you corral the troops whilst I dish up." Smiled Lindsey.

"That I can do." Smiled Alex, heading into the lounge, "Dinner's almost ready."

"Brilliant! I Really miss mum's cooking." Grinned Casey, giving her sister a light kick she added, "Come on Gizmo, put the phone down and interact like a civilized human."

"Whatever Cassandra." Muttered Stacey, leaving her phone on the sofa as she headed to the table trading insults with her big sister.

Once they were settled at the table, Alex addressed Stacey, who had yet to acknowledge her existence with anything but a wave of the hand. "Casey, tells me you play lacrosse."

"Yep." Replied Stacey, not looking up from where she was pushing her chicken around the plate.

"I'm not familiar with it." Continued Alex, in a continued attempt at bonding with the youngest Novak.

"I would explain, but I didn't bring my puppets and crayons." Replied Stacey with a very 'Casey' smirk on her face.

"Stacey Novak, behave yourself and apologize now." Scolded Lindsey.

"It's fine." Muttered Alex with a smile.

"Don't mind Gizmo, she's not used to human interaction." Added Casey, giving Alex's hand a reassuring squeeze.

"So, why Gizmo?" Asked Alex.

"Because my big sister is a retard." Muttered Stacey.

"Enough!" Said Mitch, knowing that despite their ages his two daughters would argue for hours, "The first time Casey babysat, her mother and I left a list of instructions and as both my daughters are wise asses, she made a remark about the Gremlins and it stuck."

"Do you have any brothers or sisters?" Asked Lindsey.

"A brother named Ken maybe." Smirked Stacey.

"No, I'm an only child." Replied Alex, ignoring the Ken jibe.

"Lucky you." Smiled Casey.

"That must have been really hard for your mum and dad after your accident."

"It was, but in a strange way it woke me up to what was important in life, before that accident I had a one track mind. I was so focused on work that I neglected spending time with my parents, my friends and I almost missed out on my chance to get to know Casey. So, in some ways the accident was a blessing in disguise."

"That's a good attitude to take." Replied Mitch.

"So who wants dessert? I made apple pie." Asked Lindsey.

The rest of the evening passed in pleasant conversation and several more 'Barbie' jibes from Stacey, as Alex cuddled into Casey's side she felt a sense of peace as she drifted off to sleep.  
Alex was woken by her cell phone ringing, "Cabot."

"Hey Al, sorry to disturb you but we need you at the station, Smith wants a deal." Explained Liv.

"Give me half an hour." Muttered Alex, hanging up she pressed a kiss to Casey's cheek and climbed out of bed. Taking a quick shower she pulled on a pair of jeans and a jumper and crept back into the bedroom.

"Want me to drive you?" Offered Casey, with a sleepy smile.

"No, go back to sleep. It's just to sign off on a deal, I shouldn't be long." Replied Alex pressing a kiss to Casey's cheek.

"Okay, be safe I love you."

"Love you too." Whispered Alex. Heading into the lounge to pick up her briefcase, tripping over Casey's shoes knocking a lamp over in the process. "Damn it Casey."

"You making an escape Barbie?" Asked a sleepy Stacey.

"Oh, I'm sorry were you Sleeping?" Asked Alex, wondering why the snarky teen was on the couch in the dark, rathe than asleep on the pull out sofa in the home office.

"No. I was practicing for when I'm dead." Snorted Stacey, standing and heading to the kitchen.

"Okay then, have fun with that you little..." Muttered Alex under her breath as she headed out the door.

Arriving at the station Alex headed for Olivia's desk and armed with all the information she made a deal and left the interview room just as Serena arrived to pick Olivia up for their trip to the Hampton's to visit Serena's parents. Taking the coffee her best friend handed her she gave the shorter blonde a grateful smile, "You're a lifesaver."

"I know." Smiled Serena, "So how's the invasion of the Novak's going? You running for the hills yet?"

"No, her parents are really lovely. Her sister on the other hand is like Satan's apprentice." Replied Alex with a grimace.

"Don't tell me the Ice Princess has met her match in a teenager." Snorted Liv.

"Seriously, she oozes attitude, makes me reconsider wanting children, especially with Casey if that's how Novak teenagers act."

"So you're being bigger person and letting your good breeding show?" Asked Liv with a smirk.

"If by being the better person, you mean saying nothing but fantasising about punching the other person in the face. Then yes, I'm being the bigger person." Muttered Alex. "Seriously, I need some words of wisdom to stop me slapping her."

"Just remember there's no Netflix in Rikers." Replied Liv with a smirk.

Rolling her eyes at her girlfriend Serena added, "She can't be that bad..."

"She hums the Barbie song at me. God, I wish Kim was here, she'd know how to deal with the little brat." Muttered Alex.

"Abbie would be giving her more blonde jokes to use against you." Replied Serena with a smile.

"I miss them." Admitted Alex.

"Me too. Have you heard from Kim?" Asked Serena.

"No. I was hoping Abbie leaving might push her to get the help she needs."

"We should call her, make sure she knows she's not alone." Suggested Serena.

"I agree, maybe we can go round after work Monday?"

"I'll come with you." Offered Liv, "Now, we should get going before we get called as whiteness against Alex in a murder case."

"Why are we even friends?" Muttered Alex as they three of them headed out into the early morning drizzle.

* * *

Arriving home Alex could smell the pancakes and coffee coming from the kitchen, "I don't think our kitchen has ever been used so much." Smiled Alex as a greeting.

"I guess the microwave having more than one setting is somewhat confusing." Muttered Stacey.

"No, when I graduated top of my class at Harvard they explained theses things to us." Replied Alex with an icy glare at the younger Novak. "I'm just going to freshen up." Heading into the bedroom Alex slumped down on the bed, groaning when she heard a light knock on the door, "Come in."

"Mom asked me to bring you this." Said Stacey handing Alex a mug of coffee.

"Thanks."

"I'm sorry. For the blonde comments and being a smartass. I love my sister, she's my hero, not that I'd ever tell her that. Anyway, her ex really hurt her and I guess I just wanted to make sure you're good enough for her."

"I love your sister and I would rather climb in a box full of spiders than hurt her and I'm sure my friend Abbie has used most of those blonde jokes before." Smiled Alex.

"So we're good?" Asked Stacey.

"We're good, if you tell me an embarrassing story about Casey."

"Okay, this one time Casey was home for the weekend and we were home alone and I could hear all this banging in her room, so I go to investigate and find her on the floor her foot wedged in one of mum's home made vases. I asked her what happened and she told me she tripped because, 'she was trying to get away from a wasp that was stalking her.'"

"Oh my god." Laughed Alex.

"Yeah, that's my big sister a real hero." Smiled Stacy.

* * *

The rest of the weekend flew by, they visited the Empire State building, the Statue of Liberty, had lunch with Alex's parents and the enjoyed more of Lindsey's cooking, waving them off at the airport with a promise to visit soon, Alex was more sure than ever that Casey was the person she wanted to spend her life with.

"Carmichael." Answered Abbie groggily.

"Abbie, its me...Kim. I'm sorry its late, I spent the evening trying to summon the courage to call you."

"Kim?" Asked Abbie sitting up in bed, since she had left New York three months ago she hadn;t heard from Kim.

"Yeah, hi. How's life in DC?" Asked Kim.

"Kim, it's after one in the morning, I'm sure you didn't call to catch up."

"No, I-I'm clean and I get my three month chip at the meeting next week and I know its a lot to ask and you certainly don't have to, but I was hoping you would come and hear my testimony. I'm asking Alex, Casey, Liv and Serena as well, but...I..."

"I'll be there." Promised Abbie, cutting of Kim's rambling.

"Thank you, I-it really means a lot to me. It's really good to hear your voice, I've missed you."

"I've missed you too." Replied Abbie, "Email me the details and I'll see you next week."

"Okay. Abbie I...Goodnight."

"Night Kim."Replied Abbie.

* * *

The following Friday Kim found herself at the front of the church hall, her hands shaking as she stepped up to the podium, seeing Addison send her a reassuring smile she took a deep breath and started to speak, "Hello, my name is Kim and I'm a drug addict."

"Hi Kim." Parroted the crowd.

Taking a deep breath Kim made eye contact with Abbie for the first time in three months. "As of yesterday I have been clean for three months, three long months. It took me a long time to admit that I had an addiction, you see I didn't voluntarily start taking drugs, I was kidnapped and forced to take them. So afterwards rather than admit I had a problem I used my recovery from my kidnapping as justification as an excuse for continuing to use them. It wasn't until I pushed away the one person who had shown me nothing but love and kindness that I realised I needed help and I was lucky because my friends old and new were there for me, they sat up with me as I went threw with drawls, they sat with me as I cried and they sit here today to support me knowing how much this frightens me. Not so much the talking in public thing, I'm...I was a lawyer so talking in public was a required skill. What scares me is being open and admitting I'm not perfect, admitting I've made mistakes and admitting that I can't do this on my own, that I need some help. I know I still have a long way to go in my recovery and that there is a chance I will slip, but now I know I can beat it one day at a time. Thank you." Finishing Kim accepted her token from Addison and went and sat with the other's getting their chips.

Once the meeting was over, Kim accepted the hugs and congratulations of her friends, leaving Addison and Callie to get aquatinted with her friends she asked Abbie if they could talk in private, heading outside they sat on a secluded bench after a few minutes of silence they both started speaking at the same time, sharing a nervous laugh Kim asked, "Do you mind if I go first?"

"Go ahead." Smiled Abbie.

"Abbie, I owe a lot of people apologies, the biggest is owed to you."

"Kim..."

"Please, let me say this." Asked Kim, seeing Abbie nod she went on. "I wasn't fair to you, I never once asked how you were handling everything that happened, I was so angry all the time and you took the brunt of it and I expected you to understand what I was dealing with even though I hadn't told you what happened. I'm sorry for that. You see it wasn't just the rape that made me shy away from your touch, there would be nights when all I wanted was for you to hold me, kiss me, touch me but I was afraid."

Taking a breath she went on, "I was afraid you would find me repulsive, because of the scars he left on me, I thought you would see them and feel betrayed... I was horrible and I don't blame you for leaving, like I said I pushed until you broke. Can you ever forgive me?"

"Kim, none of you scares, physical, mental or psychological will ever make me love you less, so yes I can forgive you and if you'll let me I would like to try and rebuild what we had."

"I want that, more than anything in the world." Admitted Kim, placing a hand on Abbie's cheek, she pressed their lips together in a soft kiss. "I love you."

"I love you too." Whispered Abbie.

**Leave your thoughts? **


	24. Chapter 24

**A/N: Sorry for the wait guys. Hope you all enjoy this chapter. **

"You have no idea how happy we are that you agreed to come spend the evening with us." Serena says with a warm smile as she reaches over gives her best friends hand a comforting squeeze. "And we're really glad you're back."

"Thanks. It's glad to be back." Kim responds with a small smile before it slightly fades and she ducks her head. "Listen, about everything that happened over the past several months I…I can't even begin to think of what I can do to apologize for the way I was acting."

"Kim you weren't well, that's understandable." Alex attempts to reason but closes her mouth when Kim holds up her hand to stop her.

"That doesn't mean it was an excuse. One of the vows I made when I came to my thirty days without using was that I'm not going to make any more excuses. The way I was acting was selfish, inconsiderate, and downright awful. I was too busy blaming other people for what had happened to me." Pausing, the brunette begins wringing her hands out of nerves as if mentally contemplating over what she's going to say next.

Sensing this, Alex shares a look across the room at Serena who is curled up in the arm chair before looking back to the woman on her left. "Kim, you don't have to tell us anything that you don't want to tell us." She says gently. "We understand."

Shaking her head, Kim takes a much needed deep breath as she drags a hand through her hair. "No, I need to tell you. My therapist tells me that I need to work on not keeping things bottled up inside of me like this. It's not healthy." She explains, taking another deep breath before she begins. "You already know that when Cant kidnapped me he tortured me. He beat me, taunted me…raped me. What I never told anyone other than Abbie, and my doctor, was that I…I got pregnant…from the rape."

The revelation draws a small collective gasp from the other two women in the room, honestly a reaction that Kim was expecting, but she was expecting it for to be in a far larger quantity. However, she's thankful it isn't; it shows that her friends are there to support her, not judge her like she so feared.

"Kim…" Serena whispers quietly, not knowing what else to say while Alex simply sits stunned into silence.

"I know you're wondering why I couldn't tell you, but the truth is, I couldn't tell anybody. I didn't even tell Abbie and I hated myself for keeping it from her, but I just couldn't tell her." Kim explains, tears already slowly making their way down her cheeks.

Swallowing her shock, Alex opens and closes her mouth a few times before coming up with something to say. "What…what happened?"

"I couldn't keep it." Kim responds, shaking her head once more. "It made sense in my head that I couldn't keep it. I mean, what if it looked like him? And what if it was a boy? What if it hated me when it found out where it came from? There were just too many 'what ifs' and I just got scared. I made an appointment at the clinic and Abbie showed up there because of a voicemail they left on our answering machine. She was there with me and she held my hand the entire time."

"Oh honey." Alex murmurs quietly, pulling the younger woman into her arms as her shoulders begin to tremble.

"I didn't want to take an innocent life away. I really didn't. I-I just couldn't…I couldn't keep it." Kim sobs, curling further into the blonde for comfort.

Serena quietly rises from the chair and makes her way across the room to the sofa where she takes a seat and gently wraps her arms around her best friends. "You don't owe us an explanation. We understand that things weren't easy for you." she states, pulling a tissue from her purse and passing it to Kim. Seeing Kim about to talk, she holds up a finger and shakes her head. "And you don't have anything to make up for because you've done nothing wrong."

"Just know that you can come to us with anything at any time." Alex adds in, gently combing her fingers through Kim's hair. "Understand?"

Nodding in response, Kim dabs the tissue against her eyes before chuckling quietly. "Look at us, I bet we look like a bunch of teenage girls." she states dryly.

"Ah, there's that dry humor we've missed so much." Serena points out with a smile. "So have you made your decision? Am I about to cry again?"

"Probably." Kim chuckles before her smile slightly fades as she looks between the two blondes. "I've decided that I'm going to move to DC with Abbie instead of letting her come back here."

"Kim…" this time it's Alex who speaks up, though it comes out as more of a half whine, but as a Cabot, she would never openly admit that she allowed herself to whine or do anything of the like.

Holding up her hands, Kim silences the groaning women so she can continue. "It's the only thing that makes sense and it's fair to do. It's always been Abbie's dream to be a federal prosecutor and there is absolutely no way that I am going to take that away from her. Besides…there are far too many memories here in New York. I just need to start over."

"But we'll miss you!"

"Yeah, and DC is extremely far."

"Rena, it's about 45 minutes to an hour on a train." Kim explains humorously. "But I will miss you two. I'll especially miss the chance to tease Alex about her heated office romance."

The teasing in Kim's tone causes Alex to blush furiously as the red glow starts at her ears and then gradually descends down to her neck. "It's not even like that."

"The hell it isn't!" Serena exclaims which only seems to cause Alex to blush further. "That's EXACTLY what it is. Remember that time last Tuesday? When you thought everyone was gone? Newsflash, Ally Bear, I was working late that day and so was Liz."

Alex goes from as red as a tomato to as white as a ghost all within the span of a second. "Oh my god, did she hear anything?!" she hisses, having no idea of why she's whispering; perhaps it's just the shock.

"No, she heard nothing because I directed her attention elsewhere." Serena giggles, putting her hand over her mouth to keep from erupting into full blown laughter. "You owe me so big."

"I told Casey that we shouldn't have…." Alex murmurs quietly before she groans and begins rubbing her temples.

"You always did say it was a fantasy of yours to be taken on your desk." Kim chuckles, earning her a light swat to the shoulder. "But on a completely serious note, you and Casey are probably by far the cutest couple I have ever seen. You're perfect for each other."

"I think they're my new OTP." Serena states in a dreamy tone of voice, earning her a shared look of confusion from her best friends. "Never mind…"

"Casey is a godsend." Alex replies seriously as she tops off their glasses of wine. "She's helped me cross basically everything off of my bucket list and she's just been there for me through everything that has gone on. I'm so in love with her that I can't even put it into words…"

* * *

"She completes me." Casey finishes off, blushing slightly when she looks up and spies the other two women staring at her with matching grins.

"You've got it bad my friend." Olivia states, taking a sip from her beer bottle before grabbing a hand full of peanuts from the basket in the center of the table.

"Oh and the two of you don't?" Casey shoots back in a sad attempt to save what's left of her pride.

"Yeah, but you've got that glossy love sick look in your eyes." Abbie points out with her typical smirk. "The one where you just look like your hearts beating faster and your tongues gone dry and the only thing you're thinking about is her."

Rolling her eyes, Casey finishes off her beer before she turns her attention to messing around with the label on the bottle. "That's seriously all I can ever think about. Even when I'm in court and the defense is going through their monologue I find myself sitting there wonder what Alex is doing, or what she's thinking about or…"

"What she's wearing." Abbie interrupts with a teasing smirk.

"What she would do if she were there with me." Casey finishes off, sending her best friend a pointed glare in the process. "She's seriously perfect. I love her."

"Oh yeah, you've definitely got it bad." Olivia states again. "But I can't exactly talk much. Whenever I have to stay late at the station to finish filling out paperwork I find myself wondering if Serena's waiting up for me even after I've already told her to go to bed about five times. Then I sit there and imagine her lying on the couch with her Tinkerbell throw blanket and a cup of tea on the coffee table."

"Kim never really waited up for me as she just showed up at my office in her PJs and told me to bring my ass home." Abbie states with a low chuckle before she sighs quietly. "I just feel bad about her coming to DC with me. I know it isn't what she wants."

"If she didn't want it then she wouldn't have suggested it." Liv says rationally. "You know Kim's not one to be shy about how she feels about something. If she didn't want to move then she wouldn't have even brought it up."

"The thing I've learned about relationships is that although you're trying to keep your significant other happy, you've gotta make sure to keep yourself happy too." Casey adds in. "You know that working in DC is your dream job and from the conversations we've had, I just know that you're having an amazing time working down there. Why subject yourself to having to choose? Why not take your dream job and your dream girl and live happily ever after?"

"My god she sounds like Serena." Liv groans, letting her head fall to the table with a quiet thump, earning a hearty laugh from the other two attorneys. "But she's right though, Abbs, you've gotta think about you and what's gonna make you happy. There's no point in keeping Kim happy if you're just going to be miserable. If anything, that'll make the relationship worse."

"You're right. I just…I'll miss you guys." Abbie states, scowling slightly when her voice cracks with emotion.

"Oh no, Carmichael, we're not gonna start this." Casey says firmly. "You are not gonna cry. Dry those tears."

"I'm starting to see why the two of you have been friends for so long." The detective states with a chuckle of her own before she changes the subject. "So Case, you were telling us about your plan?"

"Yeah, I kind of have this plan to fly Alex to Paris." Casey states as she drags a hand through her hair. "I asked around and I found a really good deal so I've already booked the flight. It's one of the things on her bucket list to visit there and when I saw the deal I just couldn't turn it down. I'm really excited about surprising her with it. Especially since her birthday is coming up."

"Ooo, you hopeless romantic you." Abbie swoons in an exaggerated falsetto voice. "How come you never pampered me like that?"

"Because you're an idiot." Casey responds flatly. "And I have an owl on my ass to prove it."

"That's it." Olivia begins, placing her beer bottle on the table at seeing the ghostly look on Abbie's face along with the smug one on Casey's. "You HAVE to tell me this story."

* * *

Later that night, Abbie shuffles in her pocket for her key before placing it in the door, letting out a quiet content sigh when the lock gives way. Pushing the door open, she is met with the familiarity of what was once her shared apartment with Kim and she is pleased to be greeted with the familiar smell of the brunette's perfume lingering in the air.

Stepping in further, she is a little surprised to find said brunette curled up on the couch, giggling at what looks to be an episode of 'I Love Lucy'. The sight brings a warm feeling to Abbie's stomach as a small smile tugs at the corner of her lips before she speaks. "Hey you."

"Hey." Kim responds, putting the television on mute as she adjusts her blanket around her shoulders. "I didn't expect you to come…"

"Of course I came. You offered." Abbie replies, shrugging off her coat before joining Kim on the couch. "And you know I would never say no to you."

Kim smiles before she leans over and claims Abbie's lips in a deep and passionate kiss. A deep and passionate kiss that escalates quickly as all of their pent up emotions and need for one another begins pouring out. That is until Abbie's hand snakes towards the hem of Kim's shirt.

"Abbie…" Kim whispers quietly, a red tint coloring her cheeks. "My scars…."

"Don't make you any less beautiful than you already are." Abbie finishes off as she gently cups the other woman's cheeks in her hand. "Your scars reflect on your strength and the battles you've overcome, not your appearance. You'll forever be the most beautiful woman in the world to me. Now please, let me make love to you."

Biting down on her lower lip, Kim slowly nods her head as she takes Abbie's extended hand and allows for herself to be led to the bedroom.

* * *

"Rena, honey, it's time to wake up." Olivia whispers quietly, stroking the back of her hand across the slumbering blonde's cheek. She wasn't the least bit of surprised to find Serena fast asleep on the couch with her favorite blanket. A smile spreads across her lips when she is met with her most favorite pair of blue eyes. "Hey Sleeping Beauty. Welcome back."

"Mmm, when did you get home?" Serena murmurs, stretching as she squints in the general direction of the clock to find the time.

"Just a few minutes ago, I just walked in." Olivia explains, placing a gentle kiss to her lover's forehead, "Why are you lying here on the couch? You know that you could've waited in the bedroom for me? I'm sure the bed is much more comfortable."

"I didn't want to go without you." Serena responds with a slightly sheepish smile. "Did you have fun with Casey and Abbie?"

"Oh yeah, I learned some things that I've filed away as blackmail material." Olivia answers with a proud smirk. "How were Kim and Alex."

"Amazing as always. I'm glad that things are finally going to be back to normal." Serena states contently before she is overtaken by a yawn.

Chuckling at Serena's slightly childish tendency to fight sleep, Liv shakes her head before scooping the blonde into her arms. "C'mon, let's get you to bed."

"Liv, I am more than capable of walking."

"I know. But carrying you is much more fun."

* * *

"You are such a bookworm." Casey points out, coming out of the bathroom to find Alex tucked beneath the duvet and a novel in her hands with her glasses sitting at the bridge of her nose. "You know, you look extremely hot like that. you sort of have this librarian look going for you."

A smirk tugs at the corner of Alex's lips as she marks her page and closes her book before placing the novel on her bedside table. She tilts her head and quirks an eyebrow in Casey's direction with her smirk still firmly in place. "Only Casey Novak would think that calling me a librarian would be a compliment."

"You know I was only teasing you." Casey hums as she slips underneath the blankets. She reaches out and pulls Alex closer to her, wrapping her arms around the blonde's body so that they are sharing body heat against the cold temperatures of the bedroom. "This is nice, you know? Falling asleep next to you every night and waking up next to you every morning; and to top it all off, I think I am finally starting to get used to you stealing the blankets."

"I steal the blankets because I want you to join me on my side." Alex teases back, leaning forward to where she connects their lips in a deep kiss. "You know, in a way I'm really glad that I got hit by that car. Because if I hadn't been a…well a 'ghost' then I wouldn't have gotten to spend all that time with you. Can you imagine? All of this happened because someone tried to kill me."

"So in a sick twisted way Edward Cant did us a favor." Casey slightly chuckles as she presses her lips to Alex's neck. "You know, when I first walked into that restaurant and saw you sitting there I couldn't believe that Abbie had set me up with someone who was so…breath taking. Even if you were going to be my supervisory I had every intention of making that night special. I was so scared when I had heard about your accident and then when they pronounced you dead I cried for you. Not just because you were cruelly taken away from all of your friends and family but I also knew that I had missed out on the opportunity to get to know you."

"But we were given a second chance…" Alex murmurs, gently tracing Casey's lips with her fingers. "We were given the chance, the opportunity to make this work for us and to build something for it. We were given a second chance at falling in love."

"And would you say that it's working out for us Miss Cabot?"

"Yes Miss Novak. Yes I would."

**Leave your thoughts? **


	25. Chapter 25

**A/N: This is it guys! The last chapter! Hope you all enjoy!**

As it was Alex's birthday and they would be flying to Paris the following day, Alex's parents had insisted on having everyone over for dinner to celebrate, including Casey's parents and sister who were flying in that afternoon. Casey had asked Alex to pick them up from the airport saying she was needed at the station to oversee an interview, luckily for Casey, Olivia had been happy to back her up to give her time to go and see Alex's parents alone. Pulling into the drive way of the Cabot's house Casey wiped the palm of her hands on the legs pants for what felt like the millionth time that day, taking a deep breath she opened the car door and stepped out into the light drizzle that had started to fall. Jogging up the steps, she rang the bell giving herself a stern pep talk as she waited for her knock to be answered, 'Come on Novak, its for Alex. You can do this.'

"Talking yo yourself is the first sign of madness." Smiled Sophie Cabot.

"I think I'm well passed that." Smiled Casey.

"Come on in, you're the first to arrive, which according to my daughter is something that rarely happens." Replied Sophie with a smile.

Laughing Casey had to agree, her laid back approach to time keeping was something that drove Alex round the twist. "Actually that was planned, I was hoping to speak with you and Alexander in private."

"Ah, I see. Well come on through to the kitchen, Alexander is making sure we have enough wine." Replied Sophie, with a knowing smile at her daughter's girlfriend.

"If Abbie's coming he might want to hide the good Bourbon." Laughed Casey, following Sophie into the house.

"I'll bear that in mind, especially with my daughter and Serena here as well, I'd like to have a house left."

Saying a hello to Alexander the three were soon settled in the lounge, taking a sip of her tea Casey blurted out, "I was planning on asking Alex to marry me when we're in Paris, so I'm here to ask for your blessing."

"I see." Replied Alexander.

"I love your daughter with every fiber of my being, she is my sun and my moon, I promise I will do everything in my power to make her as happy as she has made me. To keep her safe, support her dreams and keep her out of trouble."

"Casey, you've had my blessing from the moment I saw the way you looked at Alex. All a mother wants is her child to be happy and when you look at Alex, it's as if she is the centre of your universe." Replied Sophie.

"Thank you." Mumbled Casey her attention on Alexander, who had yet to say anything.

"It's very quick."

"I know that Sir, but life is too short to waste time planning the life you want when you could be living it. I love Alex, I want to marry her, build a home with her, raise a family with her and grow old and grey with her."

"Then of course you have my blessing." Smiled Alexander.

"Thank you, thank you both so much." Smiled Casey.

Soon the house was bustling with people, food was eaten, embarrassing stories shared and many glasses of wine consumed. Spotting a terrified looking Stacy in conversation with Kim and Serena, Alex headed over, "Hey Gizmo, how's school?"

"Alex, happy birthday! What are you now sixty-five?" Asked Stacy with a grin.

"Watch it or I'll put you in the microwave." Smiled Alex, sending the younger Novak a mock glare.

"Score one for Cabot." Smirked Abbie joining the conversation.

"The parents have retired to the lounge for tea." Added Casey, pecking Alex on the cheek. "Hey Gizmo, has Kim scarred you for life yet?"

"Actually we were discussing my marketing class, she's been really helpful." Replied Stacy sending the slightly scary brunette a smile.

"What's your project?" Asked Alex.

"The continued popularity of Barbie and her merchandise." Replied Stacy.

"Did you know it's a myth that Barbie comes with Ken?" Asked Casey.

"I heard that, apparently, she fakes it with Ken and comes with Cindy." Finished Abbie with a smirk, making Casey and Liv laugh.

Alex shared a look with a look with Kim and Serena and then as one they cuffed their significant other on the back of the head, just as Sophie announced it was time for cake and presents. Sitting down Alex opened the bracelet from her parents, a new attaché case from Liv and Serena, a pair of boots from Kim and Abbie, a spa voucher from Mitch and Lindsey. Picking up the present bearing Stacy's name she asked, "Is this going to explode?"

"No." Replied Stacy with a light blush.

Opening the parcel Alex found a 'Dummies guide to Lacrosse' and a Minnesota Vikings Jersey, much to Liv and Abbie's horror. "Thank you." Whispered Alex giving the young Novak a hug.

"Casey said you were always stealing hers, turn it over." Turning it over Alex laughed when she saw the name, 'Stripe.' On the back, "Welcome to the family, you're official a gremlin now."

"Ah Giz, upstage me, why don't you?" Smiled Casey, ruffling her sister's hair as she handed Alex an envelope, "Happy Birthday, my darling."

Opening the envelop Alex gave a squeal of delight when she saw the tickets to Paris for the next day, "Thank you, this is...this is perfect. I love it. I love you, I love you all."

"Anything for you." Whispered Casey.

"Now, I believe someone said there was cake?" Asked Alex, swallowing down her emotions. As she looked around the room at her friends and family Alex was once against struck my the thought that Cants attempt on her life had in fact saved it.

* * *

Abbie was woken by the woman next to her thrashing in her sleep, sitting up she gently shook Kim's shoulder, "Hey, it was just a dream, your safe."

"Really?" Asked Kim still half in her nightmare.

"Really, you're safe I promise." Whispered Abbie rubbing small circles on Kim's back until she calmed down.

"I'm sorry." Mumbled Kim, with her head resting on Abbie's shoulder.

"You never have to be sorry. Think you can get back to sleep?" Feeling Kim shake her head 'no' she threw the covers back and said, "Get dressed."

"What, why?" Demanded Kim making no more to get out of bed.

"Humor me." Replied Abbie with a small smile as she shrugged into her jeans.

"Fine." Muttered Kim.

Twenty minutes and a stop at an all night Starbucks later, Abbie pulled up outside of a modest house, "This way."

"Abbie?" Hissed Kim as she followed her lover up the dark driveway, seeing Abbie insert the code into the realtors lock box she asked, "What are you doing?"

"Kim, I love you but you have to be patient for just a few minutes more." Replied Abbie, pressing a small kiss to the tip of Kim's nose she opened the door and ushered them inside. Leading the way into the lounge of the house she flicked on the light, "What do you think?"

Looking around the large room, Kim's eyes light on the large built in bookcase that made up the rear wall, the large window that looked over a garden with a window seat underneath it and had to admit it was beautiful. "Its lovely, but, I still don't understand why we're here."

Leaning them to the window seat Abbie took Kim's hands in her own, "I love you and nothing you can do will ever change that, so I'm asking you again, are you sure you want to move to DC?"

"I want to be with you." Replied Kim.

"You don't have to move to DC for that. Kim, your nightmare have been getting more sever and more frequent the closer we get to the moving date. I know you said you were okay with the move, but your support network is here and I know how hard you're working the program. Addison, your therapist, your meeting, Serena, Liv, Casey and Alex they are all here and that's important to you. So, I spoke to my boss and requested a transfer to the New York office, all I have to do is close out my cases and then I'm done in DC."

"Abbie...you can't give up your dream for me." Replied Kim.

"Kim, you are my dream. I love you and being with you is all that matters, New York, DC or the Moon none of those places are home without you." Replied Abbie.

"Are you sure?" Asked Kim, feeling guilty because her heart felt lighter at the thought of staying in New York.

"Positive." Smiled Abbie.

"You are amazing, I love you." Whispered Kim.

"I know." Smirked Abbie, "How about we check out the rest of the house?"

"I'd like that." Smiled Kim. As she followed Abbie around the house, Kim was struck by how much the house resembled her dream house, one she had described to Abbie when they first started dating. Arriving back in the lounge she said, "This place is beautiful, however did you find it?"

"My cousin Jess is the realtor, I dropped by the open house to say hi and fell in love with it and I'm glad you like it, because, I was thinking we could sell our apartment and put an offer in. A fresh start."

"Abbie, it's perfect." Smiled Kim.

"One more thing." Dropping to one knee Abbie pulled a familiar velvet box from her pocket, "I read a quote once that said, 'A true relationship is two imperfect people refusing to give up on each other.' You're my imperfect person and I promise I will never give up on you. I love you and nothing will change that, not the mistakes we have made or the fights we have had, even when we don't agree I love you and want forever with you. So, will you please make me the happiest person alive and marry me?"

"Yes." Whispered Kim.

Standing Abbie slipped the ring on Kim's finger and pulled her close for a deep kiss, "Shall we go home and celebrate?"

"I thought we were home." Grinned Kim, pulling Abbie close for another kiss.

* * *

Easing herself into her desk chair, Olivia gripped her ribs letting out a breath as she tried to get comfortable, she had been in court, when the suspect pulled a gun and tried to attack Judge Donnelly. Without hesitation she had jumped the barrier and rugby tackled him to the floor managing to get the gun away from him, but not before he threw a few punches knocking her into the prosecutors table ribs first. Taking the bottle of water Elliot hand her, she opened the painkillers the hospital gave her and took a swig of water, spraying it across her desk at the sound of her girlfriend's voice.

"You are a complete and utter ass Olivia Benson! How dare you not call me!" Asked Serena as she marched into the squad room, dropping her purse on Fin's desk with a thud.

"Serena..." Started Liv.

"I had to find out from a court usher that MY girlfriend tackled a gun wielding rapist in court and was taken away in an ambulance. I then get to the hospital to find said moronic girlfriend had signed herself out AMA. Care to explain?"

"I knew you had a big case..." Started Liv only to be cut off by the angry blonde.

"Cut the crap Benson, why didn't you call me?" Demanded the angry blonde.

"I didn't want to worry you, its nothing." Replied Liv.

"Where exactly do you see this relationship going?" Asked Serena.

"I don't...what?" Mumbled Liv, slightly confused at the question.

"Let me tell you where its going." Replied Serena putting her hands either side of Liv's chair and leaning in until their faces were an inch apart. "You are going to marry me, we are going to have a house full of children and live happily ever after! So you don't get to protect me and you sure as hell don't get taken to hospital and not tell me. Understand?" Seeing Liv nod she turned on her heel and marched out of the squad room leaving a stunned silence in her wake.

Blinking several times Olivia stared at the door Serena had fled through. "Did she just..."

"Tell you, you were going to marry her?" Asked Elliot with a smirk.

"Yeah." Replied Liv in a slightly dazed voice, still staring at the door Serena had fled through.

"Yep, congratulations partner, guess its time to buy a ring."

"I already have one." Grinned Liv, "You know I think I will take those sick days, see you later guys."

On her way home Liv stopped by the florist and picked up a bunch of lilies, heading inside their apartment she was relieved she was home before her lover. Arranging the flowers in a vase she lit several candles around the room before heading into the bedroom. Taking the ring from its hiding place, she opened the box, running her thumb over the stones, slipping it in her pocket just as she heard Serena's key in the door. Walking out to greet her she smiled, "Hi."

"Hi, it looks nice in here, is this an apology?" Asked Serena with a raised eyebrow.

"Yes." Replied Liv with a small smile as she gingerly got down on one knee, "I'm sorry for today and I'm sorry it took me so long to do this. Serena, I love you, I have from the moment I saw you smile for the first time. When I look at you I am amazed not just by your beauty but that someone as wonderful as you loves me. I want you today, tomorrow and the for the rest of my life, so will you do me the honor of becoming my wife?"

"It's about time." Smiled Serena.

"Is that a yes?" Asked Liv standing as her nerves started to get the better of her.

"Yes, it's a yes. I love you Olivia Benson." Whispered Serena.

Sliding the ring on Serena's finger, Olivia pulled her close and asked, "So am I forgive?"

"This once." Replied Serena, leading Liv towards their bedroom to celebrate their engagement.

* * *

From the moment they had arrived in Paris, Alex and Casey had tried to see everything, they visited the Eiffel Tower, The Louvre and taken a cruise along the River Seine. All too soon it was their last night in Paris and Casey had arranged a meal in the hotel restaurant, all week she had sought the perfect time to propose but had managed to talk herself out of it each time. Looking out of the window she could see the Eiffel Tower lit up against the dark evening and she knew exactly where she wanted to propose.

Turing from the window to where Alex was packing her case she said, "Let's go for a walk."

"It's raining." Replied Alex.

"It's our last day. Please? Come on where's your sense of adventure?" Asked Casey with her best puppy dog eyes.

"Fine." Replied Alex knowing she couldn't say no to Casey when she pulled out the puppy dog eyes. Pulling on their jackets and gloves they headed into the drizzle, linking her arm with Casey's so they could share warmth and umbrella Alex couldn't believe how happy she felt.

Reaching the Eiffel Tower, Casey could feel her heart thumping in her chest, all her fears running through her mind, what if it was too quick? What if Alex said no? What if the ring didn't fit? What if she didn't like it? She was pulled from her thoughts by the blonde's voice, "Huh?"

"I said, do you want to get a coffee?" Asked Alex.

"Maybe in a bit."

"Are you okay? You're acting strange?" Asked Alex with a slight frown.

"I-I..." Handing Alex the umbrella, Casey dropped to one knee, grimacing as the wetness seeped through her jeans. "Alex, you are my best friend, the first person I think of about each morning and the last person on my mind when I fall asleep. You know me better than I know myself and you make me want to be a better person, when I look into your eyes I see our future. I see a house, I see our children and I see a happy ending. I know to some it might seem quick and heaven knows our relationship did not get off to a traditional start, but I want you, your flaws, your mistakes, your smiles, your sarcasm and even when you're sadness, I just want to love you and be with you. Will you marry me?"

"Yes, God yes." Replied Alex through her tears.

Slipping the ring onto Alex's finger she gave an internal sigh of relief that it fitted perfectly, "I love you."

"I love you too. So much." Replied Alex pulling Casey close the two shared a deep kiss, before heading back to their hotel to celebrate their engagement, with room service and a later flight home.

* * *

The day after their return from Paris they met with their friends to friends to share news of their engagement, something that quickly turned into a three way celebration.  
Refilling their glasses Alex said, "I would like to propose a toast. To good friends, family, love, second chances and happily ever afters."

**As always we are totally glad you guys stuck around for this wild and crazy ride. We both had an amazing time writing this together and getting a chance to share this with you all. Keep an eye open for what we might do next! **

**xxxHistoryPrincess ;)**


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